GCSE Mocks revision with DS....

whattodo2019 · 2022-10-25T12:08:58+00:00

DS struggles with English, has a tutor and has had LS in the past. I have sat down with him today to help him with some revision homework and it's erupted in an argument, tears and shouting..... Yesterday, we managed 2.5 hrs of history with no problems .... My DH has stepped in to help and finish off the homework but I could scream..... I feel it's time DS pulled his socks up and learnt what real hard work is and the hours you need to put in... I've tried leaving him to his own devices but simply gives up and does the least amount of work possible. I think he is terrified of failing.

lbnblbnb · 25/10/2022 13:19

2.5 hours - did he have breaks? Your brain can only cope with so much info/revision before it needs a break.

Does he know how to revise? Using colour, images, mind maps, revision cards, online resources?

I am a mum, teacher and tutor and sometimes parents are the worst to help their children - the conflict, pressure etc can be too much. My son, year 11, won't let me help him with my subject (I am a GCSE & A level examiner, so could definitely help!).

I found best thing to do with my children that have gone through exam periods previously is be super positive, take them their favourite snacks regularly, make sure they take breaks, keep telling them you are proud of them regardless. The more pressure you load on, the more they are likely to kick back.

Good luck!

noblegiraffe · 25/10/2022 13:23

I feel it's time DS pulled his socks up and learnt what real hard work is and the hours you need to put in...

No wonder it ended up with screaming and tears if that's what you were conveying. You've said he struggles with English, has had support and a tutor, but are basically blaming him for lack of hard work?

If it went ok with history, presumably it's not as big an issue for him. Of course there is additional pressure to pass English due to resits etc.

Maybe you need to back off and let someone else do English with him otherwise it will continue to be a flashpoint.

Original poster

whattodo2019 · 25/10/2022 13:26

lbnblbnb · 25/10/2022 13:19

2.5 hours - did he have breaks? Your brain can only cope with so much info/revision before it needs a break.

Does he know how to revise? Using colour, images, mind maps, revision cards, online resources?

I am a mum, teacher and tutor and sometimes parents are the worst to help their children - the conflict, pressure etc can be too much. My son, year 11, won't let me help him with my subject (I am a GCSE & A level examiner, so could definitely help!).

I found best thing to do with my children that have gone through exam periods previously is be super positive, take them their favourite snacks regularly, make sure they take breaks, keep telling them you are proud of them regardless. The more pressure you load on, the more they are likely to kick back.

Good luck!

Yes the 2.5 hours were done over about 5 hours. Lots of breaks, watches You Tube clips, I helped with the typing and even read the text to him.
If I leave him on his own with the English nothing gets done or it's at such a poor level. If he allows me
to help, he completes the work to a much higher and standard and understands it.
He is only predicted a 4!!!!! Other subjects are 6-8

OP posts:

TeenDivided · 25/10/2022 13:26

With DD2 when she argued it was because she was overwhelmed / the work was too hard.
English is in my opinion (though that may be because I'm a maths sort of person) really hard to 'help' with. I can't do much to help DD as I just end up telling her the answers / how to phrase things.
The best I can do is to get her to tell me the theory of how to answer the questions. But if she can't find the answers / do the creative writing / work out arguments or whatever I can't help.
(Resitting again next week.)

Generally can you help him with a timetable that is achievable. Better 2 hours planned and achieved than 4 hours planned but not done. With a target for each 30mins. (e.g. Causes of WWI, properties of covalent bonds, water cycle)

TeenDivided · 25/10/2022 13:27

he is only predicted a 4
It's a pass. Take it.

Meagainalready · 25/10/2022 13:28

Just leave him be. If he needs learning support then that’s different but it should come formally not you.
shouting and screaming will not help anyone.
you all sound stressed and miserable.

can you speak to school again?

have to say I am so glad mine are all past the school exam stage.

Original poster

whattodo2019 · 25/10/2022 13:28

noblegiraffe · 25/10/2022 13:23

I feel it's time DS pulled his socks up and learnt what real hard work is and the hours you need to put in...

No wonder it ended up with screaming and tears if that's what you were conveying. You've said he struggles with English, has had support and a tutor, but are basically blaming him for lack of hard work?

If it went ok with history, presumably it's not as big an issue for him. Of course there is additional pressure to pass English due to resits etc.

Maybe you need to back off and let someone else do English with him otherwise it will continue to be a flashpoint.

Please don't think I shouted at him. He got upset with me, cried, raised his voice and left the room.
I'm frustrated but I don't show it to him. I'm really supportive, I only ever ask if he wants my
help, I don't force it on him.
But yes, I do think he needs to pull his socks up.

