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Original poster

Private tuition for preschoolers

36 replies

Minfor · 20/08/2023 13:42

DS is 4 and about to start primary school. I've recently discovered that a couple of the kids who will be in his class are doing Kumon maths and English classes on Saturday mornings. My initial reaction was that they're far too young for extra-curricular tutoring but now I'm wondering if I'm the only one not doing it, in which case DS would be at a disadvantage going into school. I don't want to hothouse my children but also don't want to close off opportunities to them at such a young age.

The parents of the Kumon kids do not seem at all pushy or particularly academic themselves, although apparently one of the kids knows all his times tables!

Is it normal for kids to have private tuition before they even start school??

OP posts:
sendismylife · 20/08/2023 13:46

No it isn’t! Kumon is great for drilling facts into children, but not so good for understanding. Let children be children!

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 20/08/2023 13:49

My dc are about to start Y7 and Y8. They are both in state schools, schools that people move to the area for.

The only children I know who've had extra curricular tuition are:

  • those taking entrance exams to independent schools
  • those with diagnosed conditions getting specific help eg: dyslexia, dyscslcula
  • those taking an additional subject exam independently of school

In my experience, it is not "normal" for a 4 year old to have extra curricular tuition! He hasn't started compulsory school, how can he be "behind"?

AbacusAvocado · 20/08/2023 13:49

Not normal at all. Also kinda pointless as they’ll then cover all of this stuff in school anyway, so they’ll be bored.

usernother · 20/08/2023 13:50

I've never ever heard of children that young having tuition. And I cannot see the point of it.

RudsyFarmer · 20/08/2023 13:51

I think the obvious answer is where do you live? That will probably tell us all we need to know.

BoohooWoohoo · 20/08/2023 13:52

Is it a state school or private school?

Beginningless · 20/08/2023 13:53

I’d say don’t let your poor kid get swept up in this madness. Many countries more sensible than ours don’t start formally teaching children til 7. From what I’ve seen kids who learned a lot before starting school can be quite bored while their peers learn what they already know.

Bananasplitlady · 20/08/2023 14:00

Putting preschoolers into tuition means that the parents are the bizarre combination of supremely over invested coupled with exceptionally lazy. No small child should have prolonged periods of focused work, and even the busiest parent in the world can find 10 minutes here and there to count, read, chat, play a game, sort socks, make up silly rhymes etc. Farming out basic parenting of tiny children to a company is unnecessary, and quite frankly, shit parenting.

Fleetheart · 20/08/2023 14:02

more money than sense surely those parents?

Original poster
Minfor · 20/08/2023 14:03

Thanks all, good to hear! I'm always a bit paranoid about these things.

@BoohooWoohoo it's a state school. @RudsyFarmer we're in Essex. I'm curious to know what that tells you...?

OP posts:
JenniferBarkley · 20/08/2023 14:04

Mine are 5 and 3 and I can think of nothing worse. Let them love school and enjoy learning at this age.

A child that age might be able to recite their times tables but I'd be surprised if they understood the meaning, which is more important.

They only get to be little once.

CaptainMyCaptain · 20/08/2023 14:05

It's not normal and I would say it's quite pointless.

RudsyFarmer · 20/08/2023 14:07

It tells me your in a Grammar school area and I would be right.

Hoppinggreen · 20/08/2023 14:07

God no, why would you do this?
I read to DD and took her all over the place but didn’t teach her to read or write pre school as I knew the school would have a method and I didn’t want to case issues
She picked it up very quickly, got an academic scholarship to Private school at 11, smashed her GCSEs and A levels.
Kids of that age should just be having fun not being tutored

Cornettoninja · 20/08/2023 14:10

It’s pointless tbh (unless you’re going down the route of very competitive private education).

They’ll be board when school starts and they cover this stuff, they might get confused if the teaching method is very different and in all honesty you can achieve a pretty solid foundation in core subjects through play, songs and, the dreaded, YouTube at this point.

My dd learned a load of times-table nursery songs at a similar age that I was confident would give her a good foundation for maths. It didn’t Grin she remembers nothing!

