Daughter clashes with her teacher

[Awfulteacher]

My daughter has had issues with her teacher all year. I thought it was just her complaining but others have backed up what my DD is saying. It’s been one thing after another and it’s not got to the point where I have had to keep DD home. I am going to home school my child for the last term, but I was wondering if I could still bring my DD in for her language class and sport. Both have a different teacher. I know I am able to do this, but I was wondering if I should? It’s so she can still see her friends and have some sort of formal education. I should add I’m not in the UK, we don’t get finned for being away.

What sort of clashing? Have you talked to the head? How old?

I don't think they would be happy with her being half in and half out.

It’s a personality clash. There have been so many incidents it’s ridiculous. I have spoken to the head. I can’t get her moved into another class, but she can’t stay there either. My daughter isn’t perfect, I’m sure she is equally responsible, but the teacher has become petty and cruel. It’s mostly just little things but my daughter got a good part in the end of year concert and suddenly was told she can’t have the part due to her behaviour. The form for her senior top was ‘lost’ so everyone else has one but DD. It’s a million little things but it’s getting too much for DD to cope with. The only thing I can do is home school her for the remainder of the year.

Have you been through complaints procedure with the school? We don't get fined here for absence and you can get part time attendance agreed with school but there's still a process to follow.

Yes I have been through the complaints process, but unfortunately nothing changes. I was planning to go the part time route.

Have they approved that? How does she feel about going part time? I know my DD wouldn't want to go in part time because it would draw too much attention to her, she'd rather not go at all.

Time out can be rough on friendships too, DS averaged 3 days a week last year and he did lose friends. DDs found it an issue too, she hasn't missed as much as DS but it still effects things. Neither have had official part time schooling, time out for heath reasons. I'd factor in extra socialising, friends over after school regularly and time to play online with friends if she does that.

Yes I think you might be right. Being there part time might make it worse. I will look into other ideas.

Your dd needs to learn how to cope with personality clashes. Why are the other dc in the class fine? I would not pull her out and instead explain in life you will meet people you do not get along with, but you must learn to cope and find ways to deal. You cannot just run from every problem. I would be teaching your dd ways to be resilient and perhaps bite her tongue if she is rubbing the teacher in the wrong way with whatever she is saying. If all the other kids in class are fine, but your dd then I would focus on her and how to make improvements.

Sounds to me like the teacher is trying to deal with your daughter's bad behaviour and your daughter isn't liking it.

I taught for 21 years. Occasionally parents would claim there was a 'personality clash' between me and their child.

There wasn't.

Personality has sod all to do with it. Teachers are busy, delivering the curriculum to children/young people who, inevitably, would rather be doing something else. I have never known a teacher single out a child for negative attention. If your dd has a teacher who does this, I'd be very surprised. I'd also be entirely behind you in your attempts to get things improved.

The 'personality clash' pupils were inevitably the badly behaved, who didn't want to work and were looking for an excuse. You acknowledge your dd 'isn't perfect'. Consider that she might be the whole of the problem. The answer still might be removing her from school. Not everyone is suited to classroom life.

Sorry but this reads that your daughter is behaving poorly in the classroom and the teacher is trying to address this but you have pulled her out rather than supporting the teacher to address the bad behaviour.

I can quite understand her losing her part in the performance because of her bad behaviour. Why should bad behaviour be rewarded? I don’t know where you are but I can’t see any school allowing a badly behaved child to swoop in, do the lessons they like and swoop out again. What sort of example Is that giving to the other pupils. You do seem to want your dd to be treated as a special snowflake.

I felt the same as the last few responses until I had parents coming to me with concerns for my daughter based on what their kids said. I could list plenty of examples. I thought keeping her in the class would build resilience, it’s only causing trauma. No other teachers have had any issues with her behaviour. I have caused enough stress keeping her in the classroom this long. I won’t send her for any lessons, I have four few other ways for her to see her friends.