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Original poster

Putting hand up

10 replies

sjdubsvi · 24/08/2023 21:52

This is a bit of a random question, but my DD(10) has just moved school when we moved house (we are in Scotland, so they're back at school now!). She's a good kid who works hard and does well generally, and has never been in any trouble.

She has come home twice since starting there saying that she doesn't much like the specialist teachers (languages/PE) as she's been told off for putting her hand up?

First time was her first day and she wanted to ask to go to the toilet (lunch break is shorter at her new school than her old one, so she hadn't had time to go at lunch and this was 45mins after lunch), she was told to put her hand down and didn't say anything but was able to hold on until class teacher was back and went then.

The second time was in PE when she wanted to ask if she could get her water bottle, but the teacher said 'don't put your hand up while I'm talking,it's disrespectful'
So she didn't even get to say what she wanted to and went thirsty.

Now, I get that a teacher probably gets fed up of interruptions, so I do sympathise, and I've told DD she needs to try to go to the toilet in break times, but what I don't understand is why the act of putting her hand up is seen as wrong? She's quiet, she hasn't just blurted out or shouted, she's done what I think is the right thing, raising her hand and waiting to ask when the teacher is ready? She's never had a problem in her old school, but I guess maybe knew how things worked there better so didn't need the toilet in middle of class etc...
Can someone explain if it's common for having your hand up to to be seen as disrespectful? And if so, what should I tell DD to do instead?
Thanks

OP posts:
Meredusoleil · 24/08/2023 21:56

sjdubsvi · 24/08/2023 21:52

This is a bit of a random question, but my DD(10) has just moved school when we moved house (we are in Scotland, so they're back at school now!). She's a good kid who works hard and does well generally, and has never been in any trouble.

She has come home twice since starting there saying that she doesn't much like the specialist teachers (languages/PE) as she's been told off for putting her hand up?

First time was her first day and she wanted to ask to go to the toilet (lunch break is shorter at her new school than her old one, so she hadn't had time to go at lunch and this was 45mins after lunch), she was told to put her hand down and didn't say anything but was able to hold on until class teacher was back and went then.

The second time was in PE when she wanted to ask if she could get her water bottle, but the teacher said 'don't put your hand up while I'm talking,it's disrespectful'
So she didn't even get to say what she wanted to and went thirsty.

Now, I get that a teacher probably gets fed up of interruptions, so I do sympathise, and I've told DD she needs to try to go to the toilet in break times, but what I don't understand is why the act of putting her hand up is seen as wrong? She's quiet, she hasn't just blurted out or shouted, she's done what I think is the right thing, raising her hand and waiting to ask when the teacher is ready? She's never had a problem in her old school, but I guess maybe knew how things worked there better so didn't need the toilet in middle of class etc...
Can someone explain if it's common for having your hand up to to be seen as disrespectful? And if so, what should I tell DD to do instead?
Thanks

Perhaps if it's happening while the teacher is delivering the lesson input, it could be seen as interrupting the flow of teaching?

pastapestoparmesan · 24/08/2023 21:57

I think it’s putting her hand up while the teacher is talking that’s the issue. I’m a teacher, and I don’t like children doing this either. If it’s an emergency they can absolutely interrupt, but either of these ( especially the water bottle request) could probably have waited a minute or two?

blissfu · 24/08/2023 21:58

In the case of the PE teacher, putting your hand up for non-essential things when someone is explaining a task. Imagine giving a presentation at work and someone interrupting you with something completely irrelevant. She didn’t need her water bottle there and then. She also wasn’t desperate for the toilet.

If it is urgent- you can teach her to preface ‘I am really sorry to interrupt you, but xyz’. I can’t think of a single teacher who would have an issue with that.

Surely you can see the issue if 30 children decided to flap their hands up and down when a task was being explained. The teachers need to be firm somewhere or nothing would get done. They only have 20 minutes max before getting the kids off to their activities. Pointless requests and people asking to go to the toilets could easily double that time and result in the lesson losing flow. You should be able to explain that to her?

Original poster
sjdubsvi · 24/08/2023 22:03

I did ask her if she was doing it in the middle of a sentence and she said that she thought they had finished, but I agree the water bottle one in particular probably could have waited til it was v obvious she'd finished. I just felt sorry for her as she's genuinely a quiet kid who is gutted she got told off as it's v unusual at school!

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 24/08/2023 22:06

It's not the putting her hand up, it's the timing of it. Interrupting a lesson during the instruction phase is rude. If a child has their hand up, a teacher is entitled to assume it's to do with the lesson, and a request to go to the toilet when the teacher is in the middle of an explanation can make them lose their thread.
At 10 , she's probably old enough to understand that. She shouldn't be needing to go in the middle of a lesson, or to get her water bottle, and if she really needs to, she should wait for an appropriate moment to ask.
Some schools have a pre-arranged sign, like a T made with fingers, so the teacher can just nod agreement - it might be worth discussing instituting something like that. But DD needs to be able to tell when it's a good moment to ask, and when it's disruptive.
Lessons almost always go like this: teacher talk, intro and explanation, giving out handouts, repeating explanation, children then start independent work. It's fine to ask to go to the loo during the independent work part, but not during the explanations; make sure DD is clear about what stage the lesson is at.

Original poster
sjdubsvi · 24/08/2023 22:07

@blissfu I get your point, but while she did hold it, she was desperate for the toilet and found it difficult to concentrate for the rest of the time.

OP posts:
Original poster
sjdubsvi · 24/08/2023 22:08

Thank you @DelphiniumBlue, that's useful.

OP posts:
ReeseWitherfork · 24/08/2023 22:11

Can you talk to either teachers about these incidents to understand? It seems really minor but if there’s an etiquette change from her old school, and this is knocking her confidence and upsetting her, then it could continue to spiral.

SammyScrounge · 29/09/2023 02:04

4

Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 29/09/2023 03:39

I would talk to her about timing putting her hand up. And make sure she knows if she is desperate for the toilet and being ignored to just walk out the room.

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