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Independent school parents: what's main influence when deciding prep schools?

6 replies

hnwis · 18/11/2023 17:21

I'm so confused! Where do you start? We are willing & able to move out of London in any direction to the Home Counties and want to send DD to prep school but no idea how to narrow the net to even begin to choose one. Where / who did you turn to to choose the perfect school?

OP posts:
xraydelta · 18/11/2023 18:02

The tattler good school guide. It's the best guide imo for independent prep schools.

Read it thoroughly and start narrowing down from there based on what you think resonates with you.

For me it was freedom away from the national curriculum (tired, out dated, not fit for purpose) and a emphasis that wasn't based on academic achievement but the development of the whole child. A family approach where mud and the English weather were embraced and children could just be children. Snowball fights, classes that looked and sounded fun, an environment we're learning for learnings sake is encouraged.

The first time I met the head of my eldest's prep school, he was dressed as Just William for World Book Day. As we chatted, the school dog trotted round the corner and curled up infront of the open fire. Frankly, I was sold then 😆 But your priorities might be utterly different.

At another later school (we've moved a lot) there was a wooden sword fighting after school club. It was glorious.

On a serious note, I also want teachers who are happy and well paid (I will and do ask if they have opted out of the teachers pension scheme and what they provide instead if so as this affects recruitment). Fulfilled, well qualified teachers, some of whom stay for ages and some who move onwards and upwards to leadership positions.

I also find out what the food and the loos are like. Do they outsource their food to a for profit company? Why? Try and eat lunch on a normal day there and not a special open day where the food will be better.

Basically, I just wanted a happy child because happy children thrive.

Finally; there's no "perfect school". You just pick the best you can with all the information you have and if it doesn't prove right for you, there's other options. There's always other options in the Home Counties.

xraydelta · 18/11/2023 18:04

PS sorry about the grammar; spell check on my phone not great.

And we've moved schools for work, not for any other reason yet.

WASZPy · 18/11/2023 18:22

What do you want? An academic powerhouse? A free-range unpressured childhood? Top of the league sports? Horses? Performing arts priority? Amazing boarding for sleep-over fun?

Facilities are not everything, but they will tell you quite a bit about what the school prioritises and has invested in. Look at the staffing too, which departments have they invested in staff-wise.

hnwis · 18/11/2023 18:38

I'm looking for some expert guidance really. I don't trust my own judgement & don't really know what I'm looking for. DD only 2 so no idea how academic she'll be, I just want her to be happy & offered lots of opportunities to try a broad range of things. Tatler is a good shout. Any others like this.. is there an ofsted equivalent I should know about? Or any podcasts/ articles I can read on what to look for?

OP posts:
Toansweraboutfees · 18/11/2023 18:57

Round near us (home counties) one of the key question to ask would be do you want a feeder school or an independent prep school?

Feeder schools can provide a smoother path to a secondary school that you really like. But if your child doesn’t make the grade they can be pretty harsh places to be.

Independent preps will provide for a range of outcomes but there is all the entrance exam/interviews stuff to go through.

DibbleDooDah · 18/11/2023 20:42

There are plenty of great schools NOT in Tatler………..

You may well know exactly what you want for your DD but I’m guessing you have some big picture ideas:

Single sex vs coed

Leaver destinations (some schools only really prepare for top boarding schools, others are more prep for grammar schools, some go all the way through to 18)

A rough idea of the sort of area you would like to be located - do you have any restrictions because of work etc?

What are your family values and what is important to you? Some parents will only look at the very top academic schools, others are more concerned with whether DC can take their pony.

It then becomes a much more focussed search. Having such an open mind to literally everything actually makes your search much harder and you can feel totally overwhelmed.

Honestly though, your gut reaction when visiting is the best thing to go on. For all my children’s schools we just knew when we were through the door that it was “the one”.

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