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Neurodiverse boy with anxiety - school recommendations- Thames Valley and West London

13 replies

SallyLunnBun · 19/01/2024 13:13

My DS is in y4 at a lovely independent boys primary school. The school are very supportive and are known for good SEN support; however, my child is still struggling and in particular becoming more anxious and more of an outsider (no bullying, just isn’t interested in playing football which tends to be the game of choice at playtime). I have a great relationship with school. Can always speak to someone on the day if concerns and they always try to help. So on one hand reluctant to move as I’m worried child will have same problems and might not have good relationship with school, but ultimately he will have to move at y7 so need to consider options for future in any event and if in different school maybe wouldn’t need to have so many discussions.

He has dyslexia, dyspraxia, SPD, ADHD and autistic trains (borderline), all on milder end so academically fine (probably not achieving full potential) but impacts all areas because of the different disorders he has. Very high IQ and masks highly (which means it’s really difficult for staff to know theirs a problem till he’s really upset). Very well behaved and always worried he may do something wrong.

Psychiatrist is reluctant to prescribe medication as he feels if child was in a more “neuro-diverse” friendly environment then this in turn may reduce anxiety. Although not able to “recommend” any school…

We are doing ehcp but LA Ed psych says child is academically fine and so I envisage we may get little if any provision (and that won’t alter environment). He would not cope in state mainstream as he could not manage in class of 30. There is not an SEN place in the area and I don’t think he would be considered severe enough for any.

Any recommendations for a school for neurosdiverse boy which is also really good on pastoral care and particularly with children with anxiety? Looking Thames Valley/West London. Good with working with parents, open door policy for any concerns.

OP posts:
Changedforthes · 19/01/2024 13:24

How far out of London would you consider ? If as far as Maidenhead - consider Claire’s Court . Lovely nurturing underrated school with small classes .

MrsCat1 · 19/01/2024 13:29

I would highly recommend St James Senior Boys in Ashford. Nurturing environment. Sounds like he should fit in well.

SallyLunnBun · 19/01/2024 14:42

@Changedforthes on the list. We are Bucks(but close to m4 and m25) so can go either way or North more to Oxfordshire or South to Surrey (local children for secondary go to various counties and our neighbours kid is at school in central London).

We have an acquaintance whose son moved to Claires Court and they sing its praises. I think what puts me off a little is that it seems incredibly sporty. So this little boy was talking about playing rugby x 2 a week (my son hates rugby). Sounds like all the boys play rugby (not sure if that’s the same in primary now they’ve gone coed). I also heard amazing things about the boys SENCO but know she retired at Christmas and the “girls” SENCO now head and don’t know anyone with experience of the girls.

Good to hear it is nurturing though. How are they with children who aren’t fans of things like rugby? He’s an active child but dyspraxia means ball sports are very challenging.

OP posts:
SallyLunnBun · 19/01/2024 14:43

@MrsCat1 hadn’t heard of that one, will take a look.

OP posts:
Changedforthes · 19/01/2024 14:58

SallyLunnBun · 19/01/2024 14:42

@Changedforthes on the list. We are Bucks(but close to m4 and m25) so can go either way or North more to Oxfordshire or South to Surrey (local children for secondary go to various counties and our neighbours kid is at school in central London).

We have an acquaintance whose son moved to Claires Court and they sing its praises. I think what puts me off a little is that it seems incredibly sporty. So this little boy was talking about playing rugby x 2 a week (my son hates rugby). Sounds like all the boys play rugby (not sure if that’s the same in primary now they’ve gone coed). I also heard amazing things about the boys SENCO but know she retired at Christmas and the “girls” SENCO now head and don’t know anyone with experience of the girls.

Good to hear it is nurturing though. How are they with children who aren’t fans of things like rugby? He’s an active child but dyspraxia means ball sports are very challenging.

Hi OP . Many of my son’s friends are not sporty . DS dislikes Rugby . In seniors The options for the boys that don’t want to do Rugby or Football are water sports .- Paddlesports , Sailing and Rowing and athletics in the summer . This seems to work well for the boys I know . Yes it is a sporty school but there does seem to be room for all . They treat boys as individuals and seem to help them play to their strengths . I can’t comment on the Juniors though the site is lovely my son moved later.

SallyLunnBun · 19/01/2024 15:03

@Changedforthes that’s really good to know re seniors. The good thing about the school is if we moved him now he could just stay there till 18 (he’s not a fan of change).

OP posts:
Motorcyclemptiness · 20/01/2024 18:43

Would highly recommend Bruern Abbey for a boy with SEN and high IQ, OP

SallyLunnBun · 20/01/2024 20:24

@Motorcyclemptiness recommended by a friend who works in Oxford, although she didn’t have recent experience. What are they like with anxious boys?

OP posts:
Motorcyclemptiness · 22/01/2024 13:14

@SallyLunnBun My DS left the prep school a few years ago but the environment was good for anxious boys, bearing in mind that everyone had come there following adverse experience in mainstream prep schools and that the school's ethos was/is to be nurturing. PM me if you like?

SallyLunnBun · 22/01/2024 19:53

@Motorcyclemptiness thank you

OP posts:
mybrainisfull · 22/01/2024 20:34

For senior school it sounds like Wychwood in Oxford would be an excellent call.

Chadhask · 12/03/2025 22:24

Can I ask what school you went for at the end?

Eight8eight · 14/06/2025 18:53

@SallyLunnBun Just wondering if you found a suitable school in the end? I have an eight year old with a very similar sounding profile, also in Bucks. Thank you

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