Private School - is it the best use of money?

[SpringPen]

We have been to look at a local independent school with a view to potentially sending our daughter there when she starts Reception in just under 2 years. We loved the school and its values and had opportunity to speak at length to the Headmistress. There was nothing we didn't like. We are lucky enough to be mortgage free and to have a decent household income - ie the fees are affordable but definitely not a drop in the ocean by any means. It is definitely a decision to be made and not an automatic way forward.

Our local state primaries are fine but not excellent and it is clear that they will not be able to provide our daughter with the same level of individual attention, support and nurture that the independent can, if only due to class size alone.

We wonder, if we are going to spend that much money on our child, whether that money would ultimately be better put aside and given later in life to support them through university or to contribute to buying a house or just to provide a solid financial start to adulthood.

I would really welcome others' thoughts.

@Araminta1003 Lots of privately educated Dc do not do well paid jobs. Maybe people you know do, but my DDs friends from private schools are teachers and similar. It’s just what they choose to do and parents have supported their choices. My DD2 isn’t well paid, but she owes us nothing. She likes her job and we are happy she does. Other friends of theirs scrape a living in the arts. Others don’t need to work at all. Others join the family business. They do all sorts of things. If you pay for education and expect a certain result, you might well be disappointed.

However Dc might need to consider how they will afford a home. If the money they earn gets them next to nothing, what then? What if parents cannot help? My DDs make their own choices about jobs but we paid for secondary education, house deposits way above 10%, and funded post grad courses in lieu of the luxury of travel. Fortunately they had enjoyed holidays with us! Their education has not forced them to do anything.

We have sent DD1 to prep from age 4, and will do the same for DD2. We are really happy with the school and I feel that we're getting value for money and it isn't a waste of money. DD1 is having a lovely experience there and she is thriving. For us, that makes it worthwhile. I think you can get tangled in knots fretting over the costs and what else you could be doing with the money, but I don't think it's helpful to frame it like that. Realistically, most parents at DD1's school (including us) will be supporting their DCs with uni and house buying and all the other transition to adulthood costs. And if you love the school and are happy with its ethos and academic approach, you won't feel it's a waste of money in the end.

Our local state primary is outstanding and I'm sure DD1 would have learned well there, but we'd never know if she would have truly thrived. The teachers may well be excellent but all state schools on the whole are suffering from reduced funding, poor staff retention and increased pastoral problems after the pandemic. There's no doubt in my mind that those issues would result in a poorer school experience for DD1, even if she wouldn't have known any better if she'd only ever attended the state school.

“Realistically, most parents at DD1's school (including us) will be supporting their DCs with uni and house buying and all the other transition to adulthood costs.”

So the point being only do private school if you can still do the above?

I am in London. Local prep is now 16.5k per year and rising. I have 4 DC. When eldest was little prep was 8k. With Vat it will be north of 20k soon. Uni fees are rising too and many don’t qualify for full loans even if their parents are not rich rich. House prices have gone through the roof and so have uni rents.

I agree that Education is everything and stays with you for life. However, it is about opportunity cost. If you can easily afford private education go for it. But if it entails not doing holidays and other things for your DC, then I wouldn’t do it. Personally, I would do a full spread sheet and input the next 20-30 years in good faith and take it from there. Some people, for example, know they will likely inherit etc. Some grandparents want to pay school fees to mitigate inheritance tax

State schools do not get reduced funding. They struggle to stretch the funding to everything they want. Some schools have saved up buffer funding from previous years. It’s not always the case that schools have no money. Schools with younger teachers can find they have saved money. At a school where I was a governor, we had a part time deputy head.

Schools in the capital will have £177 less to spend per pupil next year, according to data from the School Cuts campaign. The figures estimate spending power after increases in teacher salaries, pensions, tax and non-staff costs have been taken into account.

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/london-schools-budget-cuts-pupils-teachers-b1039741.html

My biggest regret is not sending my child to private school age 4. We put her in the crap local primary where she couldn’t cope with the noise, crowds and violence. She learned absolutely nothing there (her teachers couldn’t even spell) and picked up some bad habits. We moved her at age 8 but so much damage had already been done and even now years later she is way behind her private school peers who started at age 4 in confidence and all sports.

If I had to choose between private school age 4-18 and then the child is financially independent, or having a child at state school age 4-18 then giving them a free flat, I would definitely choose the private education. An adult can sort out their own job and housing, but a child is imprisoned in school for 14 years: make sure it’s the most nurturing and inspiring one you can get.

Perhpas you have an amazing state primary near you with small class sizes and wonderful staff. If you don’t, go private if you can.

The actual figures are 7.6% higher over 2 years. Not every mat or LA is quite the same and there’s no overall cut. The difficulty is expenditure. Many schools really struggle to control expenditure if rolls fall. Obviously fuel costs are sky high. It’s not easy but not all schools are seeing a reduction and it depends how all this is calculated.

The best return on money will be sending your child state and spending the money on other support externally. Extra tutoring, extra canicular etc.

@Thisistyresome that's if OP has the time to run DC to additional sports, music, drama activities every night to enhance a state education. With private schools these things are already incorporated into the school day so takes pressure off the parents. We both work full time so wouldn't have time to ferry DD around every night to make up to the same level of extra curriculum stuff she gets in school now.

Some really interesting points made in this thread. Particularly interesting for those families (ours included) for whom private education is an option but doesn’t come without sacrifices and where all the money has to be earned directly and is not coming from GPS, trust funds etc. Our eldest LB is 2.5 now so I guess we’ll see what kind of kid he grows into and also where we want to live. I’ll be following the thread with interest.

