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Original poster

My child wants to drop out of school. What do I do?

26 replies

annabelleellis226 · 27/03/2023 11:45

Angry Mad GIF by Pokémon

Recently my child has expressed his want to drop out of school. As you can probably figure I am not too happy about his decision. The question is, do I try and make him stay in education, let him do what he wants, or make him do more chores in the house and for his extended family.

OP posts:
redskylight · 27/03/2023 11:45

How old are they? What are they currently doing and why do they want to drop out?

Original poster
annabelleellis226 · 27/03/2023 11:50

redskylight · 27/03/2023 11:45

How old are they? What are they currently doing and why do they want to drop out?

He's currently 17, in his first year of sixth form. He just doesn't like education all in all, not even thinking of transferring to college. I would have let him if he expressed a want to work, but nothing.

OP posts:
TeenDivided · 27/03/2023 11:50

Just dropping out isn't an option.
Work, apprenticeship, restarting y12 on a different course.

e.g. 'You can drop out, but you need to find work first and pay me min whatever we lose in child benefit as rent'.

Original poster
annabelleellis226 · 27/03/2023 11:52

TeenDivided · 27/03/2023 11:50

Just dropping out isn't an option.
Work, apprenticeship, restarting y12 on a different course.

e.g. 'You can drop out, but you need to find work first and pay me min whatever we lose in child benefit as rent'.

That's exactly what I am thinking. The issue I have been imposed with, however, is that he has not expressed that he wants to do anything to make up for it, like work or transfer to college etc.

OP posts:
whattodo1975 · 27/03/2023 11:58

He wants to stop going to 6th form so he can dedicate himself full time to sitting on his arse I imagine.

Original poster
annabelleellis226 · 27/03/2023 11:59

whattodo1975 · 27/03/2023 11:58

He wants to stop going to 6th form so he can dedicate himself full time to sitting on his arse I imagine.

Exactly! I wouldn't have a problem if he wanted to do something else with his time, but so far it doesn't look like he wants to use his time smartly.

OP posts:
redskylight · 27/03/2023 12:02

Well, he needs to find something else he wants to do.
In the meantime he keeps going to sixth form.

If he drops out regardless, stop giving him money or doing anything for him other than the basics of putting a roof over his head.

Original poster
annabelleellis226 · 27/03/2023 12:04

redskylight · 27/03/2023 12:02

Well, he needs to find something else he wants to do.
In the meantime he keeps going to sixth form.

If he drops out regardless, stop giving him money or doing anything for him other than the basics of putting a roof over his head.

That is a very good idea. Thank you redskylight.

OP posts:
Justlovedogs · 27/03/2023 12:14

I wanted to drop out of 6th form less than 6 weeks in. My mum's answer was that I had two options: carry on in 6th form and she & my dad would continue to financially support me or get a full time job in order to support myself. I got a job, paid my way and have worked ever since.
Good luck, OP.

Bunnyannesummers · 27/03/2023 12:30

Does he know what he ultimately wants to do?

OnaBegonia · 27/03/2023 12:49

dropping out isn't an option.
Work, apprenticeship, restarting y12 on a different course
why is this always trotted out? do you honestly think that every under 18 is doing one of these??

Marchforward · 27/03/2023 12:51

OnaBegonia · 27/03/2023 12:49

dropping out isn't an option.
Work, apprenticeship, restarting y12 on a different course
why is this always trotted out? do you honestly think that every under 18 is doing one of these??

Of course not. There are lots of NEETs, who have poor life outcomes. But the OP has the right to say unless you’re in education or training then you need to move out.

OnaBegonia · 27/03/2023 13:06

You would make a 17 yr old
leave home? with what income?
My comment was made as often MNers trot it out as if it's the law and it's very annoying.

prh47bridge · 27/03/2023 13:20

The law in England is that young people must be in full-time education or an apprenticeship or traineeship (or spending 20+ hours a week volunteering while in part-time education or training) until they are 18. Enforcement is up to LAs and many don't bother, but that is the law.

TeenDivided · 27/03/2023 13:22

OnaBegonia · 27/03/2023 13:06

You would make a 17 yr old
leave home? with what income?
My comment was made as often MNers trot it out as if it's the law and it's very annoying.

But you don't want a 17yo toi think that doing nothing is an option, do you?

It is an option, sort of, but not a very acceptable one. So it has to be made to look as undesirable as possible compared with one of the others.

IAteAllTheTomatoes · 27/03/2023 13:41

Tell him that you'll consider it if he outlines his plan.

he should include what job he would get & confirmation he doesn't need to finish school to get it, how he will get to & from work independently (more difficult of not near any public transport), and cover the cost of rent, transport, food, electricity, phone etc.

I'm a totally believer that college etc isn't for everyone but a basic education is required for most jobs. He can't have much longer left either so it's worth finishing.

NewDogOwner · 27/03/2023 13:45

Use the 'when and then' that we do with toddlers ' . When you have organised a start date for your job/ training/apprenticeship, then you can tell school you are leaving.

HouseofHolbein · 27/03/2023 15:01

My daughter dropped out of her college a level course in October. Since then she has been doing as many hours as she can in her part time job and applying for apprenticeships.

She's just started a hospitality apprenticeship 😊 and is enjoying it massively

Ponderingwindow · 27/03/2023 15:09

Full-time school or full-time education and paying his own way, including charging him real rent. (Or possibly some mix of the two). If he drops out, it isn’t to do chores, he has to go start the job he is going to be doing with the amount of education he has chosen to pursue. He needs to understand what his life will be while he still has a chance to change his mind.

ftp · 02/03/2024 22:21

Did he know why? Is it the workload, the subjects, was he struggling to keep up?It is a big step up to self-determination/-management between GCSE and A levels, and schools become less supportive, shifting the "blame" for lack of progress, delivery to the child. Getting as far as March means that he did try to stick it.
Take him to your local FE college to look at the options for courses. Many are part-time, if he is finding the workload a struggle. They also off work-based placements with day release. They have great careers guidance.
He cannot drop out until he is 18.
I hope that he has now found his way, but it is not too late to review and restart.

EffinMagicFairy · 02/03/2024 22:43

Ds dropped out of 1st year a-levels, he’d stayed on at his school, he then did a year learning a trade, that wasn’t for him either, so went back to college a-levels, hopefully either a degree apprenticeship or off to Uni in Sept. It’s hard when they don’t know what to do, if he drops out, he can always make decision to start a-levels again, they get funding for 4 years after school.

rainbows55 · 15/12/2024 23:48

Just been reading this thread because my son announced today he is quitting sixth form. Wondered what happened OP to your son in the end?

ftp · 16/12/2024 14:54

rainbows55 · 15/12/2024 23:48

Just been reading this thread because my son announced today he is quitting sixth form. Wondered what happened OP to your son in the end?

There is a big step change between GCSE and 6th form.
He cannot until he is 18, unless he has a training/apprenticeship/ other course to go to. I would suggest, that it is unlikely the school are going to be helpful, but student support at your local tech are possibly the only place to go to get ideas. But you could get him a job in a fast food chain or similar where he has to work really hard at something repetitive and boring to encourage him to see the advantages of getting an education in something.

Tubetrain · 16/12/2024 14:55

Well he has to stay in education or training until 18.

And whilst you probably wouldn't see him on the streets, you're not obliged to pay for his phone provide wifi, etc etc etc

So you need to see a proper plan. Would an apprenticeship work?

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 16/12/2024 15:02

annabelleellis226 · 27/03/2023 12:04

That is a very good idea. Thank you redskylight.

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And give him a list of jobs every day