Mixed Grammar for secondary

[YellowRoseinMay]

I am undecided as to whether or not we have done the right thing. DD passed her 11 plus and has a place at a mixed grammar approx a 45 minute journey away by bus (I will take her on my non working days)
However all of her friends have accepted places at our nearest all girls comp, which has good results and is local. DD has gone from being over the moon at passing her 11 plus to now saying when she saw her friends over half term they were all talking about how great the all girls was and how sad she is she isn’t going. We were so proud when she got her grammar place , she loved it at open day and is excited about all the subjects they offer but I must admit I am now having doubts that all girls may fit her better and be an easier transition . Don’t know whether or not I need to try and get her on a waiting list for it . Argh .
Is it usual to be having these wobbles ?! I don’t think she’s going to know anyone going at the moment, there is an induction day in July so we are hoping she meets people then.

@YellowRoseinMay let her try grammar school first - if she finds the journey hard and/or prefers the local girls only school she can always go to waiting list for that one x

It wasn't the same dilemma, but DD goes to a girls grammar which is 45 min away (walk, train, walk) whereas the decent girls comp (where nearly all the girls from her primary went, including all her close friends) is 15 mins walk, as is a decent mixed comp. It was her choice and the right one for her, which I certainly wasn't convinced about at the time as she's not very confident and would know only a handful of people (none of them close friends). One negative is that her school friends live quite spread out so it's much harder for them to meet up outside school - and certainly in the earlier years involved us having to take her if they were meeting up, whereas if she'd gone to the local school they would nearly all have lived within walking distance. But for her, it was definitely the right choice - forced her to be more confident and she works hard so does well. Having said that, I expect she'd have been fine at the local one too.

I think the wobbles are very normal for this stage.

I remember this time last year when school places were announced for DD's class, new 'factions' quickly formed between groups going to the same secondary school - it got a bit tense in their Y6 class for a while. Fortunately for our DD, although she was the only one from her class going to a particular grammar, her other friends were split between different schools as well, so no one person felt left out.

Grammars are used to welcoming students who are the only one from lots of different schools, so they will help your DD to settle in. Also, the uncomfortable transition period is pretty short, compared with the 5 or 7 years at what is hopefully the right school for her.

Also, if her friends are good friends, they will stay friends even at different schools - my DD still sees her two best friends from primary frequently, and messages them daily. It is also nice to have separate friendship groups, as if there is a 'wobble' at school, she will have her other friends to turn to.

Remember why you/she chose the grammar to start with. Nothing has changed. Hang on in there.