Transition from Primary to Secondary School

[FramptonRose]

My DD has just started secondary school and is really not settling.
Her two other siblings are there, she knows the school well and moved up with lots of friends (albeit not her best friends who went to different schools)

The