Highgate Independent School Junior and Senior - how pushy is it?

[catlike1979]

DS is currently at state school in Year 2 and we are considering the move to the independent sector for year 3 (he's sitting 7+ in a couple of weeks). I say considering as DH is really keen whereas I am a bit on the fence about it.

He goes to a lovely state primary but DH thinks academically it is not meeting his needs - he is a bright boy who finishes all his work quickly so comes home with reams of colouring in.... we are also keen to avoid the 11+ craziness so the idea that getting him in somewhere at 7+ may be slightly easier (although still a real challenge!)

Whilst of course I want him to do well and be fulfilled, academic achievement is not the be all and end all for me, and mental health and wellbeing comes first. I am worried about how "pushy" the private schools can be and how this might affect the children. Our top choice would be Highgate owing to location and also co-ed - may I ask if there are any Highgate parents here who can tell me their experiences, is it a pushy school, are your children happy and looked after there and is wellbeing a top concern? Any comments very welcome! Thank you

I’d love to know this too… watching for replies!

Very.

Highgate 7+ is still very competitive. You will be up against children who have been tutored since an early age, and children coming from other independent schools who try to make the jump. It sounds like your DS is the right sort of candidate though OP, so this isn't meant to dissuade you in any way or put you down!

Have children at both Highgate Junior and Senior school and they are very happy!

The school is big on well-being, mental health and leading a 'well rounded' school life, if that makes sense. There is a lot of focus on music/sport/co-curricular activities, and children are taught the importance of emotional resilience from an early age. It's certainly not a hot house, results-driven atmosphere at all - although the results are excellent of course.

The junior school particularly feels very nurturing and homework is minimal. I'd say the senior school is quite a leap in terms of kids being expected to be quite independent when it comes managing themselves - and it's certainly a big and bustling - but kids are still very much encouraged to be individuals. Certainly in the lower years of the senior school, parents are often reminded by the teachers etc NOT to be pushy, and to relax when it comes to exam results and so on.

I think it sounds like it could suit your son very well - good luck!

Thanks for this @glitterlemon that's great feedback. @Soma please may I ask for more info on this, if you are happy to share? Thanks so much!!

I think Highgate would have been a disaster for my shy kids. Great for an 'alpha' child. Have you considered UCS? Lovely school and very laid back.

Thanks @passport123 , yes we're applying to UCS too but I don't like the idea of single sex especially at such a young age? I would definitely prefer the laid back approach though. Mental health is more important than academic attainment for me....

both mine have done single sex and it's fine - they do mixed sex things outside school like scouts. UCS is a really lovely school.

Don’t agree that Highgate is full of outgoing ‘alpha’ kids, it’s a real mix of types. From what I gather, UCS is more competitive internally (more streaming and awareness of it) and the UVS parents have something of a local rep for being sharp elbowed and pushy (although that could be nonsense).

Are you visiting the schools? Best way to get a ‘feel’ for them and their atmosphere…

My cousin's child goes to Highgate and is very happy and doing very well.

thanks all for your responses. @superette yes we've visited both and I guess will get more chance to look when they have their "interview" days. We prefer Highgate purely for the co-ed but I really, really want to avoid any pushiness. DS is bright and I think will do better at an independent school where he can be challenged but equally we would put mental health before grades every time. I'm scared we are making a mistake moving him from state school

@catlike1979 - forgive me if this seems a bit blunt, but I think you're perhaps generalising and overthinking as a result! Academic independent schools don't automatically equal 'pushy', and one could argue that independent schools have more money and resources to invest in children's mental health - Highgate senior school, for example, has a psychotherapist who is a Director of Wellbeing, and play therapists and counsellors in the junior school to help children who might be struggling etc.

That said, you would probably find that the pace is faster in the private sector and expectations are higher. A kid who is used to being 'top of the class' in a school where overall ability is much more mixed, might find they are more average in a school that's academically competitive...which could be upsetting for a highly strung child, or on the other hand, it could be totally fine!

Ultimately, you need to think about your son's personality and each individual school and what would suit him best, rather than making generalisations about state versus private and what they are like, if that makes sense! Hope that helps x

Can I ask what you decided on in the end? Your original comment is a similar situation to us!