Shall I move him back to his previous school? Eltham College to X school?

[Asdfqwerzxcvpoiulkjhmnbv]

Hi there,

My sons was in mixed independent school. The school is so close to our place and DC1 is still there. They were both happy in that school, but, recently (dont want to say exactly when) my DC2 had an offer from Eltham College and joined there. And at moment DC2 keep complaining that he doesn’t like to travel far away with school bus and he says he missed his old friends (almost %85 his friend stayed in his previous school which his older brother attending currently). He used to do playdates because his previous school friends was local. At the moment his friends doesn’t live close to us so they cant meet that often.
Other day we went his previous school to pick up his older brother and when he saw his old friends he felt so sad (they were in the same school since nursery). He actually has got friends in his current school but he says that they are not so close and he doesn’t have any best friends..
We moved him to Eltham College just because Eltham College’s A level results was better than his current school but I actually realised that my DC1 school does more test/assessments during the year.
Also Eltham College has big green grounds and facilities are great too so I was thinking its has advantages but actually he doesn’t enjoy it all. He doenst want to attend any after school club because he says he doesnt want to travel by school bus afternoon otherwise he gets so tired when he come home and cant focus on his homeworks.
He also says he doesnt like to go to chapel every week - we are not Christians but I dont think that a big deal.
I like both schools but we are paying a lot more for him to go to Eltham College (Eltham Colleges school fee higher and we need to use school bus which is additional cost).
This all happened I think because he saw his older brother going still his previous school - walking with friends to school, local friends so more playdates and he doesnt need to catch or wait the school bus every day/mornimg/afternoon etc…
What would you do? Please I need advice.

What school is he in?

@cocksstrideintheevening hi,
its mixed school in SE London - dont want to mention the school name but I think its not too hard to guess the options ☺️ xxx

1. your DC was happy in his school
2. he going to same school with his older brother
3. School was local
4. and you was paying less

May I learn what was the reason for moving him?

If I am right his previous school was Colfe’s or St Dunstan’s? - both of these schools has similar grades with EC! The difference is, EC is more selective.

Sorry but I don’t understand why you even consider to move him!

In addition… one of my friends daughter was in one of GDST girls school and than she had to move to Eltham College because she has a brother in Eltham College Seniors and still my friend said her daughter was more confident and she was much more happier in her previous school.

:|

I don’t understand your post. Eltham college is a mixed school. No one can give you advice unless you mention the old school.

This is bonkers! just move him back to his old school. He was happy and thriving and no doubt doing well academically. Eltham is hardly AMAZING is it? nor is it a shoo-in for Oxbridge any of the things people covet in a private school. Green fields, facilities etc that your ds doesn't use and it's more expensive and further away from home. You're paying for him to be unhappy! There's no point to it at all.

Having a long journey and no best friends is horrid.

Move him back 100000000%

Yes Eltham College is mixed - but currently there are 6 girls and 16-18 boys in each classroom in year 7-year 9 but year 10 and 11 are all boys - So currently boys are heavier in school - He didn’t like that either. But it will be fully coed after 2 years

Very simple
Move him back.
He wont get good results if unhappy

@Asdfqwerzxcvpoiulkjhmnbv but his classroom will stay exactly same ratio until Year 11 !

I sometimes believe some parents just take that kind of risk and change their kids school to be able to say others:
“My daughter/son is going to ………… school” !

Meanwhile if he was in Colfe’s it wasnt so sensible to move him to EC for the GCSE results. Colfes results was much better than EC last year. Also I think EC results will fall down - I know 2 girls who were in waiting list in juniors for 7+ entry and they both got a place - they are both average. EC also try to give huge amount of scholorship to girls after 11+ to make them accept the offer.

And if he was in St Dunstans poor boy - its a long journey for him to do twice a day! Catford -Lewisham traffic is horrible especially in the morning!

Why did you move him at all?

@unfortunateevents I was thinking EC is a academically better than his previous school 🤷🏻‍♀️

Move him back. No brainer.

@GuySanderson Guy Sanderson?

On what basis is it better? Several people with knowledge of other local schools seem to be debunking that idea. Also, I assume the son has several years in school still, things can change in just a couple of years. Are you going to move him back again if his previous school improves its A level results this year and next? And what about your older son? If Eltham College has better results, why have you not moved him too?

@unfortunateevents DC1 is just one year older than DD2 and he didnt even want to try 11+ assesment for Eltham because he wanted be in fully coed school. But DC2 didn’t care about that in the beginning

@Asdfqwerzxcvpoiulkjhmnbv we all want to give our kids the best opportunity. My DS2 school hey fabulous results - but it is academically selective with a very bright cohort. My DS is in probably in the middle lower of the cohort and may have been better off in another less selective school where he will have more confidence. Facilities and opportunities are great if your DC makes use of it. It doesn't sound like this is what's happening.
Move him back if it's an option. There is something to be said for lifelong friendships during school years they will remember forever

@GuySanderson was that actually the EC head or just someone spoofing him??

🤷🏻‍♀️

If he has just joined, he hasn’t been there long. However, if he was happy at his previous school, and it was local, with good friends nearby, I would probably move him back. Has he kept up the friendships with his old friends? If he has, then it would hopefully be easy to settle back in. Since his brother is happy in the original school, and it is local to you, I think it will be hard for him to settle unless there is an exceptional reason to be there. It really doesn’t sound like there is. I would move him back. I would make sure he spends time with his old friends over the summer, and then he would slip straight in.

I would also suck up the fees in lieu of notice and get him in for September.

And don’t listen to those who are having a go about having moved him in the first place. We are all trying to do what is best for our kids, and you thought EC would be right. But if his old school was, hopefully you have an easy fix! Good luck!

@Helpmetounderstand thank you 🙏🏻🌸