Got second choice primary and not sure about it - HELP please!! (sorry long)

[izzywizzyletsgetbusy]

Hello all - having a wobble about ds primary school allocation - looking for advice/reassurance!!

We applied in Sept naming 3 preferences:

School 1 was local RC primary, small 1-class entry, excellent school, outstanding Ofsteds, very lovely, walkable at a push. We are CofE but don't have a problem with Catholic aspect to education (ds currently at great Catholic playgroup and loving it)

School 2 was our nearest CofE school (but further away, would have to drive), again small (same size as school 1), generally good reputation and results but last Ofsted in 2004 wasn't great and the reception provision was slated. But we did like Head, atmosphere etc when we looked round and I thought ds would be happy there.

School 3 was local non-faith school, about same distance away as school 1, good school but bigger, just felt ds (quite shy) would settle better at other two.

We got School 2 and now I'm having doubts. I thought I would be happy with this but just keep reading the last Ofsted report and worrying that I might be sending him to rubbish school. I know they've put a lot of money into extending the reception classroom/playground and teacher training, and I know I liked it last Sept but now I'm just not sure. DS probably won't know anyone going there, as I stupidly relied on the admission stats for the last 7 years (since school 1 opened) which meant he would have been admitted every other year but this one and thus sent him to Catholic playgroup.

Our options are either to just accept place at school 2 or to go on a waiting list for any places coming up at school 1 (LEA would still hold open school 2 place unless/until place came up). What would you do? School 1 is clearly a better school and he knows children starting there, but I wonder if it would be better to (a) have some certainty about things for ds' sake and (b) accept that maybe some things aren't meant to be!!

Other problem is that we will be applying for dd in 2 years time. She would be virtually guaranteed a place at school 2, but as a sibling would still stand behind all RC applicants at school 1. As school 1 is getting more and more popular, I'm worried this might lead to her not getting in even as a sibling (this year there would have been 26 out of 30 applicant ahead of non-RC siblings, this figure seems to be getting bigger each year!!) Do NOT want to end up with them at different schools!!

Answers on a postcard please, dh thinks I'm being silly getting worked up about it, and that life would be much easier for us at a CE school anyway, but I'm struggling to keep it in perspective now...

Oh I see - your worried that if you appeal and get your son in RC school that you dd won't be admitted anyway in 2 years time and then you'll have to go to two different schools?

What's wrong with the CofE school anyway? You say yourself its generally good, I take it the Ofsted results were fine otherwise you'd have said they were bad, you like the Head, you like the atmosphere and you think ds would be happy there!!!!!!!!!

Go on send him to the CofE and save yourself all the heartache and stress of an appeal. Don't worry if reception got slated in the last report. They should have had plenty of time to remedy that by now and even if they havn't, it's only reception and there's plenty of time to catch up.

Also, you'd share the same religious ethos as the school. Hell, where is it!!!!!!!!! Maybe I'll send mine there.

The only other thing you could do is appeal, win the appeal, change your dd's religion to catholic and she would definately get a place then because a) she's catholic and ) sibling.

Thanks - by time I had posted I had pretty much talked myself into it! Appeal to RC school is not really viable because I know we were genuinely outside the first 30, so nothing really to argue, and I have absolutely no intention of converting any of us to catholicism atm , only thing we could do is go on waiting list in case someone drops out (which could not happen, or only at last minute etc).

SATs at CofE school are very good, although I'm never sure how much to rely on these, just that last Ofsted report is not particularly happy reading. I think maybe I'm wishing I hadn't got so carried away with thinking we'd get in 1st choice, and a bit sorry I therefore didn't send ds to pre-school attached to the 2nd choice CE school so he would know the school and plenty of people going there [guilt emoticon]

Sounds as the the RC one is out - having 2 siblings at 2 schools is a nightmare at primary. Unless you're prepared to convert.

I'd go with instincts rather than Ofsted - and 2004 was 4 years ago, so another one is probably due soon ...?

Any chance of asking the school if you couldl look around again next week? You could ask intelligent questions about implementation of the action plan since last Ofsted, and what is being done for Reception.

Remember, Reception is only 1 out of the 7 years your child will spend there. I wouldn't stress about that if rest of school is good.

Go with school 2. Ofsted is not the be all and end all. It is far more important that you like the Head, and that you picked up on the nice feel of the school when you visited.
Most importantly, you said you felt ds would be happy there.

