Foreign school, international school or U.K. boarding?!

[greenpalmtrees]

I'm in the middle of preparing my dc for 11+ exams and have been hyper focussed on getting them through them all year. We are looking mainly at independent schools but also a couple of grammars.

Dh now wants to move abroad with his work. He said he's ok with dc attending either a very non academic international school or going to local school without speaking the language as they'll learn it quick enough(!)

I'm trying to weigh up what to do. I would love to move to the country that's on offer but I am scared dc will hate us if we put them in a foreign school. The alternative is to board them at the U.K. schools we're looking at. Something dc is keen on but I am terrified ! Dc flexi boards at prep now but that's not the same. Dc is all academic though and I worry I will hold them back in an international school.
Anyone been in a similar situation having to choose between work/schools/international schools etc?! Dc is going into year 6 in September.

I moved to be with DD in Year6 and my DH commuted every weekend. But it was possible to commute. I thought that 10 was too small.

@Possiblynotever this is also something we have said is possible. It's an eu country, so doable. Did that work for you?

DS was at an international school until year 6 and we then moved back to uk for schooling. So I have some experience of international schools.

It really depends on where you are going and the school to some extent.

I wouldn’t do the foreign school option as that would potentially be very difficult for your DC.

As they are going into year 6 I think I would go down the international school route for a couple of years. If they are academic anyway they will more than likely do well wherever. And I knew of some DCs who had tutors while at international schools to apply to uk schools so that’s an option too.

Which country?

if you’re planning to come back - intl school

Will his company cover school fees - that makes a huge difference as they cost A BOMB.

You learn in the language you know. Year 6 in a new language? Not sure if I would do that

My kids are in an highly regarded intl school and I am not v impressed. I’m returning to the UK with them back to their old school in Sept.

France. Not Paris though. All the int schools I've looked at do not inspire me, especially after looking at some great U.K. schools. Dh company will pay fees on int school but I'm just not keen because the reviews on the schools don't seem very positive. Would rather pay U.K. feed myself.
Also does anyone know how igcse are regarded now?

I am almost 100% sure we won't do the local French school as seems too cruel.

Would be our choice to stay as long as we want I would stay for school years 7-11 minimum to get gcse out the way whatever happens to allow for more stability.

Dh has been at company a long time and will be fine unless other unpredictable forces come into play. Our plan is to stay out there for good but will have a house in U.K.

Why not do international school (or DH commuting weekly) for years 6-8 and boarding from year 9?

You probably would need a tutor for Common Entrance, but it gives you some time — boarding full time from 10 is young.

@PolkadotsAndMoonbeams I think this may be what we need to do. Or stay at current prep school through to year 8 while dh stays in France and me and dc going back and forth in their long holidays as it's not too far to travel.

In a similar circumstance - we turned down the job opportunity. (It was for me not for dh.)

Part of the reason was the impact on dh’s career - we have each been willing (and have taken) a small step back to enable the other to take a big step forward but here his “step back” felt too big for the size of my step forward.

I was completely unwilling to live in a different country to the kids - Covid was very recent when we were discussing it. But I think I am still at that point now. The risk of being unable to travel seemed bigger than I was willing to risk.

And the kids were happy and settled where they were with dd in a competitive squad for a sport that we weren’t sure we would be able to get elsewhere.

Basically - it seemed like everyone else would be worse off for me to take a job I vaguely fancied.

Yes sorry, I didn't write that very well. (a) International school for Y6-8, probably with a tutor, or (b) you and DS stay in the UK with DH either commuting weekly or a mix of visits both ways.

I think him staying at his own familiar prep is a good idea. Presumably he'd be able to try boarding a bit longer as he gets older, so you'd know that it would work from Y9.

His French would probably improve very quickly if you moved to France though, so there are benefits to that as well, plus living in a different culture.

Bear in mind the whole uni application process and you need to be resident in the U.K. for 3 years or have links to the U.K. to get home fees etc, it's really complicated post brexit. If you post in the Higher Education section someone will explain.

I would definitely go for the boarding option if DC is keen. The other two options are unfair on them- 11 is a bit too late for throwing them in at the deep end and going to a non-academic school will restrict their options in future.

