Irrationally emotional about moving DD from local school

[Trussia]

It’s DD’s (age 8) last day at our local school tomorrow. As a family, we have been involved with the school for eight years as older DS also attended there. I carried out a voluntary role at the school a few years back and got to see ‘under the bonnet’ properly.

I know how hard the teachers work, I know all about the resource constraints, I like many of her pals and their parents.

But I also know with each passing year it will get harder for her to get into a selective school and the lockdown offering was dreadful and we still haven’t caught up. I also know that it gets harder to fill spaces in state schools as the DC get older and am feeling super guilty that we are taking an ‘easy’ pupil out of the class and that they may not get funding for a pupil next year.

The school we have gone for (where she passed the assessment) goes to Year 13. It’s OK, great facilities etc, good value add, not super-selective but getting much tougher to get into each year.

I also know other bright kids who have stayed at her current school who just don’t get stretched and are very bored by Year 5. And yet every time I start to write the thank you card I start sobbing! WTF is wrong with me? I can’t go in to her school like this tomorrow. DD opted for her new school over her current one with no pressure from us. We pointed out she would be leaving her friends, would have to wear a uniform and do homework and she still went for it.
I just don’t understand my emotional reaction to this.

I don't think it's irrational. Schools are very special places and bound up with lots of memories for us and our children. Of course it's sad to say goodbye to a place you were so involved with.

I think it's also rational to feel a bit guilty about moving her and potentially leaving a place empty. I moved house so that DS could go to a better state secondary - I believe it was the right thing for DS, but I still feel guilty about that decision and that's just something I have to live with.

I hope your DD has a good last day and enjoys her new school.

Thanks so much @Rotherweird and thank you for being kind.

You’re right about memories. My son also attended there and we are so grateful they had their formative years there and we got to know the local community better. My reaction is just so OTT I considered moving this to the mental health board. Must confess I have always had a near blub when I saw the year 6s on their final day with their parents.

Oh Lord me and my DS were in bits for the last week of year 6. It was so emotional, he almost didn't go in on the last day because he felt so sad! At the time I thought the school were over-doing it a bit, but afterwards I realised that it was really important for all of us to say goodbye properly and acknowledge how important the time in primary had been.

Sorry you are feeling so sad - hope all goes well tomorrow and that you get a chance to do something nice with your DD to mark the end of an era and the start of a new one.

@Rotherweird I don’t know how you got through that day in year 6!! My worst nightmare! Did you nice DS mid-year in secondary? I also sense head is v cross with me for removing her… I think I need to find out why some people find goodbyes so hard! I’ve always refused a leaving do etc. Dodged funerals until I had to attend a DP one!

I don’t think it’s irrational at all. Our DC left 2 schools that they had been at for a short time and I was in bits. It’s a huge emotional upheaval to move schools- aand I wasn’t even very invested in the ones we left. Be kind to yourself. You’ll soon be settled in the new school, it will all be fine.