And finally the fact he won't know anyone there. Friendships are so fluid at this stage, he will have made new friends within the first day.
My dd (in reception this year) went into a class with almost half of the girls from her nursery. Great we thougt But by the October half term she had made best friends with two girls she had never met before, and she has largely left the nursery lot be. So it just goes to show that staying with friends at this age is not all that important.

Go with school 2. Arrange for another visit if it helps you get that nice feeling about it again.
But go with school 2, relax and enjoy.

I'd accept place at school 2. 2004 is ages ago now, and your impressions of the school itself (as opposed to your impressions of the impressions that Ofsted had four years ago) were good.

first off.....ignore the ofsted. Altho it can give a small picture of the school, it in no way gives the full account and should never ever be relied upon for the basis of school choice.

gut instinct counts for much much more, and you say yourself that you liked the school and felt it would be good for your son.

I sent mine to a school with a great ofstead, then just one year later, the head changed, there was a new ofsted looming of which it did poorly in, and yet the only thing diiferent was the head and so new leadership change which obviously takes some getting used too. Oh, and also, the fact that there were now more SEN pupils and also more foreign pupils, and so that also pushed it down the scale.

6mths later, another ofsted done, and great report this time as the head is more in control again (and settled), and yet I feel no difference with my kiddies or how I feel about the school........and yet......to the community and those whose kiddies don;t go to the school, we now have a bad rep!.

I do feel that ofsted, as to SATs etc, have a huge negetive impact on schools which then have a negetive impact to how we as parents feel about them.........leading to the children picking up vibes and they then feel bad about themselves and the school, whcih is so sad!!!!!

I would personally say go with the school choice you have been given, and go look around it again to boost the feeling you had before.

First of all, accept school 2.
Don't talk to ds about anything until it is more decided.
Phone school 1 and ask them what likelyhood of success is.
Ds has got into our RC school and it is leagues above all others. There is not a chance that anyone non RC would get in, the secretary told me that.
Ofsted needs to be taken into account, but it is not the be-all-and-end-all. Go on gut instinct, reputaion etc.

I know - I do agree re Ofsted not always giving a complete or even wholly reliable picture (they were inspecting playgroup this week when I was being parent helper, inspector was there for 2 x 2 hour sessions and seemed very negative with qu's etc to me and staff, yet I know it's absolutely lovely there, and I'm sure her report won't properly reflect that in the limited experience of it she received!)

Problem is we're relatively new to area and don't know anyone (other than kids we've met at playgroup) using ANY of the local schools, so there's no point of reference other than the Ofsteds, SATs and the open days six months ago. I know I liked it at the time, and considered putting it 1st because I knew we would get in on faith grounds, but is hard to remember properly now.

I'll definitely think about going to visit again, but in the end I think our best option might be to take the place and chill out about it. Would be even worse if we went on the waiting list for 1st choice and got a space in the middle of August, when other children had looked around, met teachers etc. Not sure I, or ds, could handle that!!

Don't worry about your ds not knowing anyone - friendships can still be so fluid at this age.

Boys tend to run round in gangs anyway so I'm sure he'll soon feel part of it all even if he doesn't have a 'best mate' or anything at first

And when push comes to shove, could you REALLY start condemning abortion?! I'm being tongue in cheek here- or is it 'cat amongst the pigeons'?? But I believe one of the reason 'faith' schools, especially those of the more 'demanding' faiths get such good OFSTEDs is because of the uniting force of the belief system of the parents- they're all literally singing from the same hymn sheet. They're an 'in-crowd' and for there to be an 'in' there has to be an 'out'. It's one of the reasons private schools apparently do so well- their 'belief system' is a particular ethos that you agree to subscribe to when you sign (and pay) up and they have the right, -nay, expectation, to kick out anyone who deviates from that stated ethos. I'm not suggesting for a moment that a faith school will kick out a child who is not 'of the faith' but personally I'd have a problem with sending my child to a school where the accepted ethos/faith/fundamental way of looking at the world was perhaps at variance to my own. 7 years of that could prove wearing!

Please note I am not condemning the existence of faith schools per se or saying they're wrong (that'd be a whole different topic!), I'm just saying there's a whole lot more than an OFSTED at stake here.