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I feel so quilty because…

5 replies

annas3loves · 23/10/2022 21:34

Hi, my daughter DD2 is currently in independent coed senior - I dont wana tell her year group but her age is under 14. She used to go to one of the single sex GDST school in primary. I still have older daughter DD1 in that school (GDST) in 6th form. Ama My DD2 was always a academic child who loves learning, reading and learning a lot so that coed school seemed right place for her because GCSE and A Level grades are little bit higher than GDST school. But Now I do undersatand that this is just because its more selective with full of more doable kids - thats it! After joining coed system DD2 started to care how she looks, what she wears etc. She sometimes doesnt like her hair style so she keep redoing it and she doesnt care if she be late to school because of that. Recently I found out that she has a boyfriend from school. She has a phone, they text each other, talk on the phone etc and I don’t like that she spend her time with those things because she is still so young. So what I am trying to say I am much more worried about her education right now:(. Because I can see that she doesnt focused on her studies fully, she doesnt even want to practise for assesments sometimes. She does her homeworks in the last minute because I always tell her to do. When I try to talk to her she doesn’t want, she acts/talks so aggressive and she is always trying to change the subject. Now I am telling to myself that she was happy in single sex environment and also she was doing great academically. She was so focused in her studies, like her sister. So I really do not know what I was expecting more?!!!!!! I am so worrying when she is in study club or after school club right now. When I call her to ask when she will be at home she gets angry - I feel like I will not be able to control her when she gets older. In addition I don’t blame the coed school for all these things. Just I feel so quilty. I feel like I gave the wrong decision. You may guess the school names, I really do not mind just wanted to share what I feel because I really do not feel good. And I am so unsure what do to:((

Do you think I should try to move her back to GDST single sex school? Or what do I need to do. Please share you ideas. Thank you.

OP posts:
onemomentintime · 23/10/2022 22:43

I think you posted this on another thread?
I'm not sure there will be a huge amount of difference between the schools. At 14 some girls are more into boys, clothes etc whatever school they go to. She may well be different to her older sister whatever school she goes to.

KindergartenKop · 25/10/2022 21:10

She was focused on her work in year 6 because she was 11! Now she's 13 she has all these hormones. I think you'd alienate her if you made her move schools and it probably wouldn't make her more studious!

XelaM · 25/10/2022 23:15

It's totally normal to be into boys and looks at that age. Moving her will ruin your relationship and not make her any more motivated to study

Womblesaremyfavouritefood · 26/10/2022 07:42

Why do you want to 'control' her?

Lily7050 · 27/10/2022 17:58

I thought it would be obvious from primary school level that selective schools get better results because they select more able brighter children.
I have recently read that some senior boys turn into coed to improve heir results. These is because girls' brain develops earlier and girls get better results.
Yet the tope senior schools stay single sex.

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