RudsyFarmer · 20/08/2023 14:10

I’d add though that if I were in a Grammar School area I’d probably also be thinking how I could give my child an advantage if o thought they had the potential to be bright. You don’t have to go down the tutoring route though when they’re twelve. You could do a million and one other things as enrichment and sometimes just being there and being conversational and interested is enough. You’ll be amazed how many parents don’t engage with their kids!

RudsyFarmer · 20/08/2023 14:11

*when they’re four

bakewellbride · 20/08/2023 14:17

"A child that age might be able to recite their times tables but I'd be surprised if they understood the meaning, which is more important. "

This. I've seen 3 year olds in private nursery who can chant the continents of the world on command. They have absolutely zero idea of what a continent is, it's a waste of time / performance to 'look good'. Ridiculous.

Don't bother with tutoring at that age. Read with your child and enjoy doing fun things with them. I used to teach Reception.

Original poster
Minfor · 20/08/2023 14:24

@RudsyFarmer you are indeed right! Apologies if that's a drip feed. I do like the idea of my DC going to the grammar (as I did) but I was planning to give them a few years of primary school first to see if they're that way inclined.

When I went to grammar school many years ago the majority of kids didn't have tutoring to get in. I think that's changed now. But 4 does seem a bit young to start.

OP posts:
DanceMumTaxi · 20/08/2023 14:25

This is absolutely ridiculous. I’m in an area with loads of pushy parents but I’ve never come across tutoring for nursery age children. There is definitely no need at all. Understanding is far more important than by rote learning.

RudsyFarmer · 20/08/2023 14:43

Everyone will parent differently. For some they throw money at it in the hope that that sorts it. Others will tread more carefully and watch the child’s personality first. Others just have exceptionally bright children and they need zero help to sail through.

i have dipped my toe in the tutoring arena but not until my child was 10 and we have a tutor who is fun and concentrates on on subject where extra help is needed. If I were thinking of a Grammar School/private school path I’d be tutoring from year 3/4 which is the standard.

if I had lots of money and had my time again what I would do is think about an instrument and think about help with a foreign language. I think those things would be golden at a time when the child is such a learning sponge. But again it has to be fun and is always helped by a parent who might have musical or linguistics inclinations - which I have none 🤣

CountTo10 · 20/08/2023 14:59

Oh just let children be children. My son is a summer baby and couldn't even read when he went into reception let alone preschool! Turned out he's badly dyslexic. However in four weeks time he's going to an RG Uni having got 3 A's. Once he got support for his dyslexia he just flew. Children learn at their own pace. Just leave them to it.

Lovetogarden2022 · 20/08/2023 16:12

It's pretty common where I live tbh. My older two have sessions with a tutor anyway for different reasons, but my preschooler has sessions as well now, as do two of her best friends. Best investment ever ime and it means she's ahead of most of her peers when she starts in reception.
I learnt fast with my older two that 'making a good impression' is absolutely vital.
It's not 'intense' - it's really fun and enjoyable sessions that they really look forward to. It's just to ensure they know basic numbers/basic letters etc. We do a lot with the kids anyway, practicing times tables and all that, but they learn more in a 30 minute session with our tutor than they would in an entire week with us 😂I guess we're fortunate to have found a really good tutor though. My kids DETESTED Kumon, as did I as a parent.

Wenfy · 21/08/2023 21:59

Kumon is the way Asian (including Indian) kids learn. A lot of parents do it because it’s familiar and it does work at making kids faster on tests. The method also helps kids learn faster because they’ve memorised the basics. I started DD when she was 2.5 but with DS I’ll wait until 4

SamPoodle123 · 23/08/2023 07:56

I would say let kids be kids. Some parents are crazy at prepping for 11+ or getting ahead and starting early. I think it is best to let kids be kids and if they suit Grammer or academic schools later on, you will see that in year 4/5 and can tutor/prep then. Before that, I would just foster a love of reading and let them play outside. And even with reading, I would not push them so young, as they catch up when they are ready.