Daughter born 1 day over school deadline for admissions

[Sunburymum]

My daughter is 3 and a bit years old, born 1 sept 2020. The council have allowed me to apply for her to start reception in sept. Not sure if they will accept but if they do I'm a bit stuck what to do. She's very bright and confident,her speech is advanced as well as her writing and numbers.She is currently in nursery in age group 3-5 so varying abilities meaning she's not always being stimulated as lots of kids are younger or different ability. We feel reception would benefit her. If she doesn't go this year does she start reception when she's 5 and year 1 when she 6 or does she jump straight to year 1 as she'll be 5 on 1st sept 2025. Also some.parents are telling me not to send her to reception this year and have her another year at home as I'll be sending her to college and uni a year earlier?very confused.....

Assuming you are in England.You can’t send her early. She will start aged 5. You don’t have a choice but September born children perform best throughout school since they have an age advantage.

This is incorrect WRT to the KS2 SATs. They are standardised as a scaled score but they are not age-adjusted because they are attainment rather than ability tests.

My daughter is a July birthday and she started school just after her 4th birthday. She is thriving and loves the academic environment. She was totally ready for school and would have been bored stiff staying at her preschool. Plus we saved a whole years worth of nursery fees which we put towards some fantastic family holidays. Only you know if your child is ready for school as all children are different. Speak to your current care providers to see if they think she is ready for this next step. Also reception is really fun and not much of a steep learning curve from a good nursery or preschool. Good luck.

While there is a cut-off that means she is likely to have to wait, it will depend heavily on where you live. Some areas do a 3 term intake, so while you apply, they may not offer her a place until January, or may offer half days (can you fit this into your schedule?)

Only you can decide if she is ready, but schools do offer a visit day, so perhaps you can judge then.

Only you can decide if she is ready, but schools do offer a visit day, so perhaps you can judge then.

Also, some areas will take a child early if they are very short of pupils - village schools, faith schools, certainly we found this in Wales (and my own year group did this in Scotland back in the dark ages), and schools with a pre-school provision do value judgements on spaces between pre-school and reception. Have you looked at school provided pre-schools? This might be a first step.

My DS went in to reception 3 days after his 3rd birthday, part-time - not academic at all, but very sociable, so we found him helping the older more timid children. You may find though that you have to choose again when she goes to secondary school, and if you move counties at any time, you may find that you have to have a conversation with the new local authority.

I think you’ve had some unfairly vehement reactions here. While I know there’s a general assumption that being the youngest in the year is a fate to be avoided at all costs, I can completely understand feeling concerned about a bright September-born child’s frustration at not starting school along with her nursery peers. A friend’s daughter has a September birthday and she did struggle when all her friends from nursery and playgroup went to school and she had to wait a whole year. And depending on how the birthdays are distributed within the class, if there are more with summer birthdays than autumn the age gap can feel bigger, and it can be as socially tricky to feel too old for the class as too young for it. I had lots of friends with November/December birthdays at school who had been put up a year as they were deemed too able for the year below, so it must have used to be more common. I probably wouldn’t try to swap her myself, but I think people are being a bit wilfully obtuse to be so aghast at you considering it - I don’t think September birthdays are much easier than August, both have their own complications.

I can’t quite compute the nastiness of some of these responses. There even has been a deletion! There must be a lot of people who are angry to realise that they probably could have had unprotected sex from September to November after all and it would have been fine

Crackers crazy bonkers to send her early. She’s 4. She’s stimulated enough. Don’t fall for the competitive parenting rubbish from before school even starts. Thousands of studies proving that it’s helpful to be the oldest in the year - why would you take away a year of her childhood?!

