How long until he makes friend?

[Noimaginationforaun]

My son started school in September. Previously, he went to nursery for 4 days a week for 18 months. Settled in so well. He had lots of little friends and loved it.

We have since moved house and he’s started school. He is quite shy and just isn’t making friends. He says he hates school. I don’t know what to do. How long does it usually take them to settle in? His teacher says he lovely, so polite, joins in all the activities and things just doesn’t really play with others yet by himself. Yet, at nursery he did. He had whole imaginative, made up games independently so I know he can. He just isn’t. Hate seeing my boy so sad!

No-one can really answer that, as all dc are different and all classes are different.

Playing alongside someone in Nursery isn't quite the same as independently making friends at school.

Just have a quiet chat with the teacher (out of his hearing), or send in a note or an e-mail or however these things are done in your particular school and she will keep an eye on things and mention to midday supervisors, TAs, and anyone else who works with him and they will help.

Isn’t nursery very much led by the staff? I don’t know whether my DDs played cooperatively with others at nursery or not. I rather suspect it was driven by nursery staff and they went along with it.

Playground play at school isn’t quite the same. However in YR I would have thought it was a EY play area. So are there games with Dc and running around tag type play? Or using equipment?

I would definitely ask the teacher about what play actually is and where it is. Who does he “work” or play with in the classroom? Can you get some names and invite Dc to tea? He won’t be on his own all day. Also, are other DC emerging as play leaders? Strong personalities that choose friends and familiar faces to play their games? Usually young children are kind and include others if they are reminded to.

I do believe he will find Dc to be friends with. Just might take a bit longer. I would also mention to the teacher that he says he’s not enjoying school. Is that really true when he’s there? Sometimes Dc fixate on one small thing and don’t tell you about what they did enjoy. So maybe find out what he does like and talk about that? Good luck and I do feel the situation will improve. Pleasant friendly Dc have friends!