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Original poster

Have to confirm indep school before state school results... help!

26 replies

amidaiwish · 13/03/2008 07:40

Boring for most people i know but i am in turmoil!
I have an indep school place for DD1 (reception sept 08) and they are now chasing me to confirm the place. However, we do not hear about the state school allocation until next Thursday evening and my first choice state school is my preference.

They phoned me yesterday to ask me to confirm or release the place, (probably because Surrey state schools allocation came out last week and now they have children clamouring for places, but that's a whole other thread).

How best to stall them? To confirm the place costs a further £250 (I have already paid a registration fee) which i am prepared to pay if i have to, however if i break the T&Cs by pulling out, i have to pay a term's fees - which i am not prepared to.

Any advice wise mnetters?

OP posts:
SueW · 13/03/2008 07:55

Have you explained to them that you still don't know about your state school place? I think it's important to be honest with them.

TheBlonde · 13/03/2008 07:59

wow you are lucky that the dates are so close together, we have to confirm the indep school before even applying for state here

I would explain to them that you will give them an answer in a week's time as you are not in Surrey

Original poster
amidaiwish · 13/03/2008 08:13

When they phoned yesterday they took me by surprise and i was honest with them. I just said, sorry i hadn't noticed the deadline on the offer letter (i had, just chose to ignore it) but that i couldn't accept the place until i had heard from the other schools which would be next Thursday.

I then oozed how much i loved the school etc and that it was our first choice of independent school, but that we couldn't make a final decision until i heard from the state schools next week.

She was going to speak to the headmistress and get her to phone me today [scared emoticon!]. Apparently they have a long waiting list and other parents are clamouring to know. We only applied before Christmas and by the time had gone for the open day & assessment day we had an offer end of February. I can only imagine this surge in applications is due to the Surrey state allocation results.

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Original poster
amidaiwish · 13/03/2008 08:16

oh, and i don't want to piss them off too much as the school goes from 3-18 and it is likely i will want them to attend from 11...

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moopymoo · 13/03/2008 08:22

think i would explain circumstances and if head pushes for commitment accept indep. place and spin out signing anything for a week. you might risk them being annoyed, but i would say its unlikely this will count against you at secondary entry. What are the chances of your 1st choice state? Is there only one off you list you would send to? Do you secretly want them to go to the independent anyway?

LIZS · 13/03/2008 08:22

If you can give a full term's notice ie at by Easter would you still be liable for a term's fees ? Sounds like they could fill the space if they know by then anyway and losing £250, by confirming now and then withdrawing, may still be better than having no preferred place for September. Would they hold the confirmation deposit/fees against taking up a place later otherwise rather han you forfeit ?

duchesse · 13/03/2008 08:36

Tell them you cannot decide until Friday and have done with it. This is how they get people through the door. The truth is that lots of people are trying to do the same thing (hold out I mean) and the indep school is getting cold feet and trying to push people. Tell them your accountant is studying your financial affairs to see if it going to be possible, and you can't possibly tell them until next Friday.

moopymoo · 13/03/2008 08:37

ohh good one duchesse. I like your style - much less waffly than my suggestion!

Original poster
amidaiwish · 13/03/2008 08:39

thanks for all your vadvice.

I have the form here and have to return it, signed by both parents, with the £250 deposit.

Chance of my 1st choice state are fairly high i think, though nothing is certain and she didn't get in for nursery... I would be more than happy with this over the independent, but if she doesn't get this then we will def go indep.

Interesting about if we give a full term's notice that we won't be liable for the fees. We would be able to give a full term's notice wouldn't we if we turned it down before the start of the next term.

DH said to sign it on Friday then by law we are entitled to a 7 day cooling off period - so would be able to cancel it by next Friday when we will know. Not sure if we can do that, but just hate all these games. I deliberately applied very late, went to last open day/assessment day etc to avoid this scenario! Tis the flipping different boroughs notifying school allocations on different dates that has scuppered my plan!

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Original poster
amidaiwish · 13/03/2008 08:42

Duchesse, i would agree with you if it wasn't for the flipping surrey school allocations. I truly believe they now have people vying for places who aren't happy with the school they have been allocated. All hell is going to break loose next week when the London state allocations come through and then the Surrey darlings have taken all the spare independent places!

