Is it cruel to move children in the middle of their schooling?

[helenepurple]

I am thinking of moving out of london and just wondering whats the best time to do so. I worry about the effect of the change of school, making a whole new set of friends etc. my sons are 4 and 6 now. I would love to move now to lessen the impact but fear I have to stay on in london for another 3 years at least. So thinking of moving when older boy is around 11.

What do people think? interested to hear peoples own experiences when children as well.

Am i correct in thinking, only move if you are sure its going to be better. my reasons for moving are to find a good secondary school (private or state)attended by local people in a nice are were we can live etc. Also a place where people don't move as much as london so can put down roots a bit - long-term friends.

We moved out of London when DD was in reception and DS was 2. DD soon settled into her new school. Overall our quality of life is so much better out here. So that also has to be taken into account as well as school.

Personally I would say do it when they are younger as once they are 11 years old they will have established some good friendships (hopefully) so the break would be more difficult for them.

no they will cope - and as they are oung they can form friends i the way that children do

i will steeotype ad say that boys IMO find it easier tha grls - its usually a gm of batan or footy ad everyone is their mate - they aren't so much into cliques.

by the time they reach senior school they will have a good bunch of friends - which isbetter than jumping into senior school with no friends - imo

Depends. Sometimes, you can't help it.

thats batman

not the island in the philipines!

Depends on the circumstances and how the move is managed.

We moved from hemel up to the dales a few years ago. best thing wer ever did for the kids. School is a million times better, local authority is much better, kids got loads more support (they have autism).

They had problems initially which I have subsequently blocked out with alcohol but the long term benefit to them has proved worth the short term hell problems of settling in.

I think it's better to move when they are younger, as less likely to be very resistant or as worried about losing friends etc. More likely to fit in easily and be accepted in new school. More likely to adjust to it all than an older child, imo.

Times to avoid moving at all cost, during the GCSE and A level years. I think they can cope with a move between GCSE and A level IYSWIM.

Trying to time the move to co-incide with the start of the new school year is good, if yo can manage it, but obviously that isn't always possible

I thought you were going to be asking about moving May or rather August! Go now, then they will have a good group of friends for starting secondary. Nothing worse than having to join a big secondary school not knowing anyone.

I moved school when I was seven (because we moved house), eleven (went to grammar school) and thirteen (we moved abroad). Each time I had to make a completely new set of friends.

It was fine.

We have moved back to Italy after 8 yrs in the UK just before christmas. Ds was in yr 1 and very happy. He now has another 6 months of nursery school here in Italy (starts primary in September). Yes, I feel quite guilty and sometimes I'm not even sure if moving has been a right choice. But we wanted to try and live in our country and we thought it would be easier now than in 5 yrs time... I'll let you know how it goes

I moved from Surrey to Suffolk when I was 14 and one term into my GCSE year. It was great for me. I kicked up such a fuss about going threatening to run away (in fact I think I spent a night in my friends stable) and being a nightmare child but I loved my new smaller school and absolutely thrived there. I would hate to live in Surrey now (Dad is in Kent and it is so busy and expensive) and so I am glad that I call Suffolk my home and that is where I want to get back to eventually. London is only a train ride away.
You have to do things at the right time for you sometimes. You will probably stay in the place you move too longer than the children after all. If you are thinking about it now you are obviously considerate caring parents and your children will be fine. They might even gain some confidence from the whole experience in the long run, (though that didn't happen for me sadly.....)
HTH
We are a forces family and so have a few moves ahead for my dd's. They are 5 and 2.6 and I have to say I want to get settled sooner rather than later but this is our life at the mo so what will be will be.

We moved from the Croydon area to North East Somerset just over 18 months ago when our daughter was 14. We were able to arrange that we moved at the end of term when she was in yr 9 and so she started at her new school in September in yr 10 ready for her GCSE courses.

She is extremely happy at her new school although it has to be said that if we hadn't moved house she would have had to move schools as she had been so unhappy. We are all enjoying a more relaxed way of life being away from the South East. I think if you make sure you do your homework about schools and communities before you move most children will be happy.

The comment about it being difficult to move at 11 is not necessarily true as unless everyone goes from primary to the same secondary school most children will have to make new friends at secondary school.