Oxford Independent School Choices (the Dragon School)

[AbbyMAOX]

It would be great to know what people think about the Dragon School in Oxford. It was recommended to us from a friend who attended ages ago and adored it but we've heard some really worrying things from people with children there now who are thinking of leaving and our neighbours who know people with children there and have had interactions with parents.

I was initially hoping maybe it was because the school is transitioning under a new head because I know that can be tough. I just haven't found a single person with a positive thing to say about her or the new changes. I'm also concerned about what I've heard in terms of tolerance for bullying and some of the stories are truly shocking.

Current dragon parent and can confirm lots of issues. I'm so sad to say we are counting the days until we leave. It's nothing like it was even five years ago. There are so many other great options in and around Oxford.

I feel exactly the same- the school promotes the elite. Bullying is rife and selection for teams and trips is hierarchal. We may be leaving sooner than expected.

@AbbyMAOX there are such great choices to be made in and around Oxford- no need to settle for somewhere that's not right. All schools go through good and bad spells and a great history alone isn't any guarantee. I'm a Dragon daughter GD, neice, cousin and aunt. But not parent- despite wanting to love and choose the Dragon, it wasn't right for us when DS were prep age- too big, too many day pupils, too London-dominated. If not already doing so, you could consider Cothill, Summer Fields, MCS, Moulsford, St Hugh's, Abingdon, Chandlings, etc etc etc.

I agree with much of the above and all schools and especially that all schools go through good and bad spells, but the dragon is particularly worrying at the moment because of the new head. We all really wanted to like her and were so excited to see a first woman get the spot as head, but things have deteriorated and now so many families are leaving, I would not start my child there now. They need to decide who they are and be transparent about it. Whatever you say about the other schools in the area, at least everyone is clear on the offering and expectations. The dragon feels really lost at the moment and it is very sad to watch. It will seem great on a tour with beautiful fields and smiling faces included but the moment you have a concern or a problem it all goes sideways.

Speak to a parent who has been there for more than three years and has children in multiple years to hear the changes for yourself. Make sure you ask about the financials, when the music school will be finished and how many times they pushed the deadline, and why they have removed a teacher without explaining why to parents (I hope there is no truth to the rumours about why).

Are there any dragon parents who would be open to talking to me about the school? Considering starting DD in the pre-prep… in north Oxford, the only choices for girls are Oxford High prep and the dragon? OH seemed very quiet and studious which isn’t my daughter right now! The kids who spoke to me whilst at the Dragon really impressed me - polite, confident but not arrogant. However, I hear things like this on mumsnet which is obviously concerning!

Please help -
I am looking to enrol
my 3 year daughter in either of the following school :
Dragon Oxford
wellington prep
lambrook
st George Windsor - I’m flexible as I will relocate to the area. Please help which one is the best ?

@Toddlermum01 I would suggest you start your own thread with a descriptive title, such as:

Dragon Oxford, Wellington, Lambrook or St George Windsor

Otherwise people might reply to the original question on this thread (from Dec 2023) instead of yours.

Hi - I used to be at the Dragon (in the late 1980s) and all three of my kids (14, 12 and 9) have been/are at the school. I'm conscious that other parents / pupils will experience a school differently, but our experience has been overwhelmingly positive.

All our children are very different in terms of character, interests and academic abilities, and the Dragon has worked/is working really well for all three of them. I think the school is in better shape than it was in the 1980s - back then some teachers were brilliant and some were treading water whereas now the standard is high pretty much across the board. I also think the school has got better over the time our kids have been there, which I appreciate differs from some other people posting here.

Going back 10+ years as prospective parents, we had heard that the Dragon had a bullying problem and it definitely spooked us. But our kids experience did not tally remotely with what we had heard beforehand. While we have become aware of isolated incidents of bullying, we've also seen how the school has tackled it. Again, I'm conscious it is a large school and this may not be everyone's experience so I'm not trying to minimise the other comments. I'm just trying to point that this is not a universal experience.

