Picking on. What would you do?

[morethanmum]

DD (9) is constantly upset and annoyed that a child in her school (same age) is picked on for being funny looking. Apparently it is name calling and leaving out. I have told her
a) you don't have to join in to be like the others (she was horrified that I might think she would)
b) you don't have to take on the bullies
c) you don't have to be friends with this child out of sympathy but you do have to be nice.
What else can I do? She has broached the subject with the teacher but not much of a response there.

If I was you I might have a word with kids mum. If my DD was the one being picked on I would want to know about it. Not to rant at the other kids but to try and help my child have coping mechanisms. Obviously I would say to the mum it is heresay from my daughter so I didn't look like a gossip monger.

The fact that yr DD is upset shows she has empathy - a good thing in my view and acredit to your parenting.

I'd talk to the teacher yourself. Good on your daughter for trying to raise the matter, but you may get a better response. If the teacher won't do anything, talk to the Head.

I wouldn't have a word with the child's mother - better for the school to deal with the matter.

I don't know the child's mother - juniors doen't seem very sociable beyond your own child's friends. Might see teacher - will it look odd as no parents evening coming up so would have to make a special point about this.

I wouldn't worry about it looking odd. Could you ring the school office and make an appointment that way?

Am I right in my assumption (your OP is ambiguous - perhaps I'm reading too much into it) that the child actually has some kind of disfigurement? If so, and if the school is not taking firm action on other pupils picking on her over that, it's a very serious matter - similar to racism or picking on someone with a disability.

Well, dd says that the child does have a facial disfigurement (am being vague as would hate child's parent to be a mumsnetter and guess) but I saw the child recently and it is only minor. I do agree though about the school not noticing/acting. I might ring the office and ask to speak to teacher?