School mom has suggested a class babysitting circle

[Prepschoolmomma]

Good afternoon Mumsnet - I'm looking for a bit of advice here on this subject.

My DD started at prep in September in year 1 and therefore we are still newcomers to an established class and group of mom's. The class representative mom has suggested we all form a babysitting circle to help out with after school pickups and the odd evenings too.

I'm just asking here if this is a normal thing to do? Part of me thinks it could be a good idea for a very odd emergency, my head is screaming NO!

It's a class size of 15. Being the new mom I really don't want to be the one to rock the boat by being the only one to say no. For now, I've just left the group message on read and am waiting to see how others respond.

Thoughts on this?

This is how I was babysat as a child! There was a jar of tokens on the telephone table in the hall. I’d love to have a similar setup now I have children of my own; struggling to see a downside.

Yes it's fine as long as you operate on some sort of token basis so that noone can take the piss. Presumably you can just not ask/offer if there are people in the group that you don't like/trust.

If you're unhappy with unvetted/non-family looking after your children then again, just don't offer/ask, but something like this is an absolute godsend in emergencies if you don't have a local network.

I was part of a babysitting circle when my 3DCs were small. Not a class one - we were quite a loose group that evolved over time - friends of friends etc. I joined after meeting one of the mums in the chippy after Rainbows (our DDs knew each other). Each person in the circle took it in turns to keep a file and take bookings, and you earned/spent points each time. It's probably a bit more high-tech nowadays!

It was an absolute GODSEND. Not just saving money, but also you had an excellent chance of finding someone when you needed them.

But if you aren't comfortable with it, just say no. You can lie and say you have plenty of support already and don't really need to join. Or join, but don't use it.

Not usual from my pov and I've had 4 dc go through school.
As a sahp, I wouldn't fancy being 'on call' for pick ups and I wouldn't need to use this myself, so wouldn't gain any benefit. I think it only works for those who need to trade childcare favours.
You don't have to do it and it's perfectly okay to opt out. You won't offend anyone apart from the people who are looking for easy targets to do free childcare.

Great idea. But if you don’t want to do it - don’t do it.

"mom"???

"mom"???

Good lord. Quite apart from the fact that it's been established on the thread already that 'mom' is normal in parts of the UK, do you even know for certain that the OP is from the UK? The pearl clutching and frothing about Americanisms on MN is ridiculous.

My honest, instant respond to reading that was FUCK OOOFFFFF but then I read the comments and it seems I might be in the minority😂

I've picked up, dropped off and fed many kids over the course of primary but I'm not sure I would have signed up to it as a class. I guess some people wouldn't be in the position to offer at all if eg, as seems quite common now, GPs are doing a lot of the pick ups? People working from home might struggle with keeping kids they don't know quiet, too.

Don't feel bad if you can't, OP. I'm sure not everyone will sign up.

Does this only work if everyone has a partner at home who can look after their own DC while they go and look after someone else's?

In which case I would have thought it would exclude the families in the class who would be most in need of help with childcare, ie single parents with an absent other parent.

My DCs' father died when they were in nursery/primary school; I occasionally had to ask other parents for help with pickups and so on when there was an emergency (I had disabled elderly parents to look after as well), but it was almost impossible for me to reciprocate.

I think it's a great idea. I loved my dc having friends over, culturally for me it's very normal to have guests over and to feed them etc, I definitely would have been happy to participate. I just let them get on with it though, I'm not the type to set up activities.

Fwiw we used to have an informal after school pick up thing going on. It wasnt complicated just keep an eye on kids in park opp school for half an hourish. If it rained there used to be a kids play area at the local community centre. Always handy to be owed a favour in case you are stuck in traffic/ work or you get a flat.

Nope, I barely know half the parents of my kids class. I'm not letting random people look after my kids.

Way to show your ignorance.

Birmingham is the second biggest city in the UK, and pretty much everyone there calls their female parent Mom.

And even if that wasn't true, did you really add anything to the thread with your post?

Sounds like a wonderful idea

I think the reason why it wouldn't work for my dd (tbf she's starting reception next year so not yet) is that she's quite aloof and picky with friends. All her little classmates are perfectly nice and friendly with her but she only warms to a few of them. So she'd be resistant to going to someone's house, or having someone round ours, unless it was one of the favoured classmates.

I can't imagine saying "can anyone babysit my dd next Thursday? Ah not you though, dd doesn't like your dd". Awkward!!

@Bobbotgegrinch wrong person quoted 😂
I was pointing out that Brummies (and others in the general West Midlands area) say Mom.
It was the other person (@sunshinesupermum ) who made the silly comment.

Gah, sorry, hit quote on the wrong post!

I live in Birmingham and refuse to be a mom as I'm not a native but yes, it's a thing here. Not sure it's widely known though in defence of PPs. I'd certainly never heard it before I moved.

I think it's a great idea especially with a small group once you have got to know each other a bit better. I have something informal like this with a small group of friends. Difference is that we have known each other a while now and the children know the adults/ other children.

Fabulous idea!!

@Bobbotgegrinch no worries 🙂
(I lived in Stratford upon Avon for a while and they all have slight Brummie accents there. There were a lot of "moms")

I don’t know why your head’s screaming ‘no’.

You get involved as little or as much as you like. If you don’t need the help of other parents, don’t take it. And people won’t expect you to look after their kids.

It’s perfectly normal for parents to get to know each over the years and help each other out. It actually makes life a lot easier. 🤷🏻‍♀️

But I mean, no drama, you just wouldn’t post on there asking.

We were in a babysitting circle when ds was younger. It was really accessible to most because it was free. Loved it.