Is boarding (prep) school for only a year a good idea? Are there any boarding preps that offer only a semester of boarding?

[CountryMumAtHome]

Currently we’re deciding on schools for our DC, we live in the Dorset are and really wanted a single sex education for our kids. However, there are no boys prep schools in the area. We have chosen Hanford for our DD(s) and want a similar type of education for our DS(s). This has left me wondering if sending our boys to an all boys boarding prep at one point would be a good idea for them to get a single sex experience. We didn’t really consider full boarding from the age of 8 as being an option, and we don’t want them to continue full boarding forever. I don’t know if it would be beneficial to move them for only a year and then move them back. They would probably be older, year 6, 7, or 8. Moving them in their last year of prep school might be bad although I’m sure many parents do this to prepare their children for senior schools. I’m also worried that if we do have them board for a year, they’ll either hate it, or they’ll love it and want to continue boarding, which I don’t think I'm ready for. We’re going to look at Ludgrove, Cothill House, and the Pilgrim’s School (the closest) soon so if any parents have any information on those that would be great, or any recommendations.

Another option I had thought of was for the boys to board for a summer term only at an all boys school. I’ve tried looking this up and haven’t found any schools that really offer this though. Does anyone know of any boys preps that would offer this or would be open to offering this if I were to contact them. I’m sure the bigger boys schools might not want to, such as Ludgrove, but I would think some of the smaller schools would love having another pupil even for only one term. Sending them to a boys summer camp in America would also be an option as well, I’m just not sure if this would be equivalent to boarding school or not.

There’s also the option of sending them to Sherborne School which is all boys for their secondary schooling, although this is a little far off. They seem to be primarily a boarding school though and I don’t know how good it would be for a day boy, they also don’t seem to offer flexi boarding at all even though I’ve been told their school days are long.

Am I thinking to much about this single sex schooling dilemma and a coed option is perfectly okay?? Are single sex schools only beneficial to girls anyways as I’ve seen some people say? I’m just worried that my sons might be missing out on something. I’d love to hear from parents with boys at single sex schools, especially boating preps!

Why are you so set on single sex? I kind of get it as secondary, to a degree, but why all the way from prep? I think it’s great for girls and boys to spend time together and would find it really odd if either of my kids had never been to school with kids of the opposite sex.

I totally get what you mean! In the begging we weren’t set on a single sex school until we toured Hanford, even though we were open to it. I think I’m more set on it now though because I want my children to have similar educations since they won’t be going to the same school, if that makes sense? When I was younger I never was too bothered with playing with boys though so I don’t think a single sex environment will be too different. I do see how both do have the pros and cons though. As for the secondary school I do think coed might be better, unless they switched again at sixth form, I would want them to have some coed experience. Single sex would be less distracting though for that 13-15 age when boys and girls seem to begin paying attention to each other.

Kindly, this sounds insane.

Nothing against boarding (I did), but a year/ a term at a different school is going to be massively disruptive for your kids, at a really crucial age for friendships. I can’t see how any potential benefit of a single sex school would outweigh that.

@CountryMumAtHome , I think it's worth considering in the UK today there are very few all boys boarding schools for age 13-18 - Eton and Harrow being 2. There are many reasons why all boys boarding schools have gone or are going co-Ed such as Winchester (which is for another thread). Contrasting the all girls boarding schools have no intention of going coed, there is no need to bring boys into the mix for sixth form to boost a level results and places in top school lists. It's the same for top London day schools - Westminster is a mixed 6th form but St. Paul's girls is girls only. So yes to answer your question it's is generally regarded that single sex education is more beneficial to ds than dd.

Sorry wrong way round - more beneficial for dd than ds!

Thank you to both @hockeygrass and @Violettaa! This has made me feel better and more sure about choosing a single sex school for DD while choosing a coed one for DS. I agree and have been told that single sex for girls is beneficial while for boys it doesn’t really matter, and in my experience this seems to be true. I think I’m just overthinking everything about choosing new schools as the coed options seem great, as moving them would not be ideal and a little crazy.
As for an American summer camp I think that we might send them in the future anyways as I attended one as a child and loved it. The same with choosing a senior school, it’s still too early to decide and I’m sure in time I’ll see what will be best for both DC!