Also, although if she doesn’t thrive and struggles to meet the expectations she may get held back a year so will do an extra year in school and be no better off

both my ds went to nursery from 16m. ds1 was born in May. He was always ready to move up throughout nursery, he started school at 4 and a bit and was ready for school in terms of his confidence, attitude and had basically outgrown the nursery setting. However, even though he never struggled, I can’t say he excelled either for the first couple of years, good at maths but other areas probably average. It’s not until now in y3 that he’s advancing and in various areas and improving across the board and getting a lot more recognition. So although everyone thought he was totally ready for school, he didn’t excel like he did throughout nursery. ds2 is end of September born. So started reception about 2 weeks before he turned 5. If he was born just 1 month earlier in August, and had to start after just turning 4, he 100% would not have been ready. I think I would have delayed his start. He was always more introverted and although was hitting all the milestones at nursery and had no problems in that comfortable setting, he only really came out of his shell and found his confidence within less than the last year or so, he would have struggled emotionally going to school at just turned 4. Which imo would have affected his learning. There’s even still a handful of children who struggle most days at the school drop off and need extra support, not sure which are still 4 or already 5, but 1 has the same birthday as ds2 so I know is even one of the older children in the class, so although they are in the right year for their age doesn’t mean they will totally thrive. So it may be that she seems ready in some aspects but due to her age may struggle with the academia not so much because she’s not good at it but more so when compared to the other kids some of which are almost 1 year older. She may be good for her age in the setting she’s in now, but in terms of the cut off she technically won’t be in her age group if she started school this year and will also be in the more academic environment, so naturally likely to fall nearer the bottom in comparison to kids that would ordinarily be in the year above her in school if she starts school when she technically should next year.

We had this with our DD1, born 1st Sept too. She was reading fluently, writing, doing simple arithmetic well before her fourth birthday and we had a couple of schools who were prepared to take her a year early. We thought and thought about it because she was socially ready too, but in the end we held off and looking back I’m so glad we did.
Our reasoning was that she was settled and happy at her nursery and they were fully aware of her ability and worked with it. We wanted to her to go to school with her cohort and figured that she was always going to be bright, but her happiness socially was very important to us too (I’d always been the youngest in my year and it wasn’t great for me). We also thought about the end of her schooling as well as the beginning.
It honestly was never an issue - there were other girls at school who had September birthdays, so she wasn’t the only older one and having two subsequent summer born children, I could really see the benefit in terms of confidence, especially in comparison with our youngest.
You can always do extra at home with her if you need to, but I’d let her have the advantage her birthday gives her, although I know it’s a hard decision to make.

I intentionally held of TTC until December to increase the chance of her been autumn born, as they're more likely to have an easy and enjoyable school experience, relative to summer born's who are only just 4

I really wish I had known about this before TTC with my late summer born baby. Being young in year and with SEN is very difficult.

My dd was born 28th August, she started reception on the 4th September (so was 4 years and 1 week). She is the youngest in the school, but you wouldn’t know it. She is thriving and growing and so so intelligent!!
I was given the option to keep her in preschool for another year as she doesn’t have to be in full time education until the term after their 5th birthday, but keeping her down would have been so detrimental to her well being, I’m glad I chose to send her to ‘big school’.

I agree with this

So the opposite situation to the OP then.

Well, no. That poster is saying that her child is about 3 days younger than OP’s child and coped fine with being the youngest in her year, starting school just after her 4th birthday. OP is hoping to send her child a year early, so also starting after her 4th birthday.

The difference is that the other poster’s child was within the right age range for her school year and OP’s is not. But he post wasn’t about applications, it was about how a child that age coped at school.

(I don’t agree OP should be able to send her DD early by the way, but it’s not fair to say that this post misses the point).

OP being bright and ready for reception is not the same as being ready for school.

Look at the big picture, taking major exams at 15 and the stress that brings, adjusting to secondary school when just turned 11 etc. The research also shows that younger children struggle more.

I'm in Scotland deferral is pretty common place nobody bats an eyelid to it (we don't have reception school starts 4.5- 5.5). We deferred my DS1 and will be doing the same for DS2.

Speak to the nursery if you feel she is getting bored but honestly your not doing your child any favours pushing them early into school. There is a difference between coping and thriving.

I am a 31/08 baby and so was just in the year above. I’m so glad I was as I still did well academically and would have felt a little held back being in the next year down. I completely skipped reception and went straight from nursery to Year 1.

