Still angry with the school

[Cllodi]

Hello everyone.
So last week the school failed to pass a message from me to my 10 years old son during school hours. Which meant my son ended up alone on the street ,without knowing where to go and he made his way home (a good 15 min walk) but I wasn't home so he had to go to the neighbours without knowing what was going on. I'm not going into to much detail. I emailed school and sent an email saying we are sorry the staff was too busy and forgot. The thing is I'm still mad and angry . I don't know how to respond to the email. I do want to say that's OK but I want them to know that it isn't OK and I'm just saying it for the sake of it. How do I respond to the email?

What else do you expect them to say or do? They've apologised, as presumably the person who failed to send the message had been spoken to.

I get that it's frustrating, but I don't know what it is you're looking for

They’ve apologised. There’s not much else they can do. Your son was sensible enough to go to a neighbour’s. Tell him he did the right thing, and let it go with the school.

So you've complained, they've apologised, but you want to complain again that their apology wasn't profuse enough? As PP said, what outcome are you seeking?

I'd be expecting some sort of reassurance that they understand the seriousness of their actions and that staff are going to be trained better so it's not repeated in the future. Just because this instance didn't have serious repercussions doesn't mean it's not possible.

There is another thread ongoing at the moment of a pupil who was left standing alone in the street and people are advising to raise bloody hell due to the lack of safeguarding. I don't see how this situation is much different, really.

OP, I'd be asking to speak to the headmaster/mistress and state that there has been a safeguarding breach and you're looking for clarification on what process(es) the school has in place and to ask for reassurance that staff will be trained on this going forward.

I can understand your frustration but like pp I’m not sure what more you’d like them to do? Now that he’s 10 (and perhaps going to senior school next year?) this is a good time to put emergency arrangements in place so that he knows what to do if you’re late or in an accident or whatever. Does he have a mobile phone? A key to your house? Does he know to go back into the school if you’re not there? Etc etc.

He showed you that he was able to make a good decision when you weren’t there - now is the opportunity to build on that and put things in place to deal with the ‘what if’ scenarios. Unless you’re about to tell us he is ND or something and was placed at risk by the school?

@GrumpyGinger is that the thread about the 5 year old?

What was supposed to happen at the end of school? Was your son supposed to leave school alone? ie he did what school expected, but there were issues when he got home, or is he always handed to an adult?

Does your child have permission to leave and walk home alone? If they let the child leave without permission then I would escalate the complaint. Otherwise if your son was supposed to wait and he came home, id encourage him in future to go back into school.

I assume this situation is different because the OP (as is v common for yr5/6) gave permission fir her son to walk home by himself (if not it really isn’t ok).

if you have given permission and he doesn’t have a phone and something changed they although the school should have past the message on you need to have a go to the neighbours type plan anyway. Relying on a school message system is the best plan

I hope you told him that he handled the situation really well.

My son’s school encouraged them to go home by themselves from 10 (we live in a city). It was a bit nerve racking (for me not him!) at first and he got the wrong train once at that age and had to sort it out himself, although I gave him advice on the phone. In your circumstances I would be annoyed with the school too, they let you and him down. However at his age now, i think back up plans/instructions are a good idea. It is good to build resilience through independence, although hard sometimes to let go protecting them “in case”.

Why did your child walk home alone? Why did they not just turn round, go back into school and tell them that his parent has not turned up as expected? Why did he not go and ask them to ring you and check?
School has apologised. You could contact them and ask for what they have done to ensure messages like this get passed along. Not sure what else you can expect.

When you say alone on the street, was there no option to go back into school to wait/get them to call you, or did they kick him out and make him wait for collection outside?

Thank you everyone.