(Actually I'd put the whole thing off for a few years and do it when they are at uni, but obviously that might not be an option.)

both my children attended schools overseas: local in Europe and then international in China. Local school worked well as my son started kindergarten at age 3. Ds took igcses in China and then the IB diploma. He received offers from all five of his university choices so igcse v gcse didn’t appear to be an issue. To be honest I wasn’t happy with some of the teaching at the international school and did keep a close eye on quality of work, marking and feedback.

A lot of independent schools in the UK do igcses as standard for some subjects. It’s not an issue at all.

I went to an international school (in Israel) for 2 years as a teen when my parents had to move for work. I absolutely LOVED it. It was the beat school I have ever been to (and I moved schools a lot as a child). I was very academic and being in a more relaxed international school didn't hinder my academic progress at all.

What does you daughter want to do? Unless she really wants to board and is very confident about it, surely you stay in the UK with her and DH moves abroad alone? If somebody has to live away from their family then it should be the adult who's actively chosen it, not the child who hasn't

Sorry, realise I've made the assumption it's a girl when you haven't said so - mixed your OP up with another post! Apologies.

I teach in an international school. We are very used to kids only staying a couple of years and then moving on. The academic level is high and we also have a challenge programme which most half decent schools should have too.

Also meant to add, my own children started local school where we live (not UK) and learnt the language and are now fully bilingual. They were much younger than 11 though.

My kids are in international school and my youngest is the same age as your child. A few questions - when is grammar selection in the French system? If it’s fairly soon you might want to go for international school to ensure their poor French doesn’t mean their academic ability is underestimated.

How long are you there for? If it’s likely to be for good / a decade, it might be better to go local. Your kids will become bilingual and could be on the path to citizenship eventually. They would avoid becoming third culture kids and would have a social circle locally.

secondary is a difficult age to move.
I would not put them in a local language school unless they already have a good level of French. Even then it would be tough.

International can be amazing, a lot depends on the school and the size, turnover of staff etc.
You need to look carfeully at which exams they use, it is using a UK curriculuim and igcse or is it using an American curriculum. (much harder to transfer back)

Boarding is a good option, but in general I would recommend it from about 13/14 and not from 11. If you do board, make sure there is someone in Uk who can do stuff with them, eg take them out at the weekend occasionally, and be there in an emergency.

But experiencing living overseas even if at boarding school during term time, is a great thing for kids of all ages. It opens them up to a different way of looking at the world, gives them a sense of the world outside our borders. Not a bad thing at all.

Thanks these replies are so helpful. Yes it is a difficult age to move. Dc is happy to board here and has friends with brothers and sisters who board and who will themselves be boarding from 11 in year 7 but I'm not overly happy with that. I think I will keep them here until end of year 6 while dh moves now and seriously consider international schools closer to home in France. I don't want them to fall behind at school but also don't want our family split up permanently. I'd like to make it work though as it would end hopefully in a better quality of life for all of us (hopefully)!

I imagine dc would be able to go to European universities if we live there long enough but not overly worried about not being a local for the fees here. I want to make it a permanent move but don't want to ruin dc life!

We spent 4 years in France but our kids were younger. Eldest went to British school, younger two we tried local schooling with international lycée so they had some lessons in English.

In my experience, and that if many friends, it's very difficult for a child to do that kind of immersion in the French schooling system if at least one parent is not a native speaker. Many international parents ended up pulling kids out and heading to international schools.

It did not work out for our kids and in any case we ended back in the UK after they'd been in the system 2 years.

Also, be aware French state school is very different to UK schools and not great with pastoral care and neurodiversity. Although I appreciate that that may be specific to the schools we had experience of and may also have changed in the 10 years since we left.

@TalkedTooMuchStayedTooLong I think the French system has not changed from what I've read!
I don't think it dh realises the uphill struggle it would be to start a school at this age in a language they're unfamiliar with either. I'm thinking to forget about French local schools unless someone wiser than me persuades me it is worth it.

You can get a year 9 boarding place in a U.K. independent school in Year 6, live in France for two years and attend an international School or French bilingual school for years 7&8 and then he could return for Year 9 to board? At that point hopefully having picked up some French which will be an asset for life? French people are generally quite academically driven so I would try and find a bilingual school.

There are also state grammar boarding options eg Cranbrook. I have friends who sent their DC there and seemed perfectly happy with the school.