Which independent school? SE London

[dani2727]

Hello everyone,

We are looking for a independent school for our DD. She is currently in year 5 co-ed prep school. She is so academic, bright and doing great academically. When she was in yesr 2 she had offer from even St Pauls Girls but we didnt go for it because we dont want to put pressure on her. She doesnt need a push, she already so focused. We are looking for a friendly, warm, nurturing environment so league tables really doesn’t matter for us as I already know she will do well where-ever she goes. She doesn’t like sport but she loves music.
Me or my husband don’t mind but my daughter prefer to go to single sex (girls only school).

My other question is actually do you prefer coed or single sex school for girls in secondary stage?

Our options:

School A: Blackheath High

• 5 mins walk away from our house
• its GDST school so fees are cheaper than other independent schools
• we liked the building, new, clean and modern
• We really liked the music room and 1:1 music rooms. -my daughter plays 2 instruments and we told that she can practise any time in music rooms whenever she has free time (maybe its same for every independent schools I dont know)
• We visited school we liked it, 15 years old girl showed us around and she was so confident and I liked her behaviour and speech.

School B: Colfe’s

• 4 miles away - my daughter needs to use 2 public bus and 5-7 mins walk or
• school bus which will cost us about £2000 extra
• We visited school we liked the environment but didnt like that there were no-one (student) to show us around
• We liked the head he was so friendly
• Facilities also was great

School C: Eltham College

• 6 miles away - my daughter needs to use school bus which will cost us about £2000 and she needs to leave home around 7:30am.
• £3000 more expensive than school A and B per annum.
• lunch and 1:1 music lessons also more expensive (but we can afford it if it is worth it)
• When we visited school I liked the field, green grounds but we I cannot say it was warmer than other schools.
• Facilities are great
• This schools GCSE results slightly better than School A and B but should be because of the school starts at year 3 and so they do proper exam before offering place to candidates. (Actually this years results was almost the same with other 2 schools)
• its Church School and we are not religious
• its recently Coed (I think since 2020)

Which one would you pick?

Thank you in advance x

Surely if you're a 5 minute walk away from Blackheath High, you're within walking distance of Blackheath Standard? The 202 goes from there straight to Lee Station (5-10 minute walk to Colfe's).

We went on the Colfe's open day in November and we were very impressed with the student who showed us around and the facilities (DD also in Yr 5). We haven't yet looked around Blackheath High or Eltham College, but they are on the list.

Blackheath. Having a 5 minute work
is awesome.

I got a bus to school in London (nice area) as a teenager and on the commute I’ve been groped, sexually harassed, stalked and had things thrown at me. It never crossed my mind to tell my family or indeed anyone, I though this was just part of London commuting and the truth is, that it is, since I’ve had similar experiences as an adult.

Go for the shortest commute possible particularly for a girl.

Thanks for the responses. Do you prefer coed or single sex secondary for a girl? X

What do you mean you had an offer from St Paul's Girls in year 2? St Pauls Girls school doesn't have a junior school as far as I'm aware

Bute House used to be St Paul’s Girls’ Preparatory School. Presumably that’s what OP means?

Surely it makes no difference whether the poster prefers co-ed or single sex? The question is what do you prefer and what do you think is best for your daughter. There are pros and cons to each. It’s up to you to decide.

SPGS at year2?

I’d choose Blackheath hands down. An easy commute to a school with decent infrastructure is wonderful, especially she has practices after school. It means much more independence.

Never mind the logistics, those are 3 very different schools?

If you want Small and nurturing and your dd prefers single sex then it has to be Blackheath High?

Colfes is a big school - better facilities but it is massive. And Eltham has only just gone coed so girls are in the minority.

I really wouldn't place any importance on the speech and behaviour of the one pupil you met at Blackheath though - you'll find kids like that (and their direct opposite) at any school you visit.

Am intrigued as to how you have gone from considering a pressurised central London prep school at 7 to only looking at the most local indies at 11. Quite a change?

