I am very upset with the way my ds's teacher has dealt wih his fractured collar bone.

[Finfon]

My ds (4) fractured his collar bone last week
but has been back at school all this week with a sling on. When I spoke to his teacher on Monday about taking care of him and keeping him in at lunch as a precaution she was very difficult and her attitude was that he shouldn't be back at school if he couldn't just fit in with everyone else.So I spoke to the Headteacher who assured me they would take precautions to protect him. However the reception teacher now avoids me at all costs and almost runs away to avoid me discussing my ds health. A TA blocked the door of the classroom tonight to prevent me speaking to the teacher about the fact he's got another x ray on Monday. Am I being over sensitive? or do you think it's not asking too much for my ds's school to talk to me openly about matters like his health and care and not make me feel like an overbearing Mum?

In the nicest possible way - I fear you may be being over-sensitive - very unlikely the teacher is avoiding you - she just has 25 other little ones and their parents on her hands and they may be wanting to speak to her as well. And tbh - if you were worried about your son excacerbating his injury you should keep him off school - or go and pick him at lunchtime , take him for a walk etc - it's not really on to expect school to do more than they already do imo - they already strive to avoid injury wherever possible.
It's very easy for me to say and feel that from my position - for you as his mother it's a lot harder - he is quite rightly your top priority and you quite naturally want to protect him. Hope you get on well with the next x-ray.

no it's not too much to ask. personally, i haven't been in that situation, i would speak directly to the headteacher, possibly request a meeting with said teacher and ht acting as "mediator" and discuss what you've said here.

i think that part of the gov't idea with cm's (thou i may well be wrong as i'm not saying it that well) is that parents are involved and that cm's have a relationship with their mindee's parents. i, therefore, wouldn't have thought it would be that much different for schools? please correct me if i am wrong x

i too broke my collar bone at that age and would hate to be kept away from the other dc

as long as they are making sure he isnt doing anything to cause any more harm it would be a shame to isolate him from the other dc

but i understand your worries my mum was the same but she just left me be as my friends and teachers looked after me

It's horrible for a child to be kept in at lunchtimes when everyone else is running around and playing, and I tend to agree with the teacher that if he isn't ready to be in the playground, he shouldn't be at school - particularly as he's only 4. School playgrounds, even in infant schools, are rough places (I've seen it; I work in one!) and accidents happen all the time - even when there is plenty of supervision, it is impossible to prevent children colliding with each other.

Of course you should be able to talk to the school about your concerns, and if you really felt the TA was blocking the door, it would have been perfectly acceptable to ask her to let you past to see the teacher. Although if it were only to tell her that he has an x-ray, a note in the book bag is usually the best way to do it as it doesn't rely on the teacher remembering three days later.

Talk to the teacher - you have every right to do that, and she can't avoid you for ever. If you don't get any joy, see the head. Talking to them is the only way to resolve a situation like this.

Thanks for replying. I am tempted to ask to talk to the Head partly because the TA was so rude to me tonight and it saddens me that the school is so afraid of parents that they behave in this way. I understand what your saying too NorthernLurker but it is hard to be objective when it it's your own child.

That's my point really - it's impossible to be objective about your own child especially when they are so wee! BUt that's what mumsnet is for - we can be objective for you The TA certainly should not have been rude though - what did she say? I was sort of thinking perhaps she had been standing in the doorway talking to abother parent and you had interpreted that as her trying to stop you going in - and it might have been that or it might not iyswim - but if she said something then that is well out of order imo!

Sorry for the delay I've just got the chance to get back to the computer. The TA basically barred the entrance to the classroom and when I said that I needed to tell the teacher my ds was not going to be in on Mon am because he had another xray she said "ok, anything else" and moved her body to prevent me seeing the class teacher. I was also taken a back because there was a packet of crisps in my ds book bag which were not his so I said to this TA that they were there and she said "It's your lucky day!" to my Ds. He rarely has crisps and for all she knew or cared could have had an allergy etc. It was really her manner that upset me but reading this back maybe I am overreacting.

I'm not sure I agree with the other posters that a child who couldn't run around and play should be kept at home. Some children would spend very little time at school in that case.

Imagine keeping a child off for weeks because they had a slight fracture of a foot- who would make up for the learning they missed?

IME the Education Welfare Authority tends to take a dim view of children who are kept at home if they are not actually ill enough to be in bed. If you can't get a doctor's certificate that your child is really sick enough not to be able to go to school, you risk a fine. And most GPs wouldn't sign a note like that just because the child couldn't run around the playground. I know this because I have been there.

My dd has a medical condition that means she has frequent injuries - she wouldn't have an education if I couldn't send her in when she was injured. If the school complained I would refer them to the EWO.

I agree Cory about not wanting to keep children at home unnecessarily. My DS would be very bored if he had to stay at home for the whole time it took the fracture to heal and he would miss a lot at school. The school he goes to seems very reluctant to take children who are under the weather and I have often heard the reception teacher saying "Are you sure he is well enough to be here? "when a child turns up with even a slight cough. There is no way I could be at home with my DS for the 4 weeks it takes for the fracture to heal and I think it's very unreasonable of the school to even suggest it really.

I don't think it's too much to ask at all. Ds1 has been to school with a fractured arm and also when he had irritable hip - school had no problem whatsoever keeping him in at playtime and he was allowed to choose a friend each day to stay with him. I sent in activity packs for him to do with his friends.

Having an injury such as this doesn't prevent them from listening, reading etc so, imo, it's no reason to stay off school.

I think school should be a little more flexible - breaktimes can be difficult times for all sorts of reasons, say if a child has some sort of social issues/SN, or physical reasons.

At our school they would be allowed to stay in but the area where they can sit is just outside the staffroom so would be within watching/listening distance. Not sure what you would do if there was no supervision available. Understand your concern though.

From what you say I don't think the TA was being offhand or rude but obviously I didn't hear her tone

DS went to school in a wheelchair when he broke his leg (full length cast for 9 weeks). Our only problem was when we asked for help with him going to the loo! He needed someone to help him with the door - they thought he needed help wiping! I said would someone help if he got stuck? They weren't happy but luckily he just held on all day!