At university the boys who’d been to single sex boarding schools were kind of creepy and incapable of holding a normal conversation with girls…

My son is at a co-ed, I think single sex is terrible for boys. Lower results, more bullying, worse social skills…

@Ithoughtthiswastherehearsal Thank you, that’s interesting to note, I definitely wouldn’t want that. I would think single sex wouldn’t matter as much in a prep environment but I can see how that could be a negative for those in secondary school. We live near the Sherborne schools and the seem to champion “separate yet together” but I wonder how much the boys and girls really interact. I think I’d be more inclined for my DC to attend a coed senior school but I’d be okay with a single sex or coed prep.

Cothill and Sherborne parent here.
Cothill is an absolutely wonderful school and gave my DS five happy, busy and productive years. Part of what made it so special was its all-boys, all-boarding nature. Boys, because like Hanford for girls, it offered exactly what young boys want and need without compromise, for example having shorter lessons interspersed with more physical activity because boys find it harder to sit still and apply themselves. Boarding, because they built such an esprit de corps and had time for play as well as work together. But in your circumstances there would be a couple of caveats. Firstly, you live quite a way away. That matters. We did both long distance (>3 hours) and short (1hour) and the long was much harder on all of us, particularly the difficulties of coming down for matches, concerts etc. Secondly, you would really need to reconcile yourself to the idea of boarding. There are boys who join even for the final year to get boarding experience, it’s worth a discussion with Jane the registrar. In relation to a single term I doubt many schools would be keen but Cothill boys have their term in France during their penultimate summer and it just might be possible then. Ludgrove and Pilgrims are both more flexible about boarding- Ludgrove all boarding of course, but in two week blocks rather than three.
I’ll post separately about senior school.

@CountryMumAtHome , you asked about the extent of mixing between Sherborne Girls and Boys under their ‘separate but together’ ethos. This was one of the real selling points for us as we wanted our DS to meet and socialise with girls but no go full-on co-Ed. I think it works really well at Sherborne. The socials start from Y9, before they are much interested in the opposite sex, so it’s not a big deal to be mixing. They work together in theatre, concerts and choirs, cadets, DofE, sailing and other sports, debating etc., etc., as well as some sixth-form studies. But also you see boys and girls palling around together at weekends. IMO it works really well and enables them to have the best of both worlds. It’s particularly good to see boy-girl siblings across the two schools.

@Hameldown Thank you for the response, I’m glad to hear you son has really enjoyed boarding!! We’re open to the idea of boarding, I know that sounds contrasting to my first post! But with Sherborne being so close we considered it as more of a day option, at least when they were younger. We’ve looked at Cothill online though and it seems like such a darling boarding prep so I think that’s what has been pushing this crazy idea mentioned above. Would you recommend moving a boy there in year 6 or 7 for them to finish their prep schooling? I know you mentioned that some boys joined in the final year, did that go well (if you know)?
Ive also heard Cothill will be accepting day boys next year, do you think this might affect the school’s boarding atmosphere (not a huge worry but just curious)?
I’d miss them when they’re gone of course but Im starting to sway towards boarding!

@Hameldown This info about the Sherborne schools is very helpful, they’re close by for us and look very nice, my children aren’t at the senior school age yet but we will definitely be considering them when that time comes!
(I forgot to mention Cothill house is about 2 hours from us, same with Ludgrove, so hopefully travel times won’t be too bad, Pilgrims is only 1 hour)
We have both boys and girls so having something that will accommodate both is important for us. I was also a little worried they wouldn’t get to spend time with the opposite sex at all when they might want to once their older (hope that makes sense and comes off right). We hadn’t originally considered boarding since it was close, I assume your son boards, does he enjoy it there? I’ve also heard the days are long which might lead us to have our children board as well. The older ones currently flexi-board at their prep and enjoy it which has made us more open to the idea.

I would also say that academically and socially it is my understanding that boys do better at co Ed

@fleurdelee Thank you, we plan on doing some coed for prep as of right now so we’ll see how it goes! I’d want them to be well-rounded socially in either a coed or single sex environment depending on which better suits them.

