Starting pre-school, which version of name to use?

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My daughter is known by a shortened version of her full name. The shortened version of the name starts with a different letter to the full version of the name. Think Margaret, known as Peggy.

She will be starting pre-school soon and I am wondering what to ask the teacher to call her. My daughter is most used to Peggy but I would like her to understand that her 'proper' name is Margaret and learn to spell it, see it on her workbooks etc.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Should I ask the teacher to call her Peggy but use Margaret for more formal applications?

I'm a Nursery Teacher. I'd say to use the shortened version that she's uses most of the time. She'll get used to this and as her phonic knowledge increases, she'll get used to her full name. It's fine to use her nickname on her workbooks etc.

We are in a similar situation. Long name and short name with a different first letter to the long name. It was always my intention we would use the short name until DS was old enough to decide. The long name is a ‘grown up’ name and I wanted DS to have a choice.

My son's preschool used his full name even though he's always known by a Nick name. He asked for school to have his nickname though.

For DS1, we've always used the a shortened version, but it is simply the first half of his full name.
I always go by my middle name, and that is what was used from the start at school.

I'd go with Peggy.
But I also know a 35 year old Bubbles, as that's what her older siblings called her in utero!

I've done a similar thing with all three of my children. The preschool and school have used their full name with everything written, books, pegs, trays, certificates etc but call them by their nickname. Now my youngest is getting older she has said she prefers her full name and it's been really easy to switch as both names were used.

My name sort of evolved over time, started school with the cute nick name gradually it changed to a more grown up nick name then full name uni onwards... never been an issue.

My daughter is most used to Peggy but I would like her to understand that her 'proper' name is Margaret and learn to spell it,

If she knows both it's a non issue surely. Just teach her how to spell both, in time she'll learn when her full name is needed until then you just need to give her some guidance if needed.

DC1 has a similar name in that the abbreviation starts with a different letter and some people may not know it's an abbreviation of the longer name. At pre-school, we asked the staff to call her by her official name and teach her to write that. She already had friends who knew her by the abbreviation so that was what she was generally called. By the time she started school, she was firmly of the opinion that she wanted to be called the abbreviation only. At secondary, it has gone so far as her initials on her PE kit etc are the first letter of her abbreviation rather than her actual name. I'm still glad we had those couple of years of her being used to responding to her actual name as, at things like the doctors, that is what is used. It also helps when a cover teacher or someone takes the register and calls her by her actual name.
DC2 is also known by an abbreviation but it is more directly related to his formal name. In his case, as pre-school staff already knew him and because of the more obvious link, we just went with the abbreviation. It was only when he went to do a mock 11+ recently that we realised he thought his actual name was spelt differently to how it is. It's a valid way of spelling it and one he must have picked up some here but not the version on his birth certificate, passport etc!

I was in a similar situation to the OP's daughter. I did not know that my name was not my name until I was six. I asked my dm why certain people always called me Margaret, when my name was Peggy. It was only then that she explained. By then I'd already associated my full name with confusion, embarrassment and discomfort. I hated it for decades, even changed my legal name to my nickname.

Don't inflict that on your dc. Register her as Margaret known as Peggy, but make sure she knows her full name, why you chose it, what is special about it. Use it in pleasant, playful situations eg Queen Margaret.

TBH it doesn't matter what you put, as DD will soon put them right if you've chosen the 'wrong' one! My DD1 is known by a shortening. She has fixed anybody using the full version with a Paddington Bear stare and firmly corrected them from the moment she started speaking in sentences. She's 8yo now and me and DH are the only ones who can use her proper name unchallenged!

We went with the shortened version. One day in Y2 she decided she preferred the full version, so she switched. Absolutely no problems. Everyone who used to call her by the shortened name now uses the long one. So I would say short one, and if she wants to change it later she can.

Margaret (or whatever) is such a pain to write when you're only 4.

Also if the shortened version has different spellings (Izzy/Issy etc) then having the right one on her peg, name tapes etc will make it much easier for people to get it right.

You get a form to fill in with name and preferred name.

My dd were usually called by their preferred name but the odd teacher did say full sometimes. Never an issue. It was kind of helpful that another girl had the first name too (eg Rebecca and Becky) so dd learnt to spell the full name anyway 😂

I'm sorry you had to go through that @WashAsDelicates My daughter knows her full name as well as the shortened version, and we often use the full version in positive, playful ways.

The form will have boxes for both.
so you’ll put down her full name (you may even need to take in her birth certificate.) and then they’ll be a ‘known as’ box. Where you can put Peggy.

it’s been the same for all three of my children’s 13 nursery/preschool/primary/secondary schools.