Every other indep school nearby you have to have their name down practically from birth. This one is all girls, and catholic (though not limited to catholics) so it is less popular than many of the others.

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duchesse · 13/03/2008 08:44

Move to Devon and send your little one to my daughter's school... It's lovely.

Surrey is mad- I know, I used to live there. [never again]

foofi · 13/03/2008 08:46

amidaiwish - By the way I know of lots of people in this area (Kent) who simply phoned the independent schools and asked for an extension until the other results were available - might be worth a try? Really they ought to wait until you've got all your cards on the table, then they know you are choosing the school because you actually want to go there, not because you are scared you will be left with nothing.

Original poster
amidaiwish · 13/03/2008 08:47

Don't tempt me!

Am beginning to wonder just exactly how much money it takes to have any standard of living here...

£950k for a 1930's semi detached house on a main road, for example! But that, again, is a whole other thread.

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Original poster
amidaiwish · 13/03/2008 08:49

Thanks all, you have confirmed that i should just be honest with them again today when they phone. I might even suggest i go down and chat to the head.

I'll just reiterate what i said yesterday, that i love the school but can't make a final decision until we hear from the school allocations next Thursday. (with the subtext being that if i confirm i'm just as likely to pull out, maybe that's part of their process, to get that additional £250 from everyone!) I wouldn't mind but I already paid £100 to put her name down.

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duchesse · 13/03/2008 08:50

Bendarroch School (that's the school) fee are £1650 a term... Can get a house here for much less, or upgrade for same money -although East Devon is not quite the bargain it was, there's definitely still plenty of housage at £200,000.

LadyMuck · 13/03/2008 09:00

Well this is a fairly standard dilemma, and is usually used by the lesser prep achools as a way of getting extra dosh. The schools are very much aware of all the other admission dates.

Unless you are willing to name the shool then you have to make an assessment, as prep schools fall into 2 categories: those who have far more applicants than places, and where pupils are regularly rejected during the admission tests, or have had their registration lists closed for a couple of years; and those which will not be totally full until September or close to then. To be honest if you only registered recently then I would assume that it is in the latter category, and you might be able to get away with holding your nerve. That said I know that I paid at least one deposit that I subsequently lost simply for 3 weeks peace of mind! For me it was worth it.

Original poster
amidaiwish · 13/03/2008 09:06

it is in the latter - it gets very good results and is a lovely school, but it certainly isn't "upper league" iykwim. it does select through assessment though, rather than just first on the list like the others which have had their lists closed for years.

i reckon i can hold my nerve!! though writing that, i'm not sure i can now. I am prepared to lose £250 for peace of mind, but not a term's fees! (£2,500!)

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LadyMuck · 13/03/2008 09:10

But it won't be a term's fees, will it? You find out next Thursday and if you prefer the state school then you give notice - you will have given over 5 months notice and have lost a deposit, so I really can't see how the school could enforce the contract. Most schools just ask for a full terms notice, so if you have given notice by the start of the summer term (mid April I guess) then you should only lose the deposit. Are you sure that you are reading the T&Cs correctly?

Original poster
amidaiwish · 13/03/2008 09:29

i think you are right. the T&Cs say "We will not cancel our acceptance of this place or withdraw our child from the school without first giving a full term's written notice or paying a term's fees in lieu of notice".

so if i cancel over the easter hols then it is just the £250.

think that's worth risking if they won't wait until next week. it's only a week fgs!

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duchesse · 13/03/2008 12:05

I know of a school that insisted on charging full whack to a parent who changed their mind 3 months before the start of term. The bursar there is a money-grabbing s*it though.

Original poster
amidaiwish · 14/03/2008 08:09

well i didn't hear from them yesterday. I assume they won't just give my place away before giving me an ultimatum will they? [panicked emoticon]

(and i was going to play it cool

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duchesse · 14/03/2008 13:35

Hang in there, Amidai. Be brave, be bold!

Original poster
amidaiwish · 14/03/2008 15:35

well, the admissions secretary just phoned me to say they will hold my place but have to have a letter declining the place or the signed forms when they return after Easter!!

YAY YAY

saved me £250, thanks oh wise ones!

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foofi · 14/03/2008 15:37

That's great news.

foofi · 14/03/2008 15:38

Lesson learnt - if you don't ask, you don't get!!