Schools with fees £35k pa are they worth it?!

[tartanlines]

That's it really, are they really worth that?! My dc wants to go to one sigh...

Absolutely not in my opinion. My DS attends one where the fees are now just under £50,000pa, it's absolutely not worth it. In fact I would say the pastoral care and teaching is far below what my bothers and sisters children have received in a good comprehensive and Grammar school. Almost everyone is tutoring during the holidays ( it's a boarding school). We are almost at the end as DS is sitting A levels but I wouldn't do it again.

Looking forward to the day when we won't have to listen to the headmaster and his bluster any longer.

I think it depends on what else you would do with the money. If you are wealthy, and the money would only go towards nicer vacations, cars and luxury handbags, then maybe yes if it is a good school. if it means going into debt, putting yourself in a stressful situation financially or majorly compromises family quality of life then probably not.

Not all private schools are automatically great, but some are truly excellent. Also depends on your child, as I think some benefit more than others.

No one can tell you really as pp have said it's entirely dependent on your own financial situation and also what you hope to get out of the school that your couldn't get in your local school.

It depends what you want from the education.

If you can comfortably afford it and you have found a school that you believe will be good for your child then why not?

If you can afford it but it's tight and the other options are poor quality schools, it's probably worth it.

If your local state schools and other private schools are good, then what is £35k a year offering?

We're not looking at state schools so only comparing various PS.

They are at a prep now that seems to be attempting to catch up to these fees and I'm feeling like it's not worth it at all and don't want to feel this again. Dc is happy though.

Fees won't leave us destitute but I wouldn't mind saving ££ where possible!

Thanks @Barharbour I have a similar feeling with our prep and just don't want to go down this route again

@tartanlines We left our prep which was mediocre at best for a big name school, it wasn't worth it in any way for our family. It's a very difficult system to get out of especially when the entry is in year 9.I wish we had made different choices but it's done now.

Also, it's very difficult to raise an issue as it affects DS's life at school and their reference afterwards. Our school looks after the big donors and parents who are seen as "valuable' to the school ,the others are just there to pay the fees.

No, unless you need boarding for some reason.

@Barharbour this is true for our prep too. Looks like we'll be 'mere fee payers' yet again... Thank you for your advice. @Damnspot care to elaborate?

@Labraradabrador I seem to have missed the truly excellent schools. They all seem much of a much other than having shiny facilities and if our prep is anything to go by, aren't always used as much as you might imagine. Of course we've done all the huge PR open days but now looking to unpick the reality.

We have the option to look outside the U.K. too so ideally don't want to head down a route of paying out for less of an education than I imagined dc would get.

My one regret when looking back at my dcs' education was paying private fees during junior/prep school. But I suspect it also depends on what your local catchment area schools are like - we are lucky enough that both junior and senior there are lots of good options (so, with hindsight, the local junior state options would have been great but I didn't even consider them because I was privately educated and still had the 'fear of State Schools and the children in them'!!).

Absolutely not worth it. We spent a fortune on DD’s prep and boarding schools and, looking back, teaching was on a par with my nephew’s at a London state primary and then a state comp. My nephew got to Cambridge Uni, DD is at Nottingham Uni. Nephew loved his school and joined local sports clubs as school facilities weren’t great so made tonnes of friends. DD knows no one at home as she boarded. I was a snob about private schools as I went to a top one too - utter waste of hundreds of thousands of pounds in our case!

@Newnameisnewagain thanks this is helpful. When I'm looking further afield than the U.K. I can pay so much less in fees and these schools still actually teach the dc instead of using parents/tutors as backups for shoddy teaching.

We're already well into 6 figures on prep fees and although some parts of the school have really been worth it, the academics really are achieved with tutors outside so far and when speaking to other parents there's definitely a recurring theme here even for the brightest pupils.

Don't want to outlay more money and still have to pay for tutors etc. tired of it all. Dc likes this school but who wouldn't on a fabulous open day when people treat you like king for the day!! Can also move somewhere with a warmer climate and the selfish temptation to move is definitely there too...

This absolutely - there was always a 'secret' symbol on parents' name tags at concert etc evenings if they were donors and they would all be surrounded by teachers/the head etc etc at all times (and somehow their children often seemed to get the plum parts in plays, get 'picked' out of hats, prizes etc etc).

It depends on the school and the dc.

My ds is at a much less expensive independent. He's a maths head and hated state primary. He was bored stupid. His current school sets work at his level and he's happy.

Choose the school based on your child's needs, because that's all that really matters.

I really can’t relate to these negative descriptions of all private schools. My DD and DS both went to academic independent day schools in London. I was very aware of the fees and chose ones that were more reasonable, ie. not St Paul’s etc.

Inwas never aware of some families getting preferential treatment. Both my DCs were happy, did very well academically, played in sports teams and both got into Cambridge. They are now both thriving in well paid jobs.

They may have done all of these things at a state school, but we are satisfied with what we got.

I teach in a prep that leads on to a few large name public schools in thie price category for most. Even the prep fees are eye watering now.

