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Original poster

Private or state school

35 replies

Pomvit · 28/07/2023 04:19

Eldest due to start high school next year. I’d love for her to go to private school however she wants to go to the local state school
with her friends.

Do I push her to sit the entrance exam so she has options or just accept her decision. I want her to have have the character building and the experiences private education brings that she can’t appreciate at 10yo as part of the decision making process.

I want her to be happy but am I doing her a disservice by letting her make the decision - my gut feels like I should let it be her choice but my head tells me I know best.

OP posts:
BonjourCrisette · 29/07/2023 21:46

HowDidWeGetHome · 29/07/2023 21:07

I know which school you mean. I know kids who go there and by all accounts it's a fantastic school academically but also great for sport and pastoral care.

There are many state schools in my area (which is probably not too far away from you) that are fantastic but under considerable strain with lack of funds. My kids have been through 2 different state high schools and I've seen with my own eyes the lack of equipment, awful buildings, constant supply teachers, rising class numbers, unsupported SEN issues and low moral and burnout in staff. My kids have done really, really well academically and we've provided all the extra curriculum activities and support schools can't at the moment.

Part of me says don't waste your money when your daughter is going to do well in a state school - it's clear she has your support - and part of me says pay the fees and go. I'm one of those f*cking annoying people who has always been opposed to sending my kids at a private school (I went to highly academic private hot house that you will definitely have heard of) but I've seen the damage this government has done to our state schools and I know the school you're thinking of is great.

Good luck in your decision. I'm wiling to bet once you start touring schools you'll opt for the private.

How do you know? OP has two posts and they are both on this thread.

HowDidWeGetHome · 29/07/2023 22:10

Op said the school was on a new campus, not far from Alderley Edge and it attracts footballer's kids etc.

StillWantingADog · 29/07/2023 22:17

When I was 10 my parents entered me for a private school exam, I was really annoyed when I found out and therefore refused to sit it. I wanted to go where my friends went (a very average comprehensive, where I then went).

I eventually joined the same private school for sixth form. I wish my parents had handled the whole thing better and I’d have gone there from year 7.

that all being said I am not pressurising my own year 6 son to do the local private school test. I am offering him the option. It’s a bit different though because a. The local comprehensive option is good and b. Although we can afford it we have younger dc too so financially it would be a (very) big stretch.

I do generally agree that at age 10 they don’t understand the broader implications of their decisions. I’d take her to open days etc and just sell it as much as you can. I disagree with 10 yos being put under pressure to pass tests though I know it’s very common

GodessOfThunder · 29/07/2023 22:19

Hoppinggreen · 29/07/2023 21:29

No idea but apparently much better than the character someone would develop at Private school according to another poster

Show quote history

Funny :)

Wenfy · 29/07/2023 22:25

imo the true benefits of private school only materialise when the child goes from primary.

BonjourCrisette · 29/07/2023 22:30

HowDidWeGetHome · 29/07/2023 22:10

Op said the school was on a new campus, not far from Alderley Edge and it attracts footballer's kids etc.

Thanks! I was slightly confused!

BonjourCrisette · 29/07/2023 22:33

Wenfy · 29/07/2023 22:25

imo the true benefits of private school only materialise when the child goes from primary.

I disagree. I think private primary is a waste of money, personally.

What do you think the benefits are that can only accrue from being in the system from day one? The curriculum was the main benefit for us at secondary level and this isn't a benefit at all at primary level as the vast majority of what a child will cover is the same at any reasonably OK school.

SausageinaBun · 29/07/2023 22:45

We allowed DD1 to choose, but were clear about the advantages of the two independent schools she applied for. She got into both and by that point was clearly choosing between them and the one state option didn't get a look-in. The one she chose is a great match for her. The stories her local friends have shared from the local state school have made her really happy with her choice and sadly made us realise that we probably won't give DD2 the choice.

fleurneige · 23/01/2024 14:43

Not one day that I don't thank our choice to send all 3 of our boys to the local State schools- despite most of our friends and colleagues sending them to Private ones. It taught them to be able to deal with anyone- and to organise their time and study. It has prepared them brilliantly for going to Uni and having very succesful high level professional careers.

tweedlledum · 23/01/2024 15:00

If she wants to go to the state let her go. If she decides she hates it you can take her out and go elsewhere, just hold off major spends until she has been to end of y8 I'd say.

DS had no desire at all to go to any of the state's near us and jumped at the chance to have smaller classes. It's important they have a sense of agency.

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