School mom has suggested a class babysitting circle

[Prepschoolmomma]

Good afternoon Mumsnet - I'm looking for a bit of advice here on this subject.

My DD started at prep in September in year 1 and therefore we are still newcomers to an established class and group of mom's. The class representative mom has suggested we all form a babysitting circle to help out with after school pickups and the odd evenings too.

I'm just asking here if this is a normal thing to do? Part of me thinks it could be a good idea for a very odd emergency, my head is screaming NO!

It's a class size of 15. Being the new mom I really don't want to be the one to rock the boat by being the only one to say no. For now, I've just left the group message on read and am waiting to see how others respond.

Thoughts on this?

Sounds like a sensible idea, you can contribute as much or as little as you want.

What's your reason for wanting to say no?

I can imagine some families finding this really useful and others not wanting to take part. Just don't take part if you rather not? I can imagine the group chat will have half a dozen mums saying "count me in" and some just not replying if they don't want to join. No drama surely

Yes this is very normal,

I don't understand why you would have that reaction to it but if you don't want to take part don't.

If you don’t want to do it you don’t need to make a big fuss. Even if you join you are under no obligation to ever use it, ie don’t have to leave your kid with someone you don’t know and don’t have to have someone else’s kid if you don’t want to!

i can see why you’re in 2 minds - on the one hand it’s a great idea to save money on childcare and stress when you can’t get anyone. But I would have concerns from a safeguarding point of view - I mean the other parents are almost certainly trustworthy but I guess you can never be sure. The parent I’m sure will only be doing it with the best of intentions so if you’re not comfortable just stay quiet, and if pushed say you don’t think you’ll have any need to use it.

I'd love something like this. Babysitting for other parents would mean more playdates for my kids and reciprocation would be really handy!

Fwiw I wouldn't want to take part either, I'd rather use vetted babysitters or family

It's a great idea. I had a group of friends who did it years ago. Not the whole class. I'd have loved to be partbof it bit had to say no because my dh's job was such that work emergencies could arise and I could never rely on him to be home at an allotted time.

I think it's great to informally help eachother out when needed but I wouldn't want to commit to anything regularly. Just say what you want.

I think this kind of thing works better if it emerges organically. Hopefully you will end up with a few people you know you could ask to collect dc in an emergency. The problem with an organised one is someone taking advantage and everyone else feeling like they can't say no because they did sign up for it!

Baby-sitting groups used to be quite common years ago, particularly in places where people would live away from their families (university areas). Of course , this was before anyone who was not closely known was suspected of being a child molester.

Fabulous idea.
If it's not something you need, I'd join, but never give nor take.

Sounds good to me. No more risky than sending your kid on a play date, and presumably you can manage things to avoid parents you don’t know or whatever.

I was in a babysitting group years ago. There was about twelve of us to start with. It worked pretty well, We each had had ten tokens to start off with, each token was worth an hour. If I babysat for you for two hours you would give me two tokens. We then added in half hourly tokens because it worked out better that way. It was mainly sitting at night so parents could go out but school pick ups and hospital appointments were catered for too. We were all neighbours though, and already knew each other. It could be trickier with school mums.

It's school MUM in the UK, OP. We are not moms. #missespointofthread

@sunshinesupermum unless you live in the Birmingham area and then you are a MOM

I think it depends what they mean. Will it be random babysitting allocated eg 'hi I need some to look after Freddie on Thursday morning between 10: 00 and 12:00' and then some responds with 'i can' or whether it's a proper circle with everyone taking a turn. With either you are bound to get someone who needs care all the time but suprisingly never has time to actually do any sitting themselves. Think I'd be inclined to say yes, but never actually use it!

Nope. You'd have a hell of a time getting out of the idiot parents babysitting your child for a start.

I'm really confused by this 😂 I've lived all over England and never been called a mom before.

Worked for us. Big international scientific company in our village. Husbands abroad a lot two tokens an hour double after midnight. One couple took the mick rolling in at 3am. Another couple expected me to feed, bath and put the kids to bed, never put the heating on. So I refused to babysit for both couples again.

It was great for a few years.

It's school MUM in the UK, OP. We are not moms. #missespointofthread

It's always been 'mom' in certain parts of the UK actually (particularly the Midlands, I believe). So you missed the point of the thread and were also wrong.

I'm really confused by this 😂 I've lived all over England and never been called a mom before.

What's confusing about it?

That’s a great idea, why is your head screaming no, and why are you asking if it’s “normal” .

@Tdcp yes but have you (or your children) had a Brummie accent 😂
(sorry..... derailing thread......)

No, admittedly that's something we haven't had 😂