For some of our parents and some of our children I would say it's absolutely worth it. But for others I do sometimes wonder why they are doing it.

Examples of where it is worth it:
*Parents who have so much money that the fees aren't a big deal.
*Children who are talented all rounders who get a lot out of all the facilities and events on offer - they take part in the huge budget school productions, they are on the top sports teams,on the squad for minority sports like tennis, swimming and athletics, play musical instruments and join the orchestra/choir/other groups, they get use out of the amazing Art and DT suites beyond just curriculum lessons.
*Children who are exceptionally academic and access very small, scholarship classes that push them way beyond their age group both vertically and horizontally.
*Parents who have to work very long hours and/or commute long distance and who need very long wraparound care or flexi boarding.
*Children who have mild additional needs that wouldn't get them any extra time or attention in large state schools but does in small classes where parents can pay for Ed psych reports and easily get them bespoke exam access arrangements.
*Children who are 'quirky'/just different from the majority and perhaps less likely to find friends in some state schools.

Examples of where it isn't worth it:
*Parents who are making huge sacrifices to pay the fees.
*Children who just want to go to school, do their lessons and come home again - they aren't disruptive, they don't have learning needs but they just aren't lovers of school, don't have particular areas of talent/interest that schools cover and don't want to take part in extra curricular activities.
*Children with really significant additional needs - often I think they are just put under added stress moving around to specialist teachers for every subject, having endless 'one off' activities disrupting their day and having such long days with homework on top. It can be too much and they would be better off in one primary school classroom with one or two 'safe' known adults who know them really well.
*Parents who think a particular school can make their child into something they are not and will never be (and often don't even want to be!)
*Children who are naturally conscientious, academic and independent learners and who have any additional interests well catered for outside school.

Oh, I have no love for the British approach to education- if I could send mine back to the US to attend the very average (by US standards) suburban state school my nephews attended I would in a heartbeat as the whole structure, quality of teaching, ethos, etc. is so much better than what I see in the UK either private or state sector. Unfortunately we are tied to the UK at the moment, but I would love for them to go to the US for university.

so left with options in the UK I do see a chasm between our current indie and the state options we briefly experienced. We are quite happy with the current prep on balance , as it is a bit less traditional British. Very little tutoring as far as I know, the teachers have all been great, and obvs the facilities and amenities are fab.

*Children who are exceptionally academic and access very small, scholarship classes that push them way beyond their age group both vertically and horizontally.;

My DS was in one of these classes and went on to a 'top' boys boarding school .He also played an instrument in the orchestra,sang and acted in plays. All of this can be done at any school. This teaching was very patchy and turnover high. They also had a few teachers who should have left profession years ago ,if indeed they should ever have been teaching in the first place. There was a couple of older teachers who were very unpleasant and should not be working with children.

Once they get an offer for senior school in year 6 to start in year 9 you are tied in. Looking back it's almost like you join a cult.There is nothing about his senior school which is worth £50,000 pa, no matter what a families finances look like.The things that were covered up were pretty shocking, I did envy the open environment family and friends experienced in the state system. Our school is expert at covering up until decades have passed. As a family we will just have to smile along in a few weeks when he leaves after exams, I am so disappointed in my choice as a parent.

We only have a short time to go but I saw this question from the OP this morning and felt I should answer.

@Labraradabrador I'm glad you've found a good school. Hopefully I will manage to. I researched schools in the US as can potentially move there and the area I looked at had sooooo many options for schooling. I wish we had that here. I suppose there's possibly less of a market for so many types of school.

Thanks @Barharbour that's just it isn't it. We can afford it. But I'm not one to enjoy throwing money down the drain for the sake of it.

Thoroughly disappointed in the prep and don't want to go through it all again. There is a lot on offer at current school and dc takes part but nowhere near what we pay for. And certainly no 'extra' spark that makes it worth it so for even more, I'm worried.
I do appreciate your opinion because people struggle to be open to others about wasting so much money. It's tough to come to terms with and as you say, it's our decision and one does feel a little bit daft it ever got to this!

I think dc may have to learn to love a different school.

@tartanlines where are you based?

our kids are in an international day school in London and it’s great.

Reasonable fees for primary (£10k a year) and takes the curriculum of their original system and combines with best of British approach. Both kids now billigual. High standards but not hot House / pushy they way some London preps are.

good at pastoral and social care. They cater to international families so 5 or 6 kids per class leave and arrive each year. So they are good at helping kids settle, intervening in unhealthy dynamics (if prompted).

my quiet sensitive kids would find London preps too demanding and competitive. And the very socially mixed state schools too stressful. Our kids are happy and thriving.

Many state schools are very good these days.

I do wonder what it must be like to be the child where your parents are paying so much £££££ for your schooling.

@Cloudburstings that sounds wonderful but my dc is not bilingual and we are looking at secondary schools so perhaps that won't work. That sounds so wonderful though!

@BumpyaDaisyevna my dc is happy at school so for that I am grateful but me, not so much as I can see the flaws! Dc just sees less work as extra play time etc.