OP posts:

Original poster

whattodo2019 · 25/10/2022 13:30

TeenDivided · 25/10/2022 13:27

he is only predicted a 4
It's a pass. Take it.

I should have said 'aspirational grade'. He needs to work hard to get a pass.

OP posts:

TeenDivided · 25/10/2022 13:32

whattodo2019 · 25/10/2022 13:30

I should have said 'aspirational grade'. He needs to work hard to get a pass.

Show quote history

Fair enough.
DD has tutoring from end y8, got shafted by Covid and here we are in 'y13' still trying to get the damn thing.

PeekAtYou · 25/10/2022 13:32

2.5 hours ! Was that in one go?
Lessons are normally 40-50 mins at secondary because that's how long kids can concentrate.
How did you structure the revision session ? Did you use a past paper (available on the exam board website), questions on a website about a specific topic?
Also how much did you micromanage the session ? It might be better if he calls you if he gets stuck or he works on the questions then you discuss every x minutes. I wouldn't like someone watch me while I solved questions (the nerves would affect performance )
The last sentence is your beacon of hope. Have you considered lots of short bursts instead of hours in a go? For example our school used Corbett Maths which is literally 5 maths question a day. They publish the answers to those questions the next day. My son has ADD and responded well to this kind of structure of revision. 15 mins or so isn't an outrageous demand on him and kept his maths skills fresh because of the frequency.

Original poster

whattodo2019 · 25/10/2022 13:33

Meagainalready · 25/10/2022 13:28

Just leave him be. If he needs learning support then that’s different but it should come formally not you.
shouting and screaming will not help anyone.
you all sound stressed and miserable.

can you speak to school again?

have to say I am so glad mine are all past the school exam stage.

I didn't shout or raise my
voice to him, I am not that sort of mum. He got cross with me as like most 15 yr olds he wants to be doing other things. I know he really struggles with English and both my
DH and I do everything we can to support him. He has a tutor already, so i dont have to support so much as English is a difficult subject to help with (i think).
Can i also add, he has only been doing some work for 15
mins.

OP posts:

Original poster

whattodo2019 · 25/10/2022 13:37

PeekAtYou · 25/10/2022 13:32

2.5 hours ! Was that in one go?
Lessons are normally 40-50 mins at secondary because that's how long kids can concentrate.
How did you structure the revision session ? Did you use a past paper (available on the exam board website), questions on a website about a specific topic?
Also how much did you micromanage the session ? It might be better if he calls you if he gets stuck or he works on the questions then you discuss every x minutes. I wouldn't like someone watch me while I solved questions (the nerves would affect performance )
The last sentence is your beacon of hope. Have you considered lots of short bursts instead of hours in a go? For example our school used Corbett Maths which is literally 5 maths question a day. They publish the answers to those questions the next day. My son has ADD and responded well to this kind of structure of revision. 15 mins or so isn't an outrageous demand on him and kept his maths skills fresh because of the frequency.

He did 2.5 hrs over 5 hours. He had a huge piece of work to do as homework. The school
has set a lot of holiday work which he has to get done plus mocks mid November.
I didn't micro manage anything. Sadly you have totally the wrong impression of me.
My DS find English difficult, he does not have ADD or dyslexia etc (he has been assessed). I offered my
support yesterday and he took it and today he asked for help.
I'm just a concerned and caring mum who's just a bit frustrated today...

OP posts:

HairyKitty · 25/10/2022 13:38

It’s possible that he has a learning difference making the English especially difficult, and also possible that a grade 4 in English would be the very best he can achieve.

Original poster

whattodo2019 · 25/10/2022 13:45

HairyKitty · 25/10/2022 13:38

It’s possible that he has a learning difference making the English especially difficult, and also possible that a grade 4 in English would be the very best he can achieve.

What do you mean by a 'learning difference?' You are totally right that there is a huge difference to how he performs in English compared with Maths where he is predicted an 8, Bio -7, Chemistry-6/7, PE 6,
History he lives but struggles
with the essay based questioned.
We have known this for a few years but as the GCSEs approach it's becoming clearer that despite the support in places, there is no progress.
He is able to learn the content and can relay it back (verbally). So step one is to make sure he is confident on all the themes/ characters
etc in English and Step 2 is to leave the essay answering to the teachers to teach.

OP posts:

TeenDivided · 25/10/2022 14:07

DD1 struggled with History & English & Essays. She knew the basic info but couldn't do inference for toffee. She only passed her English exams because she had controlled assessments to fall back on. (& dropped history).

She has dyspraxia.