Are we mad to turn down a place at this school?

[carolyn20]

Tomorrow we're going to turn down a place for dd at City of London School for Girls which many people think is one of the best independent schools in the country in favour of a more local independent. When I talk to friends they clearly all think we're mad to do this but our gut feeling is that dd would be happier at the more local school. We're naturally cautious people who've always been wary of putting our children under too much pressure. But by making this decision are we denying dd a great opportunity?

You need to think carefully about what type of characters your daughter is. I sent my daughter to one of those so called 'pressured' schools but because I don't pressure her and never have, she loves it. I think certain parents apply pressure. If you choose not to, I'm sure your daughter would do well at the best school. Would it be a lot further for her to travel? That was my only concern with applying for non local schools.

My big sister went to City and my parents moved her at sixth form because they weren't happy with the education. But she has now turned 40 so it was some time ago! The uniform (assuming it is still pink) is pretty gruesome! Local is much better for making friends, and if your gut is telling you something you should probably listen to it.

Assuming you went and looked round both schools, found out all the relevant (to you) information about them, and know your DDs personality, then you are in a much better position to decide what is best for her than your friends are. Other people's view of "best" usually means "most prestigious" - and what does that count for exactly?

If you have done your research, seen both schools and made a decision based on that and what you know about your DD, then you are making the right deciosn for you and your daughter right now. It doesn't matter what other people think - do what is right for you.

Absolutely agree with Hulababy and the others.

Dd's friend's big sister goes there, it is so right for her. But when they were looking for dd's friend, they didn't even contemplate it, it just wasn't right for her.
No doubt it is a great school, but not right for everyone.

Thanks for the comments. AMIScotland, you're right that 'best' for other people might indeed mean most prestigious and I just need to tell myself that we shouldn't allow that to influence us. We've had a look at both schools (twice) and read the Good Schools Guide and been thinking about this decision all week. It's just now that we're at the point of having to make it, some doubts creep in. From experience with older child the practical things (like travel, local friends etc) do actually count for a lot once they're in the school and these all point to the local school (which is a good one in any case - just not quite in the same league as CLSG). The thoughts of dd doing a daily commute into London is a bit dreary as well. I think we're making the right decision - just need some outside input - so thanks for that!

we did something similar - turned down a league table topper in favour of a local school. it's still only half way through year 7 but we've no doubt we did the right thing for our daughter. she will do best where she is happiest - the school is stretching her academically and she has a sufficiently short journey that she still has time for out of school activities. the school gets good results for some pupils so i'm confident that she will do as well as she's capable of.

We turned down a more academic independent (which ds had a top scholarship offer at) in favour of another about 3 years ago. Have not regretted it at all, he is thriving where he is. Go with your instincts.

I went to a very good school that was 15 miles from my home. I had to get on a bus at 7:30 every morning that crawled through rush hour and would arrive around 9am. I was never home before 5pm. I loathed those bus journeys and the fact that none of my friends lived anywhere near me. The experience affected me so much that I will now only ever look for jobs that are near my house because I really feel I did all my commuting in my childhood and never want to go through it again. I am determined that my kids will only ever go to local schools. I know my parents had my best interests at heart and I hold nothing against them and I did like the school itself - just not the travelling.

We turned down the place today. I've had a few doubts but your comments are really reassuring. I think children need to be happy to do well academically and I know a shorter journey and local friends will be better for dd. Thanks everyone!