Do you make your child do homework downstairs?

[mrBanks]

Eldest has GCSE's this year. She was a hard worker at primary school and is able, but of all my children she is the most 'distractible'. I think (hope!) she will pass her GCSE's and get in to the sixth form of her choice which is our local state school which she would need 6's for. We think she could do better than that if she wanted to, but I don't think that can come from us or the school, but from her. My DP has suggested that we get her to work downstairs in the evenings so we know what she is doing, but I think this will be greeted with 'I am 16, I am not a baby' type reaction. Do any of you do this and does it work? We can keep her phone downstairs for an hour or so in the evening but she can still get on internet on her laptop. I am very distractible too, I am self employed and motivated but sometimes the internet is just too addictive...(hence why I am on mumsnet at 9.34am instead of sole focusing on my new project!)

Interesting question. My initial reaction was no way not at 15/16 … but then I remembered how much I procrastinated at that age. If there had been internet I think I would never have got any work done tbh.

I imagine there are apps which can block internet browser, social media etc at certain times... maybe you could discuss installing one of these with her as a way to help her concentrate for a couple of hours a night?

What are you doing downstairs? If you are relaxing in front of the telly, that's not great for her. Equally, if you are doing chores, it's distracting. Can you help her create a positive learning atmosphere upstairs and keep an eye on her in a nice/stealth way, e.g. bring up drinks and healthy snacks, or help her with revision (e.g. by quizzing her on her revision notes?) Or set up a double workstation, where you and dd work together?

My parents did this to me from y10. Yes I came out with sterling grades for GCSE and alevels. No I didn't learn how to study on my own - I ended up failing out of medical school because I didn't know what to do with myself when I got to uni. My younger sibling also suffered, with everyone having to tip toe around me.

I'd work on her increasing her self motivation instead.

Upstairs, downstairs doesn’t matter.
What your DC need is a quiet study space with little to no distractions.
We have a big long table with comfy office chairs in the conservatory with a comfy sofa and that is our DCs’ study space. They can close the doors if someone is watching the TV. It’s bright and open with a view of the garden. It’s close to the wifi and we have our printer/scanner in there as well. We are down to only one DC at home now and they are doing their A levels.

They still do computer science upstairs where they need their desktop. But they like the study space for maths and physics as they use their iPad, calculator and pen/paper and a whiteboard for that. They can do a timed set of past questions quite easily as it’s set up very minimalist. The table doesn’t get any clutter.

So your DC needs a quiet, dedicated study space. That can be created downstairs or upstairs or even a corner of their bedroom.

Forgot to add, do not stand over them! You provide the study space and then leave them to it.

How would that work, would you just be in the same room checking constantly she isn't on the internet? Surely that is not conducive to studying, feeling you are being watched.

IMO the key thing is to be engaged with their revision, let them know your priority is to do what they think they need to succeed, make sure they have the environment and resources they need, and advise on good study techniques and habits (short 30-40 min revision sessions with breaks, mix it up different types of subjects - essay subject followed by a science one, spaced repetition, plan), casually ask what they plan to do before they start, show them you care but making sure they have a glass of water etc and then ask how they got on when they have finished - praise if they think did well or ask leading questions how they think it could be better if they didn't think it was a good session.

I found the teen / exam years the toughest of all the parenting years, it was so much trial and error finding that balance between telling and effectively guiding, enforcing and successfully motivating and at the same time making sure they had a healthy balance and had fun too. N5 (GCSE level) were the hardest, Highers/AH (A Level) were easier as they have learned from previous exam years.

Standing over them just won't work. Hopefully once you get through it with your eldest you'll have a blue print for the next one. This is one time I am thankful I only had one!

I used to sit at the breakfast bar in the kitchen whilst my DM or DDad got supper ready. Happy memories of revising but not feeling like I was in purdah.

Rule here is Downstairs when procrastinating about doing homework.
Perfectly happy for homework to be done upstairs otherwise.

I don't know how this would work unless the rest of the family is quietly sitting/reading/knitting/whatever. If you want to supervise her she'll need to be in a communal space so everyone else will have to be quiet. If she's in a quite non-communal space, she may as well be upstairs.

I have a distractible child too, and I think there is a limit to how much scaffolding you can provided. Ultimately the motivation to work has to come from them. Also worth questioning if "good enough" might not be - well "good enough". Talk through the ramifications about what different grade patterns will mean.

I think it depends on the child.

Dd sat her GCSEs last year and I left her to her own devices much of the time. She preferred to study in her bedroom and gained good results and is now at 6th form.

DS is sitting his this year and is the complete polar opposite to his sister. He can lose hours on his phone and if he's out of sight will do absolutely nothing! As a result he is sat downstairs at the kitchen table with his laptop and revision notes and follows a revision plan which we sat down together to draw up. His phone goes in a phone cage while he works and he gets it back once the work is done. This is working and he has learnt that the faster he knuckles down and gets on with it, the quicker he gets his down time.