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Original poster

Moving school in year 2?

17 replies

Hellohello8 · 18/07/2023 23:02

Really unsure what to do. Ds wants to leave his current school, which he has only been at since April (he’s year 1 now). He has an offer for another school starting in September, and I need to make a decision asap.

The other school is an unknown, really. The current school is already the second school he’s been to! So I’m really concerned about moving him again (the first move was a house move).

He has friends where he is, but says his teacher isn’t that nice and that he doesn’t like “being told off”. This didn’t happen so much in the previous school, apparently.

The new school he’s been offered was our initial preferred choice when we moved to the area.

He’ll obviously have a different teacher in his current school September who might be nice! She’s new, so he hasn’t met her.

And the other school is another move and is unknown.

What should I do?

OP posts:

stardust40 · 18/07/2023 23:05

Hard one .... what do you feel about current school? Children not liking being told off is normal and I wouldn't move them because of that ..... I be asking the teacher why and then supporting them to help him improve his behaviour. If you like the school I'd leave him there. However, if you're not happy with the school then I'd move him. 3 moves by end of year one is a lot though!

Labraradabrador · 18/07/2023 23:11

You have said nothing about respective schools so impossible to advise. If he has only been in his current school a couple of months, then moving him shouldn’t be an issue as wouldn’t expect him to be fully settled / relationships won’t be very strong. On the other hand, why would the new school be better than his current or previous one?

Original poster

Hellohello8 · 18/07/2023 23:16

stardust40 · 18/07/2023 23:05

I think the current school seems nice and friendly!

He just says he doesn’t like his teacher as much as the teachers in his old school and I do know what he means. But he won’t have her in September anyway. If he stays in his current school, he’ll have a brand new teacher (as in, just qualified). Her bio (we got sent it in a email) makes her sound lovely.

He’s been unsettled there since the start, which is the problem I think. He was very happy at his old primary.

He has made friends and talks enthusiastically and at length about who he’s played with and what they’ve played, but keeps saying he wants to leave and has even told his current school he won’t be back in September!

I find it a really difficult decision to make because the new school is one I liked better before, but I’m so worried about all these school moves when he’s so little!

OP posts:

Original poster

Hellohello8 · 18/07/2023 23:20

The current school is a little further away, and has a bit less outdoor space than the possible one.

I liked the possible one better when we were moving because it’s really outdoorsy, the staff seemed happy when I looked around, and the grounds were bigger and generally nicer.

But the current school is also friendly - just a longer walk, and perhaps less emphasis on outdoor play etc. And perhaps a little stricter on behaviour - but that’s only from DS’s experience and I have no real idea what the other school will be like when it comes to strictness.

Results and demographic are largely the same. The possible school has a slightly better ofsted - it’s outstanding; but the current one is good with outstanding in some areas so that’s not much to choose on either!!

OP posts:

meditated · 18/07/2023 23:27

I'd move him. My main reasons would be

He wants to
It's closer
Outdoorsy is a big plus at that age

PuttingDownRoots · 18/07/2023 23:27

And if he decides he wants to move again in a few months?

His main problem seems to be a teacher who he will no longer have.

entitledparents · 18/07/2023 23:42

Tell him he can move but this is last time. He needs to learn to deal with adults he's nit that keen on

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/07/2023 23:46

Don't move him

He may not like next school and went to move again

New teacher may tell him off in new school

New year will have new teacher and maybe he needs to talk less /concentrate more etx - obv doing something that the teacher has to tell him off for

Have you asked current teacher what he is doing

Original poster

Hellohello8 · 18/07/2023 23:58

I think he’s hypersensitive to being told off. I haven’t spoken to his current teacher though.

Today he got told off for knocking over a water pot by accident. He really hates getting told off - in his last school, he couldn’t stand being in any kind of trouble for anything! So this is just an issue for him. He had a teacher who was genuinely fond of him before. This teacher seems completely indifferent, which is fine, but I think kids can tell!

But he won’t have her in September and who knows what either teacher at either school will be like?

Outdoorsy and closer and the fact that he wants to tempt me; but another change and the fact that another move would be unsettling friendship-wise make me pause!

OP posts:

Original poster

Hellohello8 · 18/07/2023 23:59

I can’t sleep for thinking about it all!!

OP posts:

meditated · 19/07/2023 06:22

Good luck - we've all been there worrying about one thing or another. It's not easy.

If he's sort of ok at this school, he'll prob sort of be ok in the other school too. But he could also absolutely love it. You don't know. There's some risk but you can move him back if it's really bad too.
I'd prob go ahead with it now rather than have thoughts about it again in a few months time.

Original poster

Hellohello8 · 19/07/2023 08:55

Thank you all - it’s so tricky isn’t it? Because he’s already moved once, I feel like I need certainty that I just can’t have!

Also worried that whichever one I choose, I’ll doubt myself down the line! But maybe that’s because I’m v tired and worried about the choice!

OP posts:

GaraMedouar · 19/07/2023 09:02

The new school is the the one you preferred before - more outdoorsy and closer.
how much closer ? That’s quite a big factor - especially when your DS can walk himself in yr5 or yr6?
As long as you say this is the last move then I don’t see a problem with him moving at such a young age . I moved my boys at yr4 and yr1 (ok was down to a house move not choice) and they settled in really quickly - the yr1 DS instantly ! Not a look back at all 😀

PuttingDownRoots · 19/07/2023 09:14

We regret moving DD in similar circumstances... we moved, DDs originally allocated different schools, we then won an appeal for DD1 to attend DD2s school. The second move really unsettled her. The school never felt right for her.

(Then we had Covid lockdowns, which made it worse. Ironically what solved the problem was another house move and another school move to where she knew it was permanent.)

Sanch1 · 19/07/2023 14:08

I wouldn't move him based on him wanting to for basically a non-reason. In my mind 6/7 year olds to not make that choice! If you're happy with the school keep him there. He needs to learn resilience and tat he can't just leave if things don't go his way.

OhCrumbsWhereNow · 20/07/2023 17:20

We did 3 moves in quick succession with DD...

Year in the nursery of a state primary that was run like reception with full days etc. CofE so no way we were getting a Reception place.

Month in Reception of the school we were allocated

Moved to our first choice Primary when a place suddenly came up

No regrets at all and she adapted very quickly - despite informing the HT when we went to look round that she "totally hated" the new school. Had a great 7 years there after that.

Now is ideal time to move - he wants to, new teacher, closer and he hasn't had time to cement friendships. Plus easier to start at the beginning of a year rather than mid way through.

Turquoiseturtle3 · 02/09/2023 20:55

Hi OP. Did you make your decision? I would be inclined to move if you wanted another opinion.

What‘a the plan for secondary school? Is he more likely to go with a cohort of kids from his current or potential school? Could be a consideration. My eldest is about to start secondary and our top choice practically no one is going. We are on a waiting list for it. And I feel not having a parental network is a massive downside. Don’t underestimate this. A previous poster has also made a v good point about ease of getting to school, especially when going by themselves.

Good luck with your decision - it’s not easy.

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