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Original poster

When to move to the independent sector

28 replies

Twizbe · 13/03/2023 10:49

For various reasons we've decided to go the private route for our kids for secondary.

Last night we were discussing when to make the move from state to private and we keep going round in circles. When is best to move?

Some context to this. We have 2 kids, one of each sex, 2 years apart.

They are currently year 1 and preschool. They attend a lovely, small, diverse, CoE state primary. It's a single form entry so despite being in London has a real family feel. Our eldest has thrived there and youngest is going the same way. The school expects a lot from the kids and does what it can to help them achieve their potential.

I don't see a need to move them before secondary. Partly due to logistics, partly due to cost and partly due to I don't know what a larger private school would give them that this school doesn't. The majority of the private schools here are straight through schools so in comparison to their current school, they're huge.

DH wants to do the 'state till 8' thing and move them sooner. From what he's said, he's worried about 1 particular friend of our eldest that he fears could turn into a bad influence. I think that as they get older this friendship will cool as they don't really have a lot in common.

OP posts:
XVII · 13/03/2023 11:08

We moved one at 11+ as he the school served him well. Our other not so much he so he moved in year 4

Labraradabrador · 13/03/2023 12:15

Do you know which schools you would prefer for secondary? If so that might inform the decision. I am in SW, so if is a different game, but was recently chatting with a London friend and there is much greater chance of securing a position at her preferred school if she takes the 7+ path to the feeder prep. If you aren’t set on 1 or 2 schools, there’s probably more flexibility to take it in time and make the change when it feels right for your DC1.

I think your DH’s concern about another 6 year old being a bad influence is silly, but I have found a world of difference between state and Indy junior school. Might be worth a visit just to see what the alternatives actually are?

Original poster
Twizbe · 13/03/2023 12:44

This is a good point. Our top choice for the boy is a straight through which might be easier for 7+ entry. Our top choice for the girl is just senior school.

Or there is a second choice for both which is mixed which is straight through.

They go to a sports group with a boy who is at the mixed option and he's a handful. I'm not sure how he would be a better influence than the friend my child has already. And tbf my son follows this child's lead at the sports group and he doesn't seem to follow the other child's lead.

I think perhaps I need to draw up our proper short list and go visiting.

OP posts:
Blueuggboots · 13/03/2023 13:15

I would consider year 5. This gives year 6 to allow them to catch up to the private curriculum.

HighRopes · 13/03/2023 13:24

We moved both our dds at 11. It worked well, they both got plenty of offers. The advantages are that Y5/Y6 in a prep can get quite stressy, which we largely avoided as most of their class didn’t do the 11+, and with an older child you have a better idea of which school will suit them best. And of course you save a few years of fees.

The disadvantage is that you feel quite alone with no support from school on things like what school is a realistic choice, and you might want to find a tutor which is in itself a bit of a minefield.

Mine haven’t needed to catch up with the prep school kids, as Blueugg suggests. They found in Y7 they had done different things in Maths, and had done much less competitive sport than the prep school kids, but it’s not been a problem.

Original poster
Twizbe · 13/03/2023 13:28

I don't want them getting stressed by the process. In some ways it would be good to go through that in their current school where they won't get the whole 'I'm doing this school which is better than you'.

By the same token I don't know how many go to private school from there. Is there a way to find out?

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 13/03/2023 13:30

Lots of variables but we moved both of ours to Private at Y7 and it was fine but we aren’t in London so the competition for places isn’t as fierce.
I asked DD if it had been the right decision and she said it might have been easier to move for Y5 or 6 but that she really enjoyed the last year at her Primary so was glad she stayed until then. Having been through the process we didn’t feel we should do anything different for DS.
DD struggled a bit socially at first but not academically and to be honest she probably would have been the same wherever she went.

twistyizzy · 14/03/2023 09:48

We made decision of state primary and move her for Y7 to independent. She is due to start in Sept 23 so I can't say yet whether this has been the right decision however it has given us time to save up a few years' worth of fees prior to her starting. We did get a tutor for the entrance exam from Sept 22 (exam end January 23) and I'm pleased we did.

goddaton · 14/03/2023 10:01

It will depend in part on the intake year at your chosen senior school, some start at 11 (year 7) others start at 13 (year 9) - some private schools have their own prep school/junior school and they could join that at 11.

As a teacher in an independent senior school I have always noted the kids who join us at 13 from the state often fail to integrate as quickly as one might wish them too. Their peers have often been through the final years of prep together, if not at the same school, they know each other across the sports field, and they are used to the structure and environment, which is quite different in many ways.

