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Education

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Changing schools

8 replies

germoore · 26/11/2023 06:54

Hello
Has anyone got any advice about changing schools. My DS has started reception in September and I know it's early days but he is struggling. It's a very big school and he went to a very small preschool and very easy going which he thrived in and gained so much confidence there.

Since starting reception he has lost his confidence saying he is useless and rubbish. I see his teacher at least once a week saying he's falling behind and he's starting to being mean to the other children by saying they are rubbish but when I asked him about it he says he is the one that's rubbish.

They have reward stickers and charts and he never gets anything all his friends appear to be thriving and he has started resenting them which is hard to watch. He's so angry with us all the time we have no joy at home anymore.
He is obsessed with getting his homework done but he panics so much he ends up Scribbling all over the page.

His teacher is lovely but I think they are very focused on the academic side of school as that's the only thing they get praise for. Now I see her at least once a week and he's been referred to this and that. I believe he's to young. I come form a place that kids don't start school toll 5.5 years of age and they don't really learn to read or write till they are 6/7.

He loves his friends but I think the only option is moving him to the smaller school down the road which don't seem to have the same focus. It's a religious school and my husband is not keen but I'm really in two minds as I find his behaviour is getting out of control and he's starting to lose his confidence at the rate of nots

Sorry for the long post but I'm at a loss here and just wanted to hear anyone else's experience

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BouleBaker · 26/11/2023 06:57

The most important thing in primary is that your child is happy. If they are not happy they won't learn and they won't make friends. This school sounds like a bad fit for your child. Is the religious school the only other choice?

germoore · 26/11/2023 07:00

BouleBaker · 26/11/2023 06:57

The most important thing in primary is that your child is happy. If they are not happy they won't learn and they won't make friends. This school sounds like a bad fit for your child. Is the religious school the only other choice?

No there is another school but they have a serious problem with bulling and behaviour according to parents in the area.
I don't mind the religious aspect as I'm a catholic just my husband is atheist.
Yes you are right it doesn't seem the right fit for. Thank you

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Itsbeginningtolookalotlike · 26/11/2023 07:02

BouleBaker · 26/11/2023 06:57

The most important thing in primary is that your child is happy. If they are not happy they won't learn and they won't make friends. This school sounds like a bad fit for your child. Is the religious school the only other choice?

I completely agree with this. I would want to make the change before his self esteem is crushed.

chantico · 26/11/2023 07:06

Yes, your current school's approach seems to have departed significantly from the (play-based) EYFS they should be following. This isn't because of the size, btw

You say he has been referred to "this and that" - what exactly do you mean? Getting time with additional services can be really difficult, and a professional (the teacher) seeing the need for other professionals is suggestive that your DS may need some extra help.

And if so, he would need that in any school.

Has he made friends? Do you have his friends round?

germoore · 26/11/2023 07:06

Yeah I just can't sit here and watch him suffer anymore. It's to much but my husband thinks I'm overreacting but I know my kid and my gut is screaming at me to get him out of there. Thank you

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germoore · 26/11/2023 07:25

chantico · 26/11/2023 07:06

Yes, your current school's approach seems to have departed significantly from the (play-based) EYFS they should be following. This isn't because of the size, btw

You say he has been referred to "this and that" - what exactly do you mean? Getting time with additional services can be really difficult, and a professional (the teacher) seeing the need for other professionals is suggestive that your DS may need some extra help.

And if so, he would need that in any school.

Has he made friends? Do you have his friends round?

He's been referred to speech and language which will take awhile to get an assessment. Then he's referred to the early learning support.
He has friends in school and I have a few friends here but not very many which I'm ok with.
I just don't feel the need to give children rewards for academic achievement at this age. I was lead to believe reception was easing them into the school system and helping them gain some boundaries within the school settings. Not homework or focusing mainly on phonics or maths. He's 4.5. I'm sure he needs support and I'll want him to get it anywhere he goes if he needs it but if he's crumbling under the pressure school professionals will refer to any thing as they can not deal with it as he's not fitting in to the fold of the school. Does that make sense.

Thank you

OP posts:
BouleBaker · 26/11/2023 07:26

If your gut is screaming that, then get him out. Try the other school but also look at Home Ed and consider it as an option. Look at as wide an area as you can for schools as well. You can walk in and deregister him any time you like and declare you will be home educating him and it starts from that moment. Then you can do that while you visit and consider other schools and what is best for him.

germoore · 26/11/2023 07:29

BouleBaker · 26/11/2023 07:26

If your gut is screaming that, then get him out. Try the other school but also look at Home Ed and consider it as an option. Look at as wide an area as you can for schools as well. You can walk in and deregister him any time you like and declare you will be home educating him and it starts from that moment. Then you can do that while you visit and consider other schools and what is best for him.

Thank you 🙏

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