Our experience of the pastoral side has also been excellent - both for supporting one of our kids when they weren't happy, and for supporting us and the kids during on-going period of parental poor health. As a large school, it means they have a lot of specialist support and a broad range of pupil/parent experiences. We've leant on this heavily at specific points.

My final note is on the Headmistress, who I think is really great and this certainly seems to be the overwhelming feedback from parents we know (which is quite a large group given we've had kids in three different years).

Every pupil and parent will experience a school differently, but it's worked brilliantly for our three. I'd really encourage any prospective parent to speak to as many current parents as possible to work out whether it's right for your kid(s). In our experience, nearly all the parents we know would make the same choice again and think it's an excellent school.

Ps - am not affiliated with the school in any way other than as a parent, and a former pupil who loved my time there

Hi @Curiosityhuggedthecat did you get any further information about the Dragon from current Dragon parents? We have the same concerns as you and have also considered OH for our daughter. Thanks!

Our experience (one at the Prep and one at the Preprep) has been largely positive, with the odd blip. I will say that I think the kids who will get the most out of it are the ones who are reasonably emotionally robust - it’s a large and quite a laissez-faire sort of place and kids who are very shy or sensitive might easily fly under the radar. A friend reported to the school that another child (not her son) had been badly bullied and was told that “boys will be boys”. My DC have generally been happy and well-supported but I can see that for some children, a smaller setting might work better.

Sorry; I wrote that in a rush and upon re-reading, it looks a bit “I’m alright, Jack”. It isn’t meant to! We all worry a bit about finding the place where our children will be happiest, of course, however confident or sensitive they may seem at a given moment. And these things can sometimes change so quickly!

Ex Dragon parent. School were extremely dismissive of issues I raised with them and responded mostly in a 'calm down dear' way which infuriated me since I have never made demands on staff time at the schools my other children went to, and pick my battles extremely carefully. Absolutely nothing happened in response to various concerns raised. We chose Dragon because we felt they would provide really amazing opportunities for our daughter who is ambitious and outgoing. The reality was that the school's focus is on boys academically, and on boys' teams in sport, whilst it feels that the girls are 'provided for' (eg there is no head of girls' sport). During years 7&8 the girls were subject to daily comments and rankings by the boys of their physical attributes, at a time they are starting to grapple with puberty, and the school did nothing to manage the boys' attitudes or behaviours. At an age where it shouldn't even dawn on them, the children are super aware of the wealth among their peers - it's a cultural thing that the school nurtures ostentatiously at their events (£15k for dinner with the head anyone?). They carry out lots of virtue signalling around fund raising for bursaries, but I genuinely think it would be the worst option for a child from modest means to be in the school environment. My daughter was laughed at by some of the 'cool boys' for being a 'try hard'. Says it all really.

I hope you DD is thriving now, @taffyandcindy. As the daughter, granddaughter, great granddaughter, great niece, niece, aunt and cousin of Dragons I badly wanted to love it as an option for my twin sons. But we came to the conclusion it had moved too far from its quirky and unpretentious foundations and reading your daughter's experience makes me sad that those crucial years of childhood into early puberty could be spoiled. We all know there are dizzying levels of priviledge in some of these schools but it shocks me that a decent prep would draw attention to disparities of wealth and create self-consciousness amongst pupils.

There are so many other prep schools in the local area to give you other options

Awful school. Our son hated it here after E block. There is nothing to do at break time except a paltry sandpit and that leads to a lot of bad behaviour. Big divide between very young and emotionally vulnerable boarders and day pupils. Regret not taking him out after E block which was a much more positive experience.

Awful school. Our son hated it here after E block. There is nothing to do at break time except a paltry sandpit and that leads to a lot of bad behaviour. Big divide between very young and emotionally vulnerable boarders and day pupils. Regret not taking him out after E block which was a much more positive experience.