My DS is at Cothill now…one of his friends there has sisters at Hanford.
The schools do seem to appeal to the same kind of parent, the only downer being they are rather far apart. We chose the school because they understand boys really well and have lots of energetic, enthusiastic male teachers who are great role models. His last school was probably 90% female teachers, who were all really lovely but once boys get a bit older they need male role models.

There are definitely plenty of boys who join Cothill for the last two or three years - usually ones who were at day preps but want to go to an all-boarding senior schools like Eton, so it’s a kind of bridge. I did seriously think about doing that too, but so many boys told me that Year 4 was their favourite year that we bit the bullet. And actually, it was the right decision for us because he did have a total blast in Y4. They have such pure fun and they can get used to the whole routine without the pressure of external exams. The trouble with joining in Y6 is that almost immediately you’ve got all the ISEB huha and senior school interviews, and in Y8 there’s Common Entrance and scholarship exams.

I don’t know about going for just one year, I suppose in theory it could be possible, maybe in Y5 or Y7? A term would be a bit pointless though - for one thing that’s a lot of uniform to buy just for one term, wherever you go.
Oh and yes in theory they are open to local day boys now - there might be some but I have not noticed any yet.

OP in the nicest possible way consistency in Education is key - shifting them about randomly is a shocker of an idea.

Co-Ed or single sex is less important than a good school. There’s no evidence single sex benefits boys much, as far as I know, but some research does suggest it can be helpful for girls.

You have to treat your kids as individuals. Pick the best school for each one according to the options available.

Boarding can be great for many (not all) secondary school kids, but I think few people would think that boarding under 11 is optimal - although the option for a few flexi nights can be.

Hanford’s a lovely school.

American summer camp can be a great experience.

Just keep your focus on each individual child and what’s right for them - it might be single sex boarding for one, co-Ed day for another.

I would never consider single sex for my boys - I can’t think of any benefit to all male environments either for individuals or society. My DB and DF were both horribly bullied at all boys schools. I have no reason to believe this is any better nowadays.

Theyll love boarding but I agree with PP - don’t move their school. The idea will do more harm than good

@Windowboxgardener Thank you for the help, I think I’ve come to my senses and realized if I like the idea of a boarding school, then I should probably just let them board! Instead of trying to do it for only a year or term which would probably just be harder for everyone. It’s good to hear your son has really enjoyed Cothill as it looked very appealing from when we first saw it online, and we’re going to see it soon.
I think it would be nice for boys to have their own space when they’re younger and that’s why we like the idea of a single sex school. I’ve heard both sides about coed or single sex being positive or negative, but I feel like at the prep age the environment of the school is most important.
Im still a little worried about moving him so young in year 4 but as you said that time would probably allow them have them most fun. We know we don’t want to move in year 8 as that would be too much trouble. Year 7 may be a possibility of year 6 is too hard. Otherwise we’ll take a look at year 4 and year 5 entry more closely.
I was a little surprised honestly when they announced they were taking day boys as they seem to be known as one of the best places to go for a “traditional” boarding experience. I’m interested to see how many day boys will take them up on the offer though in the coming years.

@Luredbyapomegranate Yes thank you for the advice, I’d have to agree now that the idea was a little silly honestly.
I think my main “problem” with deciding about schools at the moment is finding a school for DS that we love as much as Hanford for DD. There are some great schools in our area, but we were quite drawn to some of the boys boarding schools, comparable to Hanford, the only thing we had to reconcile with was boarding full time.
Our older DD currently flexi-boards at Hanford and it has been great (DS are younger).
While schools like Cothill or Ludgrove seem lovely I’m still not sure about boarding full time under 11 as you mention. I think as of right now we’re leaning towards starting them at a local prep (coed) and then possibly moving DS when they’re older if they want to do so. We might bring up the idea earlier though if they end up enjoying flexi-boarding (prep will offer this at 7+).

@DragonMovie I understand the concerns here, and I certainly hope there is little to no more bullying happening at those schools anymore, I certainly wouldn’t want to send any of my children there.
I agree with moving schools for a year or term would be disruptive but we’re still considering boarding for prep.
The debate about single sex is always controversial, however we’re open to it if the school provides a great environment for them. If anything I’m a little more unsure about a single sex senior school for either DS or DD. Once the time comes we’ll come ask DC, look at schools, and weigh the options. There’s always the possibility to move in the sixth form as well for a coed experience.
Which coed boarding schools would you recommend for prep instead? I’d be happy to consider them, as a caring environment is most important to us.

