should i take my kids out of private

[wtg]

My DS is in the junior of a private selective school. Just finished year 4. I'm not that impressed - quite big class sizes, teaching not that great, a ton of extracurricular stuff but he's not sports mad so not sure he gets the most from it. Anyway, I wouldn't pay that much for sport.
But he's really happy. He has friends who will all go into the senior school.
I wish I'd never gone down this route tbh but now I feel trapped. Should I move him before secondary? Not sure what to do.
And of course I don't know what the state schools are really like, but we have a local outstanding secondary.
We can afford it. It's more whether it's worth it. And obviously it's going to go up a ton with the next government for no better quality.

Oh you're one of those parents.

Teaching not that great- how on earth would you know?

Just wait till your little darling goes to a state school and gets put in a class of 35 and the poor teacher is dealing with 3 kids who should have EHCPs but don't. Then you really won't be happy with the teaching

I get it. We moved our ds out of a private prep school where it was all a bit “meh” . But we didn’t go to state, we moved him to a smaller private senior school, he’s doing much better there.

When you say quite big classes, how big are we talking?

OP I suggest you go and look around the alternatives - both state and private - and get yourself familiar with them. The single most important thing, when choosing a school (if you're fortunate enough to get to choose), is to find the right one for your specific DC. There will be great schools out there that aren't right for your child. What do you think he needs to do well? Make a list of those things that you think are most important. And then go and look around schools with those things in mind.

My daughter is at the local 'outstanding' secondary school. They have over 30 to a class, substitute teachers for half the lessons and they are not familiar with the subject they are covering. She is in top set but has children from lower sets moved into the class in the hope they will have no one to misbehave with as the teachers have no additional support for children who need additional support.

I don’t think it is worth it. Especially not now you can get 5% in the bank if you just place the money there or in the DC’s ISA account. I think they will be more advantaged that way.

We do “state plus”. By that I mean kids all went to state schools but we checked they were covering curriculum and helped them, if not. We also have things like DuoLingo family plan so they do some languages. We paid the grammar so they could do a Latin course. We paid for high level orchestras and music lessons and 1 intensive sport for all (proper extra curricular is not cheap but still way cheaper than private school). I think they end up the same. We never needed to pay for tutors, but I think if you are prepared to do that some years, state is fine. Although there are teacher shortage issues all over especially in the state sector, there is no a thriving tutoring business. I reckon potentially kids can get together and share a tutor online.

Round here the junior bits of senior schools now have extortionate fees. Almost 20000 in some cases. Not worth it! Especially now that unis are not favourable to private schools DCs either. We have family members with DCs in private schools but that is because they are eg. Diplomats, expats etc, there is a reason for it.

Added to that I would say it depends on the parent group at the state schools. If they are very educationally driven and quite pushy/have good boundaries/discipline at home, it should be absolutely fine.

@AlwaysWantingIceLollies - I really wish the government would put online courses for all GCSE boards and A levels online so kids with gaps or teacher shortages could easily catch up, if need be. That would be much better and the tech is there now.

That’s the best advice.

We knew we needed a smaller school for ds, and one that had a strong drama department. We also looked for a wide variety of sports where all pupils get a chance, rather than just being known as “a rugby school” or “hockey school” where they only focus on the very talented players.

Whatever your choice, you need to be sure the move is worth risking your child's happiness. Local context, and the character traits of your DC, are unique to your family so no-one here can tell you what is for the best. Our primary options are great, but our state/non-grammar secondary options are not, unfortunately. I am frantically considering what options we have for secondary, so I do empathise with your current predicament.

You will need to do some digging around to be sure you understand the alternative schools within the local context. When you say 'teaching not that great', how do you objectively know it isn't? What is it about the current school that makes your child happy? Is your child likely to be resistant to the change? Do you have local friends/acquaintances that you could ask about alternative schools? From my own experience, it's hard to gauge a school without getting insight from other parents/kids who are there.

Not a clue. We opted for state plus private tutors and extra curricular activities. If you need to save £££ then I'd say move now, so that he settles into a state primary before secondary. However if finances aren't the issue then I'd be cautious of moving a happy child.

I was privately educated, but badly bullied, and this helped influence us for state. If I'd enjoyed the private school experience then I may have had a different view.

Both our children are happy at local primary. Oldest is starting secondary next year.

This.

The state school where my ds was offered a place (supposedly rated good) had to change MAT two years later because Ofsted said they had no idea who was on site, no idea what the 6th form were doing, and the younger pupils weren't safe.

Look very carefully at the alternatives before you move a happy child.

IME even outstanding state schools gave problems with low level disruption and a lack of decent teachers.

Is your DS bright? A class of even 20-22 fairly bright classmates in a selective school will mean that the lessons move along faster, are more stimulating, less disruption from kids with needs that are not being met due to rejected ECHPs etc. Are subjects taught by specialist teachers giving variety of teachers throughout the day plus the related enthusiasm/expertise? Do you have the time to ferry him around to replace the extra curricular they would want to do as it is unlikely to be provided at a state school? We moved from state to a selective private school and there is an enormous difference and our DS is thriving. However, if you don't want him to go to the linked secondary school then it might be better to move somewhere else sooner rather than him be the odd one out at the end of year 6.

I think I would be reluctant to move a really happy child. Have you spoken to the school about how you feel? Surely if you’re paying thousands and not getting what you expect you should speak to them. You wouldn’t pay that much for a service in any other part of your life and not complain.

I think the switch from private to state would be harder then the other way round.

Also agree with PP that it depends on what the state schools are like and your child.

For what it’s worth, mine are both at state schools one primary and one secondary and are both really happy. They do have some challenging behaviour at their schools but it’s dealt with well and not impacted either of my children really. The teaching is also good, no complaints.

You can afford it, you've chosen that route, he's happy there, I wouldn't fuck with that at this point just because you're wanting more bang for your buck. Move him at secondary when everyone's moving. No need to uproot him now.

I would start looking for secondary. Leave well alone now. Is this a through school? They have no need to prep for anything better. Lowish expectations can plague these schools. Scholarships don’t feature unlike other good preps that go to 13.

When we paid, we did expect the best. Otherwise, why bother. By now you should know how bright he is and you should either move to a 8-13 prep or stay put and start plotting your senior school strategy. A good prep would help. In a through prep, not sure you will get much help.

@JustanothermagicMonday1 it’s not officially there but easily done with lateral thinking. All syllabuses are publices by awarding bodies, all you need to do is search YouTube and you’ll find loads of great videos made by teachers covering almost every topic.