Foreign school, international school or U.K. boarding?!

[greenpalmtrees]

I'm in the middle of preparing my dc for 11+ exams and have been hyper focussed on getting them through them all year. We are looking mainly at independent schools but also a couple of grammars.

Dh now wants to move abroad with his work. He said he's ok with dc attending either a very non academic international school or going to local school without speaking the language as they'll learn it quick enough(!)

I'm trying to weigh up what to do. I would love to move to the country that's on offer but I am scared dc will hate us if we put them in a foreign school. The alternative is to board them at the U.K. schools we're looking at. Something dc is keen on but I am terrified ! Dc flexi boards at prep now but that's not the same. Dc is all academic though and I worry I will hold them back in an international school.
Anyone been in a similar situation having to choose between work/schools/international schools etc?! Dc is going into year 6 in September.

I would say you can go until year 9 and consider moving back if the schools don't meet your expectations.

I wouldn't rule out the local school if it is good. I don't know if this would be an option in your case (or what the rules are in France) but a few years ago I was living abroad and learning the local language at a language school. There were two kids in my class, siblings from Albania aged 11 and 15, whose dad had moved to this country for work, and they were spending one year in language school learning the local tongue before going to a local school.

I think you need to work backwards and also factor in age of younger DC (if relevant)
Also, is your DC an EU passport holder or have some other right to study in France or are they totally dependent on your DH being there?
Will your DC go to Uni in the U.K.? If so, you need them to take GCSEs in the U.K. to avoid paying international Uni fees
If they're going to be doing GCSEs in the U.K., they need to be back for beginning of Yr10 but Yr9 is preferable.
Could you do Yr6 at their current school, 7&8 in France and then have them board at a U.K. school for Yr9 onwards?
If they board in the U.K., will they be able to travel to France at weekends or just holidays & exeats? Will you be keeping a home in the U.K. and have them "home" to that if they can't travel to France.

I’ve lived and worked in France and have a good level of French and a strong understanding of the culture. French schooling is very very different to English schooling and I think you child would struggle joining in year 6 unless they, and you, already speak good French. And would then struggle to move back into uk schooling.

If dc is keen to board, and has already flexiboarded successfully, then in your position I would probably stay in the uk for a couple of years. Could dh negotiate some wfh so that he can do one week in France, one week in uk or something? And dc sometimes board for a week so that you can go out to France with him?

Having worked in a French high school a few years ago it would be very difficult to settle a non French child in the system I think unless they spoke very good French. Pastoral care etc is not a strength. Class sizes larger than the UK. Bit sink or swim. Plenty sink.

I have friends who moved permanently to France.
Son was 12
dd was 10.

Mum was French so both kids were nominally bilingual.
I say nominally because they could chat away perfectly to mum and french relatives, but there was a whole sweep of vocab that they didn't have, eg all the words we use in school maths and science.

Their dd coped. She picked up the gap in her French pretty quickly before secondary school.
It was awful for the ds. He was so badly thrown in the deep end. I am not sure that he will ever forgive his parents.

I work with families who move countries. Before they moved I made some suggestions to them, eg about how to support language (remember these kids spoke good French). They thought I was exaggerating the difficulties and ignored all the advice. 'Kids are resilient' 'kids learn the language easily'
To their son's detriment.

If you seriously plan to use local schools, then take 6 months out of the school system and instead do intensive languaage school. It will be extrememly difficult to find for a child, but if you could do that, then she would have some chance when she goes into school.

But it will be very tough and she will need loads of support.

I have got a French tutor now for dc. They are learning French weekly but they only know basic commands and vocab so I think I agree, sending them to French school would not be in their best interests. I only have one dc so at least that bit is easier!

I think I will definitely stay here with dc for year 6 & dh can move. Dh is able to wfh mostly so can dart between the two countries easily but needs to stay in France for tax residency and visa purposes. None of us are eu passport holders which is rubbish, thanks brexit.

Plan is keep house here, rent in France and once all schooling is done move to France permanently.

Agree with above posters who advise against local schools at this age and with no French (a tutor will barely touch the tip of the iceberg) and inherent langage acquisition skills have already started to drop away by 10ish so it would deffo be a struggle.

If your DH commutes watch out for being hit twice for tax and or social security. It’s not just about the number of days he’s in one place or another, but also his “centre of vital interest” and with you and DC still in the UK it’s possible he’d be seen as UK tax resident still but as basing himself living and working in France he could also be tax resident there too. There is a double tax treaty but still worth getting your DH’s employer to help you understand what’s what.

If your son would like to board and you have friends or relations available for exeats and emergencies, boarding would be the answer. It would be easier to start boarding full time in a familiar school with all your friends for years 7 & 8. During year 6, he could board for longer stretches. French state schools are very rigid, and it would be hard to start over in that system.

I work with families who move countries. Before they moved I made some suggestions to them, eg about how to support language (remember these kids spoke good French). They thought I was exaggerating the difficulties and ignored all the advice. 'Kids are resilient' 'kids learn the language easily'
To their son's detriment.

Oh gosh, this. I am a permanent resident in a non-English-speaking country, and it drives me mad when parents dump non-local-language-speaking adolescents in the local schools in this way ("Kids are like sponges!" "They're resilient, they'll cope!"). It almost never works out and causes a lot of stress and unhappiness, and sometimes long-term resentment; it also burdens the school system and takes teacher time away from other kids who need help.

Even switching at younger ages (10 or under) needs to be considered carefully - parents need to be prepared to support their child thoroughly in the new language, AND keep up English at home. It can be worth it, but it's extra work and not for every family. And 10/11-ish is pretty much the latest age for making it work, IMO.

After that age, better to stick with English school while putting them in French classes and French-language extra curricular, so that they can forge their own path to bilingualism in their own way, without putting their general education at risk and suffering enormous stress at the same time.

I think I will definitely stay here with dc for year 6 & dh can move.

I think that might be ideal for a year or two. Your DC can then be involved in decisions about boarding, IS, and other options.

few practical things.

1. when I say do French for 6 months, it means immersive French 3-4 hours per day in a language school.
2. going to school in the UK when resident abroad does not qualify you for university status. The rules specifically exclude kids who are only here for schooling.
3. you can however say that you are 'ordinarily resident' in the UK and only overseas on a temporary contract, even if that has lasted for 10 years, if you are planning eventually to return to UK. It is not easy to prove though and there are no guarantees.
4. boarding in a familiar school is easier than a new school, but the research shows that younger children don't do so well in boarding school. I would wait until secondary.
5. boarding as a teenager can be amazing, but if it doesn't work for your dc, you need a back up plan. Boarding isn't for everyone, and you need to recognise now that once they are boarding you will only ever see them in holidays. It is a totally new family dynamic.

Thank you for the advice especially with regards to being resident in U.K. vs France.
There are a lot of good universities in Europe that have English speaking courses. I'm thinking dc can go to one of those if we end up living in France in the long term we'd apply for long term residency and passport hopefully.

And tbh by the time you've been to independent schools in U.K. we may as well be a 'foreigner' applying to the good universities as they aren't necessarily so positive about privately educated dc atm anyway. I know ut is more £££ though.

I have a 20 year old and an 18 year old.

Really there is no difference in uni applications between independent and state for for unis. Most (not all) but most only look at predicted grades, not the personal statement of school.

The difference being an overseas student is about £20,000 per year (can be more)

If you are dependant on English course in Europe, it is a much more limited choice, so if your dc is academic or wanting to go down specific routes (eg medicine) they may not be able to.