Secondary School Application - Exceptional circumstances?

[neetz007]

We are in the process of making school applications for our daughter. We are just out of the catchment area of one school, so she might not get in as it is oversubscribed. Our daughter's best friend is in the catchment area and will probably get in. Sadly, her friend's father has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. Her mother has said she will write a letter to say how important it is for her daughter to have her best friend at the school to support her through this difficult time. From reading the criteria of exceptional circumstances, I think it might be tenuous to use this reason, but maybe someone knows better.

Please note, we are not desperately trying to find a way to get into this school by any means. There are other options, but we do want to be able to support our daughter's friend in every way possible.

This is the criteria:
"Many admission authorities have criteria where priority will be given to applicants if there is a strong medical case or exceptional need for the child to attend the school named first on their application. Parents wishing to apply under this category must state in the additional information box for their first preference what independent professional evidence they are submitting to support their application. If this information is not provided in the additional information box the application will not be considered under the exceptional and compelling category but will be considered against the remaining admission criteria. ... The supporting evidence from the qualified professional (i.e. medical consultant or a psychologist) must explain clearly why it is essential for the child to attend the school named as their first preference. It must detail fully the child’s needs and address the reason why these needs can only be met at the preferred school. "

Very unlikely I would say I'm afraid - that category is intended to be very specifically about the child's needs, not the needs of others - I've seen a number of appeals where parents have tried to apply under this criteria because of the needs of siblings, but none were accepted.

Occasionally criteria do mention the needs of the parents being relevant, but that would be explicit in the criteria.

If you don't get a place and she does, you could try appealing, especially if there are other good grounds on which this school suits your daughter. It would still be weak, but you never know, the schools case might be too.

I would expect your chances to be limited. This isn't actually your exceptional circumstance but your DD's friend. Also, and whilst I appreciate it may by different for your DD's friend in the circumstances, many friendships change during Yr7. They may well not be best friends by the end of it. The school may also take their view that it is not your DD's responsibility to support her friend and that your DD's pastoral needs may be better suited by her being in another school where she can develop as she wishes, no doubt still supporting her friend out of school.

I support parents with this all the time.

I'd say it's worth trying.

It might not be brilliant, but it's more than:-
It's convenient
Friends will be going there
My child really, really wants to go there

Which is all most families have

Expect it to go to appeal, probably,but they'll "hear" you at appeal

You won't lose anything by trying, but it is very unlikely. As @PatriciaHolm says, this wording is clear that this category is about your child's needs. Her best friend's needs are highly unlikely to qualify.

I would also think very carefully about the message you are sending about your own child's importance and feelings in this. They might stay best friends if they are in the same school; they might stay best friends if they are in different schools. But equally they might not. The start of secondary school is a notorious time for friendships to evolve, and end. You risk sending a message to your child that she is tied to her current best friend forever, and a nightmare if the two ever have a falling out.

Is this school the right fit for your daughter. That should be your main consideration.

That sounds like a very sad situation but it is a lot to put on your daughter if I’m honest, regardless of schooling. I lost my mother while still at school and many, many years later I am unraveling in therapy why I now find it extremely difficult to talk to people about my emotions - a lot of it comes from realising back then that my friends couldn’t do anything to help me and were backing away from my distress. Your daughter feeling obliged to support her friend at such a difficult time when so young could cause her and her friend real difficulties - it sounds like you’re thinking of her as having an adult’s resilience.

This does come from a place of kindness and I hope the family find your whole family’s friendship comforting over the coming years.

I'd say unlikely. My friend's dd was refused exceptional circumstance even though my friend was very likely to die within the first term.