So my son is year 5 ,he needs signed permission from me to leave school. But I collect his younger brother first and he's allowed by the teacher to walk on the other side 9f the school at youngest class . I leave 15 min from school and because his brother was off school sick I told him to met me on the other side of the road from school . But then I booked the only appointment available with the doctor at the time he finishes school. So I called school and gave 2 choices ,I either collect early or they let him know he is to Come to the doctors , some road we were meant to meet just 2 doors dawn. Now the office ladies didn't tell him this so by the time he realised I wasn't there the classes were closed. So he went home. He doesn't have a phone as he's getting one when he starts to walk home - he doesn't need any sooner. The school office said they were too busy and forgot to let him know. Eventhough I explained when called that he doesn't have a phone and I didn't want him waiting there all alone.

Was he not able to go back into school? School offices stay open for longer than the classrooms are - a school doesn’t lock the doors and gates as soon as the children are let out.

What will you be doing in case something goes awry in the future (as they can easily do)?

It was a mistake. They have apologised. You need to move on.

It is unfortunate, but your son coped well and is fine. School have acknowledged and apologised. Not sure what else they can do? You could make a formal complaint, but you’d have to be clear about what outcome you want.

Okay, perhaps controversial but I do think this is pretty serious. I would be asking how they have changed their policies to ensure this doesn't happen again.

I also think it would be worth getting a phone for your son, even if it's a "dumb phone" just for occasional emergencies like this.

I think that child left on the pavement was 5 years old so not comparable to a 10 year old. Still not great but not comparable.

You can complain further but they have apologised already. When your son got to the place he usually meets you and his younger sibling, there should have been an arrangement that, if you weren't there he should return to school. The school office would still be manned.
Be prepared that the school may decide that he needs to be collected from his teacher in future rather than being allowed to meet you elsewhere.

staff will be trained on this going forward.
What "training" exactly are you hoping for? Trained on how to verbally pass on a message?!
"Training" on how to be less busy so they get time to pass it on?
"Training" to be less human so they don't forget?

Honestly @Cllodi it isn't ideal, obviously in an ideal situation the message would have got to him, but ultimately if you have given permission for your child to leave school and walk out alone then it is your responsibility to ensure he is safe and able to cope with that. Once he leaves school premises, it is no longer a school safeguarding issue as they had your permission to let him leave.

You need some sort of phone or watch where he can see messages. Messages to school could always be prone to human error. All they’re going to do is apologise, which they have.

Well one of the changes they could make to their policy for a start is:

"It your responsibility as a parent to prepare your child for what they should do in the event of any uncertainty or change of plan over their usual going home arrangement. For most children this will be to return to a classroom or the school office to seek advice from a member of staff. We are happy to keep mobile phones in the office during the school day for parents who prefer their child to have a mobile phone for their journey home."

I work in a primary school office. Sometimes, all the shit hits all the fans at once, and we are busy dealing with other things at home time. Sometimes the office staff may pass a message onto another member of staff to inform the child, who then gets distracted in the corridor by eg, a child vomiting or having a meltdown, and the message doesn't reach the child in time. We do our very best under often extremely busy working conditions but no system is foolproof and this is where YOUR responsiblity as a parent is to ensure that your child knows they MUST come back into the school office if you are not in your usual place.

As it is, it is too complicated to expect the office staff to offeri2 choices for the child to make as the office then has to call you back to let you know what's the child wants to do, and what happens if you're uncontactable? eg no signal, on the phone to the GP. It ends up being too time consuming for the staff and wires can get crossed and children misunderstand the message. Far better in your circumstances to tell the staff you will come early to collect him.

And get him a mobile phone.

You offered him a choice (via the office) at what point did you realise that you hadn't got a response?

I'm assuming the OP means she gave the office staff 2 choices and they chose that they pass on the message that he meet you at the Drs. Which is bad that the message wasn't passed on. But as a one off after telling them what happened I wouldn't bring it up again. You don't know what happened in the school after you made that phone call. They could have had kids being sick, an Ofsted announcement, someone wetting themselves during a nativity rehearsal etc. Things happen and people are busy and messages don't get passed on. Hopefully now they've been told they messed up they won't forget again. Also, at 10, really your son should know whether he's allowed to walk all the way home and if he knows he's not I'd be cross with him that he didn't go back into the school to explain you weren't there.