@ChnandlerBong thanks for your respond. She will also attend top independent schools 11+ assessments aswell… we just to see her potential and she loves to challenge herself. She doesnt feel tired or pressured when she does mock exams or assesments. So thats why we let her to do the asssesment we actually never considered her to travel to far away - even for the secondary.

There were lot of girls in Blackheath High open day (I was told that all year 7 girls was in the open day just the one who was from junior was in junior side) and they were all kind and helpful but In Colfe’s I asked one student show me green grounds and the swimming pool area and he just said actually there is no point to see it then he just talked about the swimming pools deep how many meter it is etc.. but of-course I don’t give decision because of that. I like the Colfes facilities as well and I heard that they are good at sport which actually my daughter is not sportif.

In Eltham College we asked about the class size to the student who showed us around and he said there are 9 girls and 12 boys in their classroom.
I dont know if the all classes are like that. Also there are news about the Eltham College which they….. manipulating the system’ by inflating their pupils’ marks during the Covid crisis.?
Do you think this is true? I have no idea but their 2022 results wasnt so impressive at all.

@Cal2022 Yes Bute House (sorry forgot to mention that). I believe its one of the prep schools in London but we prefered local prep.

Best prep*

OP there's lots online about EC's pandemic results. Up to you if that's still relevant.

So your dd is sitting other 11+ exams even though you have no intention of sending her there? Just so she can say she got in? Waste of time and effort IMO.

@ChnandlerBong yes, I dont push her at all. We both would like to see how she will do - she really wants to do it as well. So we dont think its waste of time.

Just to throw another idea in - have you looked at JAGS?

There are several routes on the school coach service that serve Blackheath, so the journey is unlikely to be a problem. And I think it could fit what you are looking for in a school very well

Do ask the GDST school about staff turnover and any vacant posts. Some have had issues since they changed the benefits paid to teachers. DD was in another GDST school for Y3 to part of Y6, it wasn’t the best fit but that was more probably about DD than the school. It wasn’t hugely academic and she got ridiculed and bullied for liking study and the school were not helpful in dealing with it. Friends she is still in touch with that moved onto the GDST Secondary have lots of MH issues. Note this wasn’t Blackheath High but another SE London GDST.

if you are looking for relaxed schools you might also want to look at Babington House.

Don’t rule out a good state school too, DD is far happier in her state grammar than she ever was in a private school, tired buildings but great teaching and lovely friends.

On the next week i will come to London and i need to know the best school here for my boy. What can you say ?

presumably she is already trying JAGS just to see how she does...

OP - the more exams there are, the more interviews there are, the more likely it is that she has a clash or 2 events on one day. If you really are set on the 3 schools you have listed, knowing that she got a place at school 4, 5 or 6 is irrelevant. You will spend £00s and hours of your time finding out that she could have gone to, say, JAGs - which is a meaningless fact!

@ChnandlerBong no, we will try top independent school in city and 2 or 3 local schools. Mu daughter can manage to handle 3-4 assesments.

OP why though? What will it prove? If you're that in love with St Paul's then just go there?

@ChnandlerBong because we dont loose anything if we try.

@ChnandlerBong No one can just decide to go to St Pauls. A few target / accessible schools and one aspirational school is pretty standard.

It seems like your gut feeling is Blackheath and the proximity I think all things being equal is a huge plus. It can save a lot of time everyday for more family time / hobbies etc.

Regarding co-ed or single-sex there are pros and cons to both which are dependent on your child and the schools in question. Some high achieving girls schools have a reputation for exacerbating perfectionist tendencies in girls that are that way inclined which can have negative impacts on mental health. However, this isn't at all universal and single-sex schools for girls tend to have more girls studying STEM subjects.

I have friends who went to all girls schools and their interpersonal skills with the opposite sex were peculiar! However, I don't think it has to be that way if you create other opportunities to socialise though in extracurricular activities etc

Another recommendation to consider JAGS. Sounds like a good fit.