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Why is this so hard

2 replies

username26821 · 17/02/2024 10:41

Since my only dc started nursery, and school everything has become so difficult.

There was the crying at the gate first, not wanting to go in... Things would calm for a bit and then something else would be an issue. Dc is now in year 2.

I don't even remember all the struggles but I remember it has been a struggle, even though not big enough to ask for others' help.

Dc is not the happy, calm toddler he was. So many worrying little things are happening all the time...
He is making some friends through school as a positive, but we haven't been able to organise any play dates. (I invited two people over but none came to fruition.)I find the school mums cold and cliquey- I'm foreign and really struggling to fit in.
I genuinely haven't seen rudeness like that where I greet them with a smile and they look the other way...

I find the teachers have very little expectations of my child, and are not supportive. They seem to notice very quickly when he's doing the wrong thing but not encouraging his efforts. He is a bit melancholic, with strong sense of fairness - not cheerful and easy- which is may be not conducive to thriving at school.

He can be so difficult in the mornings or after school. He was such a good eater, and that's completely gone out of the window, since school dinners in reception. He was very polite and helpful - he threw his cheese in anger to the floor this morning...

I really miss the first three years before he was in the education system. I know a lot of it is part of growing up, but I just find its just one worry after another at the moment and mostly linked to school.

As both me and my husband moved here from abroad, we are also pretty isolated. I'm sad we haven't been able to create a supportive network for him, outside of our small family.

Just feeling exhausted with it all.

OP posts:
Changethetoner · 17/02/2024 16:19

Perhaps your melancholy is rubbing off on your child. If your home life is unhappy or unsettled, it will be affecting him too. Rather than seeing this as a "school" problem, perhaps it is a general family/life problem. Do you do fun things at home? Do you do fun things as a family? Does he see you interacting with neighbours or friends (not necessarily from school)?

TizerorFizz · 17/02/2024 23:58

@username26821 I don’t think it’s your fault at all! Parents can be unfriendly. I know it can be hard. My DDs liked school but I know some dc don’t settle.

Can your DS say who he plays with at lunchtime? Maybe he could join clubs outside school? What about swimming or football? What are the other boys doing outside school?

I would find out which dc your DS likes and try and communicate directly with their mums. Maybe offer something a bit more exciting than play. Could you go to the cinema? Does he have a birthday coming up?

Lastly, do you have any time to help the pta? Join in at school as much as possible. I know it can feel daunting but it gets you known.

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