Preschooler has been offered a place at a private school that I love, but is happy at state nursery

[Starwarszzz]

Preschooler goes to a state school nursery. I quite like the school, but preschooler is very happy there. I applied for a space in September in case the private school I wanted didn’t work out, he has a place.

But he also has a place at a private school that I soon have to put down a deposit for.

What do I do? He wants to go to the school with the friends, but the private school is lovely. It’s something I’d always wanted to do for my children (I grew up not exactly poor, but went to a real sink school and my parents didn’t have spare money at the end of every month).

The private school is also really progressive and play based in the early years and just all the things that I wished for when researching a school.

The state school is “good” and seems nice enough in reception. The parents like it.

DC is adamant he wants to go to school with his friends.

I feel very torn about this. All similar threads say “never move a happy child”, but I’m sure he’ll be happier at this other school once he gets used to it! Or is this just something I want for him?!

I don’t want him to get to year 2/3 etc and be unhappy and then it’s too late, the space at the other school is gone and it’s all more of an upheaval.

The private school is also fairly local ( a bike ride away rather than a very short walk), and why we moved to the area, but he didn’t get a nursery space there - hence going to the state.

It depends on the individual schools but in your shoes I would stick with the State Primary and look at Private Secondary.
It’s what we did as we had a good State Primary but Secondary is awful. The dc joined the Private school in Y7 and fitted in well with no knowledge gap. In fact they had some advantages over their peers who had been there since age 3 or 4, they were much more streetwise and mature in general and had more understanding of the world outside their bubble.

He's 4 years old! Pick the school that you think will be best in the long run. Friendships are very volatile at this age and he has know concept of the choice you've put to him. You shouldn't have asked his opinion as its not a choice he can really understand at this age.

Never move a happy child doesn't apply for preschool. Almost all kids happy or not are making the transition to a new setting at this age.

I would send him to the state primary, giving him extra-curricular stuff as needed, and then send him to a private secondary unless your local secondary schools are very good in reality.

Most of my extended family have done it this way. There are a few who have done private all the way through or private primary then state secondary. The main reason for the latter is due to how some of the private all the way through have turned out as adults.

He's 4. His opinion is not based on life experience. He can easily adapt at this age.