Twins at prep school

[erint09]

Dilemma.

We have three daughters: DD1 (11), and twin DD's (6). We have recently moved across the country, taking our children out of the primary school we loved for years. Our eldest daughter will be starting year 7 in September at a local 3-18 private school. For us, none of the local state secondary schools met our standards and our DD1 (who has dyslexia) seemed best suited to private school.

We had an amazing experience with the primary school the girls were attending and are worried about whether our new local primary schools will be as good. We are unsure whether to apply for primary school for the twins or enrol them into the same 3-18 private school as their sister.

Would it be cruel to DD1 that she attended a state school from ages 4-11 whilst her sisters attend a private school from age 5? At the time our eldest started school, we were financially secure so private school was 100% not an option. But now we are able to afford for all three at private school.

What are your opinions? Should we enrol the twins into the local state primary school until they start year 7 (obviously moving them if there are any problems), or should we start them in year 1 at the same private school as DD1?

Year 2 for the twins, sorry. Mum brain.

I don't think it's cruel or unreasonable given you've moved locations. The primary school you loved and sent your eldest daughter to is unavailable, and if the best option in your new location looks to be the private primary school I'd send your twins there.

Have all three at the same school, lovely for them all to be together. It's fair as you have just moved to a new location.

If the local Primary is good then use it, depending on availability of places at the Private school you could move them if it doesn’t work out

You are chasing equality (giving all children the same regardless of circumstances), but equal is not the same as fair. Do what is best for all of your children right now and let go of the comparison between now and what you could give your eldest 6 years ago.

By “prep school”, do you simply mean a primary school that requires fees to attend?

Just a thought, but you may get more replies without using jargon.

Forget 'fairness'. Your circumstances are now different. If you still lived in the old location, the younger children would be the same as the older, but you don't.

I'd put all 3 in the same school just for ease of logistics etc. Times have changed, you don't need to put twins into maintained school just to match DD11's journey.

You will probably get a fees discount for the twins if you ask, most prep school admissions people I know would be over the moon to get a late application for twins into years1 or 2!

I would.

You want them to access the same type of primary education your older one had and you say the local state schools don't seem to be able to provide the equivalent to what your older DD had. Therefore the option that best matches that is the local prep, so go for it. We had similar circumstances with a bigger age gap and differing financial position too. The main problems occur if one has to go state all the way through whereas subsequent children go private. DD1 is still have a substantial and important part of her education in the same sector as her siblings.

Ignore the PP who thinks prep is jargon and therefore you won't get replies. Most people knkw what a prep school is even if she doesn't.

Pick the best school for the twins.

Your eldest daughter attending state primary in a different location and under different financial circumstances is totally irrelevant

I think it is more about quality of education than state vs private, even if the financial implications are different for the family. It also depends somewhat on the educational needs of the twins which can differ. I have a friend who has twins - one went to grammar, the other twin private (dyslexia) - the grammar twin has no additional needs and is thriving in grammar.

Personally, I would try the local state option first to assess it properly.

Schools fees seem to be going up a lot and with a potential 20 per cent extra on top of that in the next 5 years, that is also something to consider. Unless you won the lottery/received a huge inheritance/sold a business very successfully. Remember though being temporarily better paid is not always a permanent given.
Also uni fees, house deposits etc - all considerations even if you have some money right now. I am speaking from experience here as again, I have friends who were doing incredibly well with successful financial jobs who are suddenly struggling because they put their kids into incredibly expensive private schools, took on huge mortgages which have risen massively.

I don't think you're thinking about this the right way round. The focus here imo needs to be suitability, finances and logistics - what school is best for the younger two (and does it have space), can you realistically put three kids through another 13 years of private school with an increase of potentially 10% YoY, and what is feasible if you need to fetch, bring, pick up etc each child?

No it's not cruel, it's impossible to give children exactly 'the same' when they are of different ages and the prevailing circumstances are different. Just aim for equality of opportunity within the family over their entire childhood (up to university age) and explain this concept in age appropriate ways.

Well this is what we did and it seems to have worked out all right - they are all adults now.

does the new school even have place for your twins?

and if it does - isn't that a bit odd as most decent independent schools rarely have 2 places left in a year at such short notice?

@TJsAunt My DH is in the Navy so the children have automatic places (where we live it is law that Military families must be given spaces).

@TheWayTheLightFalls @Araminta1003 Fees are not a problem for us as we will receive discounts and in the past few years our financial freedom has increased drastically.

Also, we have decided that we are going to try the twins in state school for a year and see how it goes. If it goes great, we will move themat the start of Y7. If it goes badly, we'll move them straight away.