Inappropriate sanctions?

[Duckinghell80]

Hi.
I have a daughter who has transitioned from Y6 to Y7 (160 children in the entire school to 2000 in secondary)
Shes very compliant, punctual, worries about getting her homework in on time. I have no need to remind her of anything. She’s kind and gentle and has never received a detention etc.

Yesterday school called me to say they had confiscated her phone for 24 hours due to her sharing a video on Snapchat of the class. I was happy-ish with this punishment. She has a 1 mile walk to school which is fairly new to her. I track her on Life360 and she has to check in with me when she’s home with her 16 yo brother if I’m not at home. I was a bit worried but glad school had informed me
i asked about the video and they said it was of a pupil that had body confidence issues.
Today I collected the phone while she was at school. I checked her social media and she had shared a video of the back of the class. Two pupils turned around so their faces were visible.

Whilst out today I received a phone call from the same teacher inviting me to a reintegration meeting ( Next wed)
When I asked why they said it’s because she had been put in faculty isolation for the whole day today and that we must discuss this and whether she should be suspended.
I’ve seen the video. It’s nothing more that what I’ve already said.
She’s been in isolation for the whole 6 hours. Neither me or her were alerted of this before hand. She only knew when she was removed from her history class first thing.

I’m quite unhappy about the punishment. I agree with phone confiscation and a detention bit what I don’t agree with is confiscation after school hours and a full day of isolation

I’ve looked at their policies and they seem to state that aggression and disruption would lead to isolation.

I feel quite angry at the world today (for various other reasons) so I’d just like a voice of reason to suggest if I’m overreacting or school seem to be really harsh for this kind of behaviour?

x

I completely agree that they confiscated her phone and could have said that a parent of guardian needs to collect it from school instead of then keeping it over night.

I think there may be more to the story- was she disruptive in class?

It really depends on the school rules, if there’s a no phone policy and a no social media policy then she’s broken two rules. Using social media whilst in class, so not listening is pretty poor behaviour too. Also sharing a video of other students is against rules, I guess it doesn’t really matter that it’s got some students faces and some from behind, she has her phone out recording a lesson without the teacher or other students consent.

I think it’s a good idea to speak to the school and discuss what you think is a fair punishment and what the school thinks is fair. Ask them to justify why they are potentially discussing suspension.

I would say that using her phone is disrespectful and breaks the rules in lots of schools. Sharing videos on SM, especially of other pupils is really not good and she knows that this is wrong.

I would talk to the school but she's broken some pretty important rules and should be showing some remorse.

Videoing the class and sharing it on social media is seriously unacceptable. I think it needed more than a detention. They need to make an example over this kind of thing tbh.

I don’t disagree with the punishment - filming in class is a massive issue with teachers being filmed and shared on social media so they will treat it very seriously and you dd will learn a tough lesson. However, you should have known so I’d be upset that wasn’t communicated so you could have supported dd appropriately.

There are such huge issues in schools around social media and technology that they have to come down really hard to maintain their zero tolerance policy. I'd talk to your daughter about consent and filming people without their permission, and why it isn't OK to put pictures of children online in identifiable school uniform.

The only bit I disagree with is them keeping the phone overnight. They didn't know whether she needed it or not for safety reasons. They should have given you the opportunity to collect it.

It's absolutely not ok to be using a phone in class without permission from the teacher. Standard sanction for that is confiscation and detention.

It's even more not ok to have been videoing the class and to have put it on social media. There will be kids that have been very very upset about this. It doesn't matter what happened in the video, your daughter did not have consent from the kids or the teacher.

Other kids might well have forwarded it with comments like (for example). What a fat kid/fatso/etc.

This sort of thing can cause an absolute shit storm of social media bullying that the school then has to take hours and hours sorting out.

They will rightly come down very hard on this.

The only bit I disagree with is them keeping the phone overnight. They didn't know whether she needed it or not for safety reasons. They should have given you the opportunity to collect it.

It's quite a common rule in schools around here. If the child violates the phone policy once, it's kept overnight. Twice and it's kept till the end of the week, 3 times and it's the end of the term. Pupils and Parents are always fully aware of the rules.

I would be querying if she had had any previous warnings.

She isn't mature enough for a smart phone... I think if you want to track her after school you may need a none phone method (would an airtag work?) And a call/text only phone.

Isn't Y7 too young for Snapchat? Seriously. Lots of kids have it, but it presents some real well-being challenges.
Non‐consensual filming in school is terrible. Irrespective of how compliant and conscientious your DD is generally, school have made the right call in this instance.

@Duckinghell80, how would you feel if your daughter came home and told you she had been filmed without permission? That's the way you should look at this - it's a massive safeguarding issue.
It's probably a huge shock for you and your DD, but something you need to accept, looking at the broader issue. Take it as a lesson learnt, and move on from it.

