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Moving her? Good idea or not?

12 replies

mummyofcna · 15/09/2023 00:18

Hey,
We live South West London and my daughter goes to private school (girls only). She loves her school, friends, teachers and school ethos/environment. She is so academic and self motivated.. her SAS results was 137 Maths and 136 English last year. She is in year 6 right now and she would like to continue her school (senior) but majority of her friends will try 11+. there is one school which is mixed (more academic better gcse results and better facilities than her girls only school).
but my daughter doesn’t even want to try because when we visited last year she says that she didn’t like it (she doesnt say the reason she just says she doesnt want to be in mixed school and her school is the best).
but we are paying a lot of money and I would like to make sure we do the right thing. But my husbands thinks she needs to stay where she is as she is so happy there.

In the same time in England, they say “girls do better” in only girls environment. Which worked for us so far… my daughter was mixed school until year 3 and she really liked her current only girls school. She says lessons are more fun, she has better friendship options and she can focus her lessons more.

So I am a bit confused. Do you think its good idea to move her?

school a - her current school girls only
in league tables usually in top 100 but around 80-100. Transport links are good, bus or train, she can even walk to the school when she gets older(15-18 mins), 18 people in each classroom

school b - mixed school
better facilities, gcse results, more expensive school fees (7k more per annum), bigger school, top 50-60 in league tables, no transport option but school is 2.5 miles away (driving or school bus) 24 people in each classroom

by the way 2 years ago she had offer from school b as well but she preferred school a. But Now every year I see that few girls from her current school moves to school b and I really think if I am doing the right thing.

what would you do?

OP posts:
ThelmaBorden · 15/09/2023 00:21

toss a coin

advice1011 · 15/09/2023 00:24

Why move her if she's happy and her results are good? League tables aren't an accurate representation of the children being happier and thriving.

GuanYinShanxi · 15/09/2023 00:35

I’d stay with school a.
A miserable child in a school they hate, with none of their friends is not going to do very well. A lot of the private schools that rank higher up use questionable methods to keep their status and can be pressure cookers that over stress kids and they can even require kids to maintain a certain grade average every term or be asked to leave.

LadyBitsnBobs · 15/09/2023 01:00

School A.

Brightandshining · 15/09/2023 01:16

Absolutely a no brainer stick with the school she's happy at. Can be very traumatic moving a child's school especially if they are not entirely on board with the idea. Just because the statistics look slightly better for the other school does not mean your daughter will thrive there. You know she enjoys and is doing well at her current school. Stick with it.

lanthanum · 15/09/2023 08:27

I can only see two arguments for moving in that list. Better facilities - well, she seems happy with what there is - is there anything actually inadequate at her current school? Better results - those are the results of a set of pupils, not your daughter. How she does will be less to do with how many other kids are getting top results, and more to do with her ability, work-ethic and happiness. So I would discount both of those reasons. Keep her where she is.

MoreHairyThanScary · 15/09/2023 08:31

School A and use the extra 7 k to look into a tutor if you feel it's needed at any point.

Seeline · 15/09/2023 08:35

The only comment I would make is how linked is the Junior school to the senior school? Presumably different buildings, teachers etc. New girls entering into Y 7 and some of her friends leaving at the end of Y 6.

Is your DD just thinking that things will remain the same in the Senior school?
You say that her current school is small - is it financially viable? It would be awful to have a forced move at a less suitable time (mid GSCEs) if it went bust.

That said, has your DD been prepped for 11+ exams?
The exams must be happening very soon - have you got enough time to register?

RoseMartha · 15/09/2023 08:37

Stay where she is. The league tables are not everything. She is happy and doing well and will be able to get there on her own when older.

SheilaFentiman · 15/09/2023 08:38

School A

parietal · 15/09/2023 08:39

My DDs both moved to school b in similar circumstances. But critically, they both wanted to.

In your case, if DD wants to stay at school A then let her. A smart and motivated student can get good grades in any reasonable school so don't be driven by league tables.

LittleMonks11 · 15/09/2023 08:43

Put her happiness first. School A. She has explicitly told you she wants to stay. Like PP says a pressure cooker environment at an elite school can do untold damage to some children. particularly girls. A happy child at school is the dream. They fly from there.

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