Year 1

[Catladyagain]

What has the first 3 weeks of school looked like for your Year 1s?

Our child shared yesterday how awful school has become. He explained how he can't 'even' do a drawing he's been asked to do without being 'told off' for doing it wrong. There is no toy play, he is shouted at/ told off/ made to sat isolated on the carpet for talking in class and his name is on a chart that says 'working on it' for being quiet in class (as opposed to the 'achieved it' chart). He says he has to sit down too much, that he does 'nothing fun' and is 'bored' and 'confused' because he's 'doing his best'. He has always been a self confident person and he has referred to 'trying his best' three times this week each while holding back tears. He said to me that he hasn't had any good days since starting school.

He is bright enough so understands the need for quiet and with respectful engagement is absolutely able to do a thing that is needed when asked, so this isn't about a child who is wilfully playing up. My experience is that most young humans don't actually want to get in the way.

I hear "it's a tough transition but they get through it'. I mean, transition to what?

Thanks for sharing your experience.

Dd has enjoyed being in the higher class and has happily been telling me she isn't in with the babies anymore as she's a big girl now. However, she has told me she is a bit sad about there being much less time for playing. I think this is the main difference and can be difficult for them to get used to.

In your son's case I'd hope they'd be finding ways to help make the work seem more fun and give him plenty of encouragement. Remember the first few weeks are always hard as they are out of the school routine, in a new class with different adults, and can often find all this a bit tiring and emotional. I would mention it to his teachers so that they are aware of how he's been feeling and can hopefully try and support him with it.

Mine just started y2, but y1 was a bigger adjustment than I anticipated and both of mine struggled over the first term. Very little time for play was the big thing, but also dealing with much stricter expectations around behaviour- higher expectations for sitting and listening, more expected in terms of work product, less tolerance of general silliness etc. they gradually settled into it as they adjusted to new expectations

y2 by contrast has been a breeze - super happy to be back, and seem to be enjoying their day. I hear y3 is a big adjustment again, though.

one thing that helped mine (I think!) is getting them to focus on the good bits - asking what they are looking forward to in the morning and asking about the best bit of their day in the afternoon. Often times that was lunch in the beginning, but eventually we found one special thing each day that they could get excited about.

My DD (now yr2) had a similar difficult adjustment to yr1. She's bright, engaged and I imagine very 'easy' from a teacher's perspective, but she really struggled with the transition to less playing, less time outside and more structured work. Her school is on the more relaxed end of the scale too I think.

She never batted an eyelid starting in reception, but we had a few weeks of tears etc with year 1. It soon passed, and going into yr2 she has been fine.

Similar to @Sipperskipper my dd (now Yr 6) had no issues starting reception but did find the year 1 start an adjustment, so I know how you feel. It was the first time we’d ever had tears going into school and felt really worrying. And our school is also fairly gradual about it. I remember googling it at the time and hearing of schools where the toys were kind of locked up but the kids could see them and were struggling with why they weren’t just allowed to play, like they had been before. But my dd adjusted after a couple of weeks and found there was still a good amount of time for play and fun activities and ‘golden time’ if they all behaved well as a class. Hope your son adjusts soon too. And it’s worth talking to his teacher and seeing how they seem to be approaching it.

My DS hates it. Loved reception, is a very physical, active kid, well behaved but needs to move. He’s been in trouble quite a bit since he started back and genuinely upset by it all.

It’s a massive step up, but for some more than others. DD - who likes nothing better than a nice sit down! - was fine with it.

The reports of your DS’s teachers being so hard on him may be entirely true or may be embellished by his impressions of it all being a lot tougher.

My advice is to speak to the teacher and come up with a plan to help him.

I spoke to DS’s teacher and explained this was all out of character for him and that we were seeing a lot of acting out at home due to him struggling so much.

She has

• Given him jobs to do in the class where he gets to move (whiteboard monitor!)
• Given me a detailed class timetable so I can point out to him the opportunities he will get to play on the dau
• Referred him into this small group activity once a week where the kids who are struggling do a combination of physical activity and emotional regulation skills.

I’ve been really impressed. But do speak to the teacher. I was worried she was going to write him off as a ‘naughty’ kid without understanding that this was out of character for him.

My DD is in year 2 but was a bit like this at the start of year 1. It’s a change. She found the writing and reading hard. But by the following term she really liked it, I think because her reading had got a lot better so she found the expected level much easier. I’m sure it’ll just take a bit of time for your child to adjust.

DD is loving it so far. She has told me they have less time to play, but they still have 3 formal breaks a day and is still coming home with loads of drawings and and paintings and colourings in her bag. I actually think a slightly more formal style of learning might suit her better than Reception did, when she’d get annoyed by noise and struggle with what she perceived as “silliness” in the class. If it’s her turn for something that suits her better that’s fine by me!

I think some schools are not controlling noise in YR. I’m aware that when DDs were in YR it was purposeful and busy. Not loud or chaotic. Mine never did play with toys in yr. They conducted teacher led “experiments” to learn and had quiet groups to practice writing, maths and reading.Free Play was break and lunchtimes. Movement to y1 was therefore seamless as they were primed.

I do know some Dc are not ready for more formal learning in YR but play with toys for a whole year isn’t great prep. What was he actually learning? Y1 will be more structured snd Dc need an introduction to it in yr or it’s very very different. It doesn’t need to be.

Dd has loved it but other dc have found it hard for various reasons

My ds is loving that he can play on the big playground now (reception have a sealed off tiny area) he did say the other day that no one wanted to play with him and he was alone in the corner, he said the same thing in reception and the teacher reassured me he has loads of friends still I'm going to take a walk past the school during playtime and see if it's true tomorrow.

It’s probably true for 1 minute. Playground staff do notice a child being isolated. YR usually have smaller spaces with dedicated equipment because it’s seen as part of their learning. Plus health and safety means it’s better to segregate but it’s exciting to move up to the big playground.