The kids born on 01/09 in our year did some kind of development test at pre-school age to decide whether to keep them down or put them up, so we had some from each.

On the contrary, my son was a preemie, due in October but born in July. He is very behind developmentally due to a long hospital stay so I’m really concerned that he will have to potentially struggle in the year above.

I think it completely depends on your child and there is no one-size-fits-all. It sounds like your DD is bright and so personally I think it would be the right thing to let her go into the year above as being with older children will help her to mature further rather than being bored and unmotivated in the younger year.

I think it is interesting that a lot of the “ my child was only four when they started school but graduated from a Russell Group University with a first” are clearly not aware of how reception class education has changed in the last decade or two. The difference between Nursery and Reception used to be very blurred, now it is much more distinct. Reception teachers are under huge pressure to tick off academic boxes rather than value how the child is developing globally because that is what they (the teachers) are often judged on. Younger, less mature children were given time to mature and develop skills, now they are routinely compared to children a year older from day one. Some will cope, but others may find reception life tiring , confusing and frustrating and will spend a year not flourishing as they would have done under a more child centred approach.

And I note that many of the “four in reception/ Russell Group” children were girls, who are often slightly more advanced emotionally and verbally than boys, unscientific observation but interesting.

@viques Not over here. I was a girl who started & very almost finished the year at age 4 & there was no advancement. Definitely behind academicly & socially at different points

& if anything reception classes have gotten alot better over the years at picking out problems/things to work out so even if you can get your kids "in" it won't be a one way street to university

Still agree with the bulk here though - let her be advanced in her age group then adequate in the year above because she does well at nursery

The only occasion I’ve heard of this being allowed was when identical twins were born 31st August & 1st September … the parents fought to have them both in the same school year so technically the younger twin started school a year before he should.
They then had to fight again when they got to year 11 as legally the younger one was too young to leave school and should’ve repeated year 11!
If your child was born 1st September then they will start school on or after their 5th birthday.
A girl in my daughters year was born 10 minutes past midnight on 1st September so is literally oldest in her year. From experience I’d say the older ones do better, the younger ones in the year seem very immature in comparison and struggle. I wouldn’t make
your child the youngest in the year and would worry that they would be forced to them remain in school an extra year at seniors which would be awful!

I think this is probably your answer.
mid be surprised if (in England) they except your child.
it would also then open the argument for other children born in early September to also apply. There is a cut off for a reason.

But yea your child would usually start school the September after they turn 4, yours misses this by a day… and yes they’ll start in reception at 5 and be the eldest in the year…. Reception isn’t just playing as others have suggested, my daughter could read and write by end of year R,

Interestingly Girlguiding has lowered the start date for Rainbow Guides from 5 to 4 because of the demand, and the earlier social development of girls in that age group.

this comment is important. My 2nd daughter was born 2.5 weeks early, in the middle of August. Academically she flew gaining two 6's in her year 6 SATs but when she went off to senior school we had LOADS of emotional issues. Weirdly because my youngest was bullied so badly at the start of Senior school (year 7) we pulled her out and sent her to private. It was the making of her and on reflection I wished we'd done the same for DD2 (well all of them actually). The school we sent her to took children from 3 to 13 and because of that my youngest had an extra two years to be a child - it was incredible. So my final answer would be whether you are in an area that has a middle school (so years 4 - 8) or can afford private.

Exactly what Houseplanter said.

I have DS1 born Nov so older one of the year. No probs. He had extra time at nursery and it made a huge difference to his confidence.

DS2 born July so almost youngest in the year and although academically he had no problems, socially he struggled. He could never find the right words to explain what he wanted and how he was feeling and the teachers didn’t have the time or patience to help him. They didn’t even see that he was struggling and ignored it when they were told. At home his temper tantrums were terrible because all his frustrations built up at school. Age 16 now and all good, still has a short temper but is reasonably mature enough to calm himself down……mostly

Is this aimed at me? Of course I didn't have a section for that reason!

Also a c section can't keep a baby in if you go into labour in August so I'm not sure what you think I did!