Hello there,
this is my first post, and I'm not entirely sure whether this is the right thread. I'd like to post in "Staffroom", but didn't manage to get there. So I apologize if I ended up in an entirely wrong space. (By the way, sorry if my English does not too smoothly; I am a Swiss living in Switzerland and English is not my native tongue).
I am trying for ways to create a positive and violence-free interaction (like games etc.) between two students. I am a general music teacher who has only been trained to teach music. Classroom management and handling difficult situations between children etc. was not part of our curriculum, so I'm still struggling here, especially since I just got started. I am talking about two students here (aged 7 or 8).
To be precise, one child is scared of the other one, and the "stronger" child tends to hit the other child, push it, tell him when he's not doing something the right way, etc. He tends to have anger issues, and from what I know it is not always easy at home, but he is also very smart and I would not describe him as mean, but rather sensitive (even though this may seem weird, given that he "bullies" the other child). I am trying to teach him alternative strategies to hitting when becoming upset or angry, like squeezing his fists and releasing them. In our music room we don't have tables and chairs, it's just an open space with no structure, but we have small chairs in a circle. So sometimes it's difficult to keep them physically separated (which I have to do in order to preventing the hitting). The other child says that he is afraid of the kid who "bullies" him, but also "triggers" the other kid. He is a very particular child. He is very tiny, talks to himself a lot, and he has trouble articulating words correctly. (Actually, he seems too young and not ready for first grade, but there is currently nothing to be done about that). While the first child (the "bully") seems to be in need of comfort and being reassured that he is ok (generally, not the agressive behaviour; I often talk to him and try to soothe him, which helped a lot over the last few weeks), the other child seems to be very different. I get the feeling that he is not being properly responded to at home when he is in need, but that's a fine line.
I only see the children once a week for two hours, and the main class teacher knows about the situation, but she also doesn't know what to do about it, and her ressources (time and attention) are very limited (which I understand). But this situation makes teaching very hard for me because the conflict between the two takes up so much space and I have to make sure that everyone gets something out of the lesson. And for many reasons I get the feeling that speaking with the parents will not help a lot.
So my (current) last resort was my idea to figure out whether I could create some kind of interaction between them so that they can develop empathy for one another and accept each other more (or: make sure that one kid stops hitting and the other one is no longer afraid). But deep down, I just feel like it's not just about empathy and a power dynamic, but that they are very different types and that if they were grown ups, they would really dislike each other.
So if anyone has an idea for a game or something or thoughts on the situation, I'd be very happy and grateful to read about it.
Thank you very much and have a beautiful day.