Those that come from the state at 11 to the prep department just seem to mesh in seamlessly, I've noted this at all 3 schools i've taught at over 20 or so years.

LulooLemon · 14/03/2023 10:19

I would move them now. Ten year olds often just want to go the secondary school their friends are going to.

FlounderingFruitcake · 14/03/2023 10:32

If I could avoid the 11+ madness because there was an all through option that I was happy with then I would go for it. Go visit the schools would be my advice. What I wouldn’t do though is move them from the state you’re very happy with, to a prep, just to have them move again at 11. And there’s likely to be at least one ‘handful’ in every class, private or state, as you know from the current bad influence and the boy from
the sports team, so I wouldn’t waste time worrying about that.

Blondebalayage · 14/03/2023 10:34

LulooLemon · 14/03/2023 10:19

I would move them now. Ten year olds often just want to go the secondary school their friends are going to.

I sort of agree with this, but I think eight is a good age to move them.

Original poster
Twizbe · 15/03/2023 19:07

Thank you for all the info.

I think the first step is for me to actually find out the options in our area and go visiting. It's hard really as we are a way off secondary school but it will come round fast.

The moving from a school we like is a big concern for me. His school is so wonderfully small. All the teachers know all the kids and it's a real community.

It such a hard choice.

OP posts:
Dodgeitornot · 15/03/2023 21:15

You have no way of knowing if the other schools won't have a child that's a bad influence. If you're in London I'd move at 11. Most kids don't go to the same schools, even in one small primary there's lots of movement.

Radiatorvalves · 15/03/2023 21:25

We went private at 11+ after a fantastic state primary in London. It was very last minute - had intended local comp, but it happened and it worked well. If you like the primary I’d stay there, but remember your kids will need to be on side with the decision to move. 6 years is a long time. When we started at the primary it was socially quite mixed. V few went private. That changed with a bit of gentrification. The kids have done really well there but frankly no better than friends who did go to the good comp…. And remember there are bad influences in all schools.

Frogusha · 17/03/2023 08:50

If you're not in London and the schools are not selective there's no rush. If selective schools and London it's not about you choosing, rather schools choosing you. The lovely state school won't prepare them for entry and arguably an earlier entry point (before 11+), i.e. 4+ or 7+ should be easier on the child.

Salverus · 17/03/2023 08:52

Depends what your local schools are like. There's no doubt unis favour state schools ATM but who knows what it will be like in 12 years!

Stopsnowing · 17/03/2023 09:16

If you are in London it is really hard to get into a private school at 11 plus and moving to a through school in year 4 or 5 takes away a lot of that stress although some through schools still make their juniors sit the test for the seniors and transfer is not automatic.

HighRopes · 17/03/2023 10:44

OP There is a lot of hype, including on MN, about how awful the 11+ process is. That was not my experience.

It required organisation, planning, really quite a lot of time off work, and a lot of staying calm and positive for the DC, but for me it didn’t register compared to things like a house move or a work crisis. It did feel like it dominated my life for a few months, but there was always a clear end in sight.

I may just have lucked out, and I’m sure not being in a prep helped, but it was certainly nowhere near stressful enough for me to consider moving a happy DC before Y6.

HighRopes · 17/03/2023 10:45

And yes, I am in London.

Original poster
Twizbe · 17/03/2023 10:55

We're London. Love where we live and don't want to move.

Local state are hit and miss and we're in a bit of a funny area for catchment. A new boys school should be open in time for eldest but not guaranteed. Other options open for boys are very miss at the moment. Girls options are better. For some reason our LEA loves single sex and all our closest schools are single sex.

There's limited straight through private options too. Our top girls pick is secondary only.

My gut is to move him at year 6 and pay for some kind of tuition. We have a slight advantage in my mum used to work in a famous prep school and has taken children through common entrance and all the top private options.

OP posts:
Genevieva · 17/03/2023 11:30

My nieces moved at the same time as each other, so for one that was 11+ and for the other it was at age 9 / Y4. It really didn't make any difference.

SheilaFentiman · 17/03/2023 11:37

You really need to understand the entry stats of your target schools. My boys go to a secondary only boys’ school but its sister school is a straight through from primary. Girls do still need to do an exam but it’s clearly harder to get in from the outside at 11+.

London has a bunch of highly competitive schools and there’s lots of threads on the 11+ entry on MN.

ApolloandDaphne · 17/03/2023 11:39

Our DD went into year 6 which gave plenty of time for consolidation. It worked well for her.

SheilaFentiman · 17/03/2023 11:43

There may also be very defined entry points -7+ and 11+ say - joining in year 5 May not be an option