@CountryMumAtHome For co-Ed country boarding preps you are spoilt for choice in Dorset. Sandroyd seems an obvious candidate if you want a glorious setting. Port Regis is amazing in terms of facilities, as is Millfield. Perrot Hill and Hazlegrove also worth a look- there’s a fab new Head at Hazlegrove who was previously Deputy Head at Cothill. Sherborne, Salisbury Cathedral and Pilgrims are all good if your DS are musical. The advantage of all these schools is the ability to be present for your DS, flex about whether and when to board, and especially to be able to build a friendship group of other boys (and girls!) they can see out of term time, because you are fairly local. And then if you choose one of the senior schools in the area off they go with a clutch of prep school friends for a soft landing. Really my only regret about going from Cothill to Sherborne is that it’s not a very well trodden route so DS had to start making friends from scratch.
Incidentally, the opening up of Cothill to day boys is just for those in the two junior most years, for boys who will then go on to board, as a way of easing them in. Cothill doesn’t have a pre-prep, and local families who don’t want their DS to board from Y4 tend to start them off elsewhere at places like Moulsford, then move across in Y5 or 6. I imagine the lack of a day option for the junior years put a lot of families off who would otherwise have been a very good fit. I don’t think that will carry through to the middle and senior years at Cothill, but time will tell.

I’m really confused, you say your older children are currently flexi boarding at a prep school, why are you looking at a different education for your younger children?

You only talk about what you want, have you asked your children what they would like?

@CountryMumAtHome
FWIW I am also thinking about coed for senior schools as I think it might better for boys at that age. At prep school level though there seem to be good arguments for single sex boys - for example they can’t sit back under the radar in class while girls do all the talking and volunteering which is quite common in coed primaries and preps, and you avoid that big gap in maturity which can open up between girls and boys in the same class.
As for traditional boarding ie send them off to school and see them at half term, I don’t know if there any preps who really do that any more. Effectively Cothill is 2-3 weekly boarding (except for the juniors which is weekly if you want to) and Ludgrove 2 weekly boarding. Summerfields appears to be a mass exodus every weekend.

@Sago1 the OP’s elder children are girls in an all- girls school hence needing a different set up for her boys.

Yes thank you everyone for the help! My two oldest are both girls at Hanford at the moment, and I have two younger sons (it can seem like a lot I know!). So we’ve been deciding on prep school option for our younger sons at the moment. They’re 10, 7, 3, and 1 by the way for some context.

@Hameldown These recommendations are great, we’ve been really considering Port Regis for our sons at the moment as it seems quite sporty and I think they’ll do well in that environment. I’ve also heard great things about Sandroyd, it’s a bit further away and they require all children to board in year 7 or 8. So if the boys want to board we could stay, change to single-sex, or have to move them to a different day school if they don’t want to board. We’d want to avoid moving unless it was to single-sex (per the original idea), so it’s not necessarily a pro or con but sill a consideration for us. Perrot hill also looks lovely but it’s too far from us right now. We’ll look at Hazlegrove and Millfield.
interesting to note about the Cothill leavers, as I know Sherborne is a bit far.
For the day boys that makes sense, I’m in the debating stage myself right now about boarding at 8/9!

@Windowboxgardener All very good points with the coed argument, we’re thinking something similar. If we do single sex for prep then I’d be more inclined to send them to a senior coed school when the time comes, for both my girls and boys. Although, we’re near the Sherborne schools which seem nice as they have a girls and boys school that seems to work together a good bit so that is a possibility. Canford, Milton Abbey, and Clayesmore are all nearby coeds though so there are many options!
As for boarding we like Cothill and I know a mum who’s son went to Ludgrove and enjoyed it so if we did full boarding that’s where we’re leaning (Pilgrims is closest so another thing to consider). After looking at the term dates with exeats and half terms it doesn’t seem like they’ll be away as much as I thought!