OP, have you toured your state school options?

Each school is so individual. My eldest went to two private primaries, then a state (we moved), then onto state secondary. My youngest has only gone to a state primary. Of all the schools, my youngest's state primary is my favourite by far.

I would take a look at your other options before deciding, it will make it a lot easier! Just be aware that if you intend on private for secondary but choose state for primary, your child may completely reject your private school choices, like mine did. It's easier if they're already in the private school system, either with a through school or a feeder school.

However if the choice is between private school and paying for uni/helping with house deposit, I don't think you can afford private. I was dead set that no matter what, we wouldn't send our children into adulthood with debt.

I couldn't afford to educate my children privately, and live in an area where the state schools are excellent, but given the quality of the local schools, the main advantage of an independent school is wraparound care and flexi-boarding for parents who work long hours and have to travel for work, or flexibility for children who require time out of school for medical or high-level sport, acting etc, or who require a specialist education not provided by mainstream schools. In terms of results, confidence etc every child I know would be better off with the equivalent amount of money invested and used to pay for a house deposit, professional training etc. So unless you can afford both, I'd go for a good state school unless there were special circumstances that made that unsuitable, or there is no possibility of getting into a good state school.

There are other ways you can help your children, paying off their university student loan so they don't have to pay the graduate tax for the rest of their lives, maxing out their SIPP allowances so they have a good foundation for a decent pension later in life, putting money aside for a chunky deposit so they can get on the property ladder and not rent their whole lives, putting money into a JISA so they have a nest egg they can use as they choose from the age of 18.

Lots of students still won’t pay off their loans. The latest loans do go on for rather a long time though. Previously not taking the loan wasn’t great use of money (according to MSE) if it was spending the house deposit. Outside of London obviously! The people in better paid jobs will pay less as they pay the loan off quicker! I expect to see the birth rate fall even lower!

@PaperDoves it's not about it being a choice. It's about whether private school is the best use of that money. That doesn't mean we would be unable to support our daughter into adulthood but, even if we couldn't, plenty of young people do enter adulthood with debt and are ok. We can afford private school but, as someone described upthread, it is a decision and not an automatic process.

@SpringPen I think it is about choice in the end. If the available schools are all of a muchness, then no, it won't be the best use of money. If the private is lovely and the state options dire, then of course it's worth the money.

I disagree that student loan debt is worth it, but I know I'm in the minority here, as someone who works closely with the finances of people paying off their loans. If the loans were zero percent interest then I would perhaps reconsider.

I actually know someone who is really very rich (think 20 million pounds plus in cash and investments and 3 million plus house) and self made who sends their DC to state schools at primary level, out of principle. In that case I think it is more so that they experience a more normal life. They happen to live in a nice area anyway so it is not an issue and the education they are receiving is good. So even very rich people can have reasons to use the state sector. I guess this person does not want their DC to experience too much privilege. They also do not allow big brands etc. It is quite interesting to me because I would be worried about questions in the future from the DC. Yet to witness what will happen at secondary level.

So even very rich people can have reasons to use the state sector.

Araminta I’m sure there are lots of rich people who do this. Therefore it makes the oft read claim that if private schools were banned the rich parents would improve the state schools utterly ridiculous.

@Araminta1003 thus is what makes me laugh. They are rich so presumably have several great holidays per year, live in a nice area which means their state school is probably pretty good too as they have been able to afford to buy in a good catchment area. Yet they claim they avoid private school because they don't want their DC to have too much privilege 🙄 at the same time as giving their kids the best advantages in life!

@Barbadossunset - well it is very common in certain parts of London where there is also some inverse snobbery at stake and the lovely gentle primary on the same street or next door street is “Far better for DC’s mental health” than the pushy prep where they set a ton of homework and there are lots of Russians and Indians and heels and people go totally nuts over 11 plus.

So there is that and then there is also politics, as pointed out by @Barbadossunset I mean if the Government are going to penalise your DC and you already pay a ton of tax, including for state education, why would you sign up now. That would be my thinking.

Personally I wouldn’t send my DC to private school if we couldn’t afford to also save for house deposits for them and to support for further education like university. It’s a decision we’ve just made, dd will be going to state primary and we’re going to put extra money in he savings pot for a house, uni, tutoring and anything else big that’s needed. But we are in the catchment for very good state schools, we may have made a different decision if they weren’t good.

Consider if you are having more children as well. Personally I would send children to state until secondary and save the primary school fees to go towards a future house deposit for them. Supplement with extra curricular activities.

DH and I were private educated, both professionals. Both kids will be going state primary with good quality extra curriculars. Probably state secondary with tutoring if required.

Would rather spend on tennis, gymnastics, music or whatever the kids enjoy than on private school fees for the sake of it. Local primary is small but not leafy so they get individual attention/pushed by teachers and will get confidence/social stuff from the extra curriculars.

We'd rather have the money for extra curricular related travel opportunities than tied up in school fees.

Nah, not if you want your kid to become an entitled brat with no concept of the real world. I wouldn't want my children mixing with the types who go to private school.

And it only took 48 replies before we sank into the "all private school kids are entitled brats" comment 🙄
@PinkRoses1245 exactly what 'type' goes to private schools in your vast experience? How would you feel if the reverse was applied to state school kids? You are being ridiculous and an inverted snob.