Bad parents evening - help!

[Cherryblossom200]

Hi everyone,

I have a 7 year old who is in year three and I've just come out of parents evening very worried.

My daughter has always been on the lower end of the scale when it comes to where she should be. So I guess I shouldn't be surprised by the feedback.

I'm starting to worry that she may have a learning difficulty. It's strange, because she's always been incredibly articulate and academic in other ways But she struggled with cursive handwriting, was slow with drawing and is struggling with maths. She has such low confidence that she has to sit with the teacher for maths instead of being able to do it on her own.

However her focus is very good, so I'm ruling out ADHD. She has a natural interest in nature, the environment and science. She makes her own experiments, and knows huge amounts about animals and will watch one nature show after another.

But she struggles with the way the teach at school.

Her father has dyslexia, so I know this could be an issue. However her general reading is good, but written sentence structure seems all over the place.

I've signed up to Komodo to see if that will help, and will work with her to build up confidence in her English.

No idea if I should be worried at this stage. Or if she's just a slow starter.

If there is any way you can afford it I'd get her assessed by an Educational Psychologist. My now 17 year old son was similar to your daughter but school always told us that he'd catch up. He did in many ways and when he started secondary school he had a reading age of 16 but when he was in Year 11 we had real concerns and had him assessed privately and he was diagnosed with dyslexia.

I always had a nagging feeling something was wrong but we were always reassured by his teachers that he was fine. I feel very guilty that I didn't fight for him more and that he had to struggle on for years with no help.

Thanks Twig. My daughters reading is fine though. She doesn't get her words muddled up. But her understanding of maths isn't great. However do know this is a form of dyslexia. And I guess if her father has it then there is a strong possibility she may have it.

Do you have to pay for the assessment then?

What have school suggested? If they are seeing issues I would expect them to have a plan/offer a referral/conduct testing. My DCs' school does dyslexia screening in-house for instance. They can't have just said she's struggling with all these things and left it there?

They are speaking to the SEN teacher and her maths work is going to be accessed. This is the main area of concern. The teacher said that my daughter is still progressing which is good, but I can see she isn't at the level she should be.

I hated maths despite my father being a maths genius! I have always been rubbish at it and had no interest it in. So I'm not surprised she is doing badly!

The biggest marker for my (bright, dyslexic, dysgraphic) son was the distinct difference in verbal and written work.
If you can possibly pay for an Educational Psychologist evaluation, I would.
The benifit for us was the understanding exactly what he struggled with, and possible ways to mitigate them.

Discalculia might be the issue. I would look up the typical symptoms. See if she matches some of them.

You can be very good at reading but still dyslexic, so don't rule it out just because her reading is on track. But yes look at dyscalcula as well.

Pay for a private EP assessment

There was a thread on here yesterday about the impact of lockdowns and lots of people said yr3 is the most affected. I have a Dd in yr3 and ds in yr1. I can really see how Dd has missed out on some basic maths building blocks. We had parents evening this week and her teacher said it's a common issue in the class, they're having to go back over basic number bonds etc, stuff that my ds in yr1 is now learning. My friend who is a maths teacher always tells me that maths isn't genetic!!

I was also thinking dyscalculia…..though my initial thinking when you mentioned the handwriting and drawing was dyspraxia. Motor dyspraxia in particular. How is she with her coordination and other general physical skills, like catching a ball or reacting to something coming at her? How is she with things like buttons and getting her coat on and such?

Couldn’t agree more with this, Year 3 are a real key focus in my school right now and it was discussed at length on Inset day about how they missed big chunks of Reception and Year One, so the foundations just weren’t set in place how they should be. Likewise, Year 2 also missed a huge chunk of Reception and lost a lot of their preschool time and have needed additional work on social skills as well as the basic academics having to be revisited.

I also agree with posters who suggested private assessments, if that’s something you can do, just to speed the process up and get her the support she needs.

You can get a dyslexia assessment done not by an EP so should be cheaper. My son had one done and his reading age was years ahead but his writing and certain processing tasks were way behind and they diagnosed dyslexia.

I'll look at getting an assessment. But I also do think it is a lot to do with lockdown. My daughter just wasn't interested in homeschooling, so we fell behind then. It's not until recently that she has the focus to sit down and do work. Apart of me feels she just is a normal 7 year old who is slightly more immature than others.

But I'll get an assessment too.

Honestly reading the title I thought it was going to be about bad behaviour, bullying, lack of engagement and other embarrassing stuff. OP, the academic side is really not the be all and end all. She is so young still and will find her way in life. She may never be a university candidate, but she will no doubt excellent in her own way. If she is happy, polite, well behaved, has a nice group of friends and generally enjoys school, nothing else really matters.

Yes, get her properly assessed by an EP, and not someone who just looks for dyslexia but one who will give you a full report on your daughter's strengths and weaknesses.

If you can pinpoint what's going on you can work with the school and make some adjustments to help her.

Dyslexia is an umbrella term which captures different processing issues, and knowing a child isn't dyslexic doesn't mean there is nothing going on, which is why it's better to get a full assessment than something limited to ruling dyslexia in or out.

My son never got assessed for dyslexia at primary as he was a good reader. But struggled especially with handwriting and spelling. When he started at high school he found things really hard so I paid for an assessment and he is dyslexic. He found phonics particularly hard.

I have adhd but was considered good at focussing at school. I'm not saying your child is, but more you need professional advice. Neurodivergences can present very differently based on sex, but also based on the individual and there are whole heap overlapping traits.