Filming in school and sharing videos can rise to the level of a police matter depending on content and intent and what is being shown. They need to crack down now, hard. It is completely unacceptable to film in class and share it. It doesn’t matter what was in the video. The fact she did it is what matters. Support the school on this. Make her understand that this was totally wrong of her.

Fair enough then. My son is 5 so no such rules just yet 😅

Also if she's year 7 that makes her 11 or 12? On Snapchat? Maybe I'm behind the times but she's way too young, surely?

Given that she not only filmed but then shared it on social media I think I’d be glad that a one day internal exclusion and 24hrs confiscation was all she received.

Using a phone to record others in class is a big issue.

1. She should not have her phone out in class. It should probably be switched off.
2. She videoed others in class.
3. She then shared the video on snapchat.

She has broken the rules in several respects. This is why the punishment is significant.

Isolation sounds right. She used her phone in class, filmed other students, uploaded that footage. Lots of unacceptable behaviour.

Carrying a phone will not keep her safe. Using her phone while waking to and from school is more likely ro lead to an accident.

suspension sounds like overkill, so either your dd’s behaviour was worse than you know, or her behaviour in iso was poor.

the amount of looked after children we have, there had to be a zero tolerance on this type of behaviour. Maybe your dd’s school is similar.

Filming in class and then sharing to social media?! Wow at 11/12 she will know this is completely unacceptable! How do you know if the children whose faces do appear are allowed to be seen online?! She could have put someone in real danger. I'd be confiscating the phone myself and supporting the school.

Confiscation of the phone is pretty standard. Check out the policy. I am sure it will say they can confiscate the phone overnight.

This issue really is a very big deal.

As your DD has been well-behaved otherwise in these first few weeks at secondary, then the matter will end here.

But she needs to be left under no illusion about the seriousness of what she has done.

If there is a specific and exceptional reason that means your DC must not be without a phone after school, then that is a point you can negotiate on (on the basis that whatever that issue is, it is so very important that it out weighs everything else. I doubt a 20 minute walk home would be considered that important though, and she can use her brother's phone to check in with you)

I do agree that the school should have been clearer about the sanctions. It seems as if the first call yesterday did not mention everything, as she was in isolation today.

I think you’re being a bit naive. You need to think of the bigger picture and make it clear to your daughter. One or both of those girls may be targeted because of that video, they might not have a social media presence for safety reasons. It’s never ok to share a video of others without permission, let alone an actual clip in a classroom.

Hi all.

Thank you for your replies.now I’ve slept on it I’m more understanding.
I guess I’m just angry that I wasn’t informed
about isolation and neither was she

She’s had no other behavioural issues at all and I’ve spoken to the teacher twice now and asked if there’s something more to it etc. I have been reassured there isn’t.

@Duckinghell80 I think there is sometimes a big shock for pupils as the "punishment" in primary school is to miss 5 or 10 minutes (depending on severity of behaviour) of their 20 minute break. Then at secondary it becomes very serious.

Having a phone out whilst in school at most schools means the phone is confiscated and my child's secondary says "This school operates a no mobile phone policy. If a phone rings in school, is visible, i.e., seen through a trouser pocket, or is out around school, it will be confiscated and stored securely for 48 hours and a negative comment issued. Students can bring a mobile phone to school providing that it is switched off and kept in the student’s school bag." This also means if it is confiscated on a Thursday or Friday they keep it over the weekend. This is the policy we agreed to when we chose the school and they made this very clear on the welcome to our school evening for both parents and children. So that is the phone confiscation part, having the phone out.

The isolation is for filming in a classroom and then uploading that to social media and sharing with whoever. This is incredibly serious and you need to understand that isolation is considered a harsh punishment and actually fits the crime here.

You need to have a serious talk to your DD about her behaviour and make her understand she cannot do this, she cannot film in a classroom. You seem to be downplaying this filming saying there is nothing more to it, she seems to have recorded someone to ridicule them or else why is she filming? Stop saying she is oh so good because it would appear on this occasion with these actions she was not. Good kids can do awful things. She filmed a child with body confidence issues. I would be asking her why she filmed inside the classroom.

Hiya
she hasn’t filmed to ridicule. The video is from the back of the class and it’s more of just a class room setting rather than of a particular child/ren. In the video somebody shouts something and two children turn round and for a split second you see the side of their face. The video then ends.
In this class phones were allowed to be out (for work purposes)

This is why Snapchat is not appropriate for 11 and 12 year olds, they carnt think through the consequences of their actions and how it affects others.

But surely you understand why this isn't acceptable? Parents really need to support schools with sanctions around phones etc otherwise the schools stand no chance. It is a real problem in many schools and its why I'm so pleased that DDs school collect phones at registration every morning and hand them out at the end of the day as it takes away the issue.
As others have said, Snapchat is not appropriate for this age either. Just because other kids are allowed it doesn't mean it is good.