Daughter born 1 day over school deadline for admissions

[Sunburymum]

My daughter is 3 and a bit years old, born 1 sept 2020. The council have allowed me to apply for her to start reception in sept. Not sure if they will accept but if they do I'm a bit stuck what to do. She's very bright and confident,her speech is advanced as well as her writing and numbers.She is currently in nursery in age group 3-5 so varying abilities meaning she's not always being stimulated as lots of kids are younger or different ability. We feel reception would benefit her. If she doesn't go this year does she start reception when she's 5 and year 1 when she 6 or does she jump straight to year 1 as she'll be 5 on 1st sept 2025. Also some.parents are telling me not to send her to reception this year and have her another year at home as I'll be sending her to college and uni a year earlier?very confused.....

If choose to give her the extra year when she goes up to secondary or away to uni, so if keep her in her actual cohort.

If she's 3 1/4 in a nursery of 3-5s and they're struggling to keep her interested or move her forwards I'd say that's a nursery problem

I don't understand why you would want to do this.

I think you've got confused with DC born on 31st of August or before, that want to hold their DC back as feel they are not ready for school. Your DD isn't old enough to start school until Sept 25. But she will be old enough to start preschool now. Your DD will likely benefit as the oldest in her year group

Why on earth would you even look to try and get them to go when they are too young?!

DS1 is born 30 Aug. He was 4yrs and a few days old when he went to school. It has been a big disadvantage for him throughout his schooling. He does well academically, but was behind socially and in terms of maturity from day 1 at school and remains so.

I really wouldn’t do this. As others have said being the oldest is better than being the youngest.
there are children in my child’s class who’s birthday is the 1st week of school, it’s not a problem.

also you’ll be surprised at how tired and emotionally drained children are after a day at school when they start.
even those who’ve previously been in nursery 8am-6pm. School, its rules, the noise and presence of the older children is a lot for reception age children to deal with.

I’d also imagine that you’ll cause problems for yourself down the line with secondary school and yes possibly uni etc, if she’s in the wrong year group.

I think you would be mad. I have a summer born who struggles each year for the first couple of terms and then gets comfortable with the level of work by the end of the year only for the cycle to start again in September. Your daughter should be at a real advantage to be the oldest in the year in her correct cohort.

Our DCs were in a European system. They became eligible for school on their 4th birthday.

This meant that there were new starters throughout the year. We never saw the reception teachers without a new starter sat on their knee!

The reception class was actually a mixed year so a child could be in that class for up to 2 years. Children moved up into formal learning classes when they were assessed as ready.

There was a lot less rigidity about age based assessment. It was perfectly normal for a child to be moved up or held back to repeat a year.

I thought it was a lot better system for children than the English system.

Agree with other posters about the whole situation as I was the youngest in my year (cousin was the oldest of the 1 below due to being born weeks apart) & the difference is 100% noticable even though I did childcare ect. Beforehand while he was at home.

This absolutely. Children who are young in the class can really struggle. Even the very bright ones.

Everyone seems to be piling in with children they know who did not cope well with being the youngest, but it's more important to look at this particular child. The best advice will come from those who know her.

DD was prem, which meant she ended up as an August birthday instead of September. I'd have fought for her to defer by a year (which was not routinely offered back then) if she hadn't been ready. However she was very ready for school at just turned four, and I think that year would have been hard work if she hadn't started school. She would probably have ended up more "unbalanced", as she would probably have spent even more time on her strengths, without the PE and art and so on that she got at school. She's now quite ready to go off to university next year, and no ill effects from being the youngest.

So whilst for many children, being old in the year can work well for them, I think there are some children where being the youngest suits very well.

She will start reception after she is 5 so will be the oldest in the year. Why do you want her to start earlier?

My daughter was born 29 August and is the youngest. She is behind academically but luckily managed fine every other way, eg getting herself dressed/ organized / listening/ following instructions etc. I think she would have benefited from being in the year below though.

She is in year 4 now.

Why on earth would you want your poor child to be the youngest when she has the chance to be the oldest? She goes into reception with her cohort i.e. the September in which she turns 5 - she may be 5 before she starts if the term starts after Sept 1st. You are going to massively disadvantage her.

I don’t know what you expect a three year old to be doing at nursery. The “my child is a genius and not being stimulated” doesn’t normally start this early.

Early years is about play. A just 3 year old doesn’t need to be worrying about numbers and writing for goodness sake. Obviously it’s fine to do that stuff at home but they don’t need to be “schooled” in nursery.

I also don’t understand why the local authority would make an exception just for your child. What about the 2nd or 3rd of September birthdays? It’s a slippery slope and the cut off is there for a reason.

I would be extremely pleased and thank my lucky good fortune stars!

Also to add reception isnt just reception it directly leads onto 10+ years of school & your basing the 'advancedness' of your child at 3 years old - she might do really well/she might burn out by year 3/4 of primary....you just wouldn't know by childcare standards

Are there any school nursery classes that you could put her in? She might prefer that. Or a nursery/ pre school class attached to a private school?

Imo the list from @MerryMarigold assumes that your have a child with average academic capabilities whomwill achieve what they should at a specific age rather than depending of the school year.

Well, as we don't know the child, that's probably fair. Although even a bright child might struggle to do better than average amongst other bright children who are a year older.

I'm not saying OP's child WILL struggle or feel a bit 'less'. I'm just saying they might. A year of POSSIBLY being a bit bored (again, only possibly because bright children usually find plenty to stimulate themselves) is a small sacrifice for a long term future.

Fellow 1st Sept baby here.

Send her at 5, she'll flourish.

I think she should go with the flow really.My DS was born in July, and has an MSC from a RS uni! holding her back seems pointless .Many children have September birthdays! A few weeks is nothing

She has a huge life advantage you'll be taking away from her if you send her a year early.

I'm not in the UK but it's not the norm is most developed countries to send children to school at 4. Your DC will be far better off being one of the oldest when she starts. Academic ability is only one aspect of being ready for school, social aspect is at least as important. School is a serious business, let her and you enjoy her younger years.

My DS was born in July, and has an MSC from a RS uni!

Can I ask what an RS uni is?

I think you misunderstood. She wants to send her a year ahead, not hold her back.

Of course she may be fine, like your son and others I know. Or, she may do better a year older. In fact, the likelihood she will do better a year later is very very high.

It's hard to predict outcomes, even for a parent, at 3 years old, but I wouldn't want her to repeat a year later on if mummy doesn't feel like she's doing quite as well as she should. That's enough to smash anyone's self esteem.

I would wait personally and let her be the oldest.

The general evidence is that the older children in the year have better outcomes, but almost no-one talks about the experience of those outlier children who are very bright and autumn-born. I have known a few personally and they need very skilful teaching to extend and challenge them so that they do not become bored. It can be hard for them to develop resilience in their learning if they find everything very easy from the start.

You know your child, OP, and you are not wrong to ask the question, but you will probably have to find an independent pre-prep if you wish to pursue it further.