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Original poster

Fights After School - I am dreading it when DD1 goes to Secondary School

15 replies

Sparkler · 14/03/2008 16:48

DD1 is in year 4 in middle school at the moment so has just over 3 years before she moves up to secondary. Her current school is next to the secondary school that she may go on to. I was waiting for DD to come out of school and watching all the other kids walking past. Next thing a huge group of kids built up and there was loads of screaming and shouting. A fight had broken out. It made me feel sick. Someone ran off to find a teacher - and braver than I would ever be one of the mums intervened and pushed her way through to break it up. Next thing the community beat officer turned up and all the kids standing round starting moving off in all different directions and the group cleared.
I know we can't wrap our kids up in cotton wool forever but I am just dreading the day she moves onto the bigger school.

OP posts:
dustystar · 14/03/2008 17:07

Oh poor you how horrible. How did your dd react? Was she worried?

Original poster
Sparkler · 14/03/2008 17:12

Hi dusty . I think we survived . Just hate to think that kids start off so innocent and then turn into thugs like some of them.

OP posts:
tearinghairout · 14/03/2008 17:16

Weren't there fights at your school then? They were a frequent occurrence at my school and used to be the highlight of the day! (that's me as an onlooker, not a participant.) Don't worry about it. Boys - and a small minority of girls - just like fighting. It's letting off steam and sorting out disputes. Those who don't want to be involved, ime, needn't be.

juuule · 14/03/2008 17:19

It's not always that easy, tearinghairout. Some don't have much choice over whether they are involved or not.

tearinghairout · 14/03/2008 17:22

If you keep your head down you're unlikely to get involved. I learned not to draw attention to myself. There were some pretty rough kids at my school but they do like a reaction, & if they don't get one they move on.

cory · 15/03/2008 11:58

I have to admit there were fights in my day, and it did seem less of a problem then. Don't know why, but I do think we have less tolerance of violence than people did in the 50's, 60's and 70's. Which is probably on the whole a good thing.

southeastastra · 15/03/2008 11:59

my ds is 14 and he has never been involved in any fights at school, ever.

cory · 15/03/2008 15:09

Most kids surely don't get involved in the fights; it's usually a small bunch of the same children every day; just that they get noticed a lot.

Original poster
Sparkler · 15/03/2008 22:59

Thanks for your replies everyone. I'm just hoping that DD stays sensible and stays in with the right crowd. Guess that's all I can do.

OP posts:
themoon66 · 15/03/2008 23:02

i found out only recently that DS was involved in a fight when he was in year 8. He is a sixth former now. He just shrugs when I try to get details out of him.

vixma · 15/03/2008 23:22

I know this sounds over the top but have you thought about sending her to self offence lessions. I have just sent my young man 11 to kick boxing. He is not very sporty (enjoys computers) but loves it as it is all about stratagy and thinking and self confidence. They have also taught him how to react and deal with these situations if thay arise. Biza bizarrly it does not teach how to be violent but instead, how to deal with violence. Lots of girls go to this club as well as boys 6-13 years. it is worth looking into, most kids are going to see violence where it is in the area they stand.I was very anti martial arts, however my view has changed since I me and my child have learned about it.

nkf · 15/03/2008 23:30

What matters is how schools deal with the fights. If they take them seriously and deal harshly with fighters then the fights will decrease. If everyone takes the "boys will be boys" view they continue.

Original poster
Sparkler · 15/03/2008 23:31

Thanks vixma - not over the top at all. Certainly something I will consider very seriously. Thank you.

OP posts:
Wisteria · 15/03/2008 23:40

My dd1 (14) and dd2(12 nearly) have never been involved in a fight at school and their school has a rep for being rough - personally I've not found it like that but they do tell me about fights that happen - it's only those who want to fight who do from what I can understand...

Try not to worry, I know how hard it is, I lost sleep over it in the summer before dd1 went 'up' but it's been far better than I had envisaged. Your dd has 3 more years before she goes so try not to wory about tomorrow but live for today

Wisteria · 15/03/2008 23:41

Agree with vixma - my dd1 went to kick boxing for a few years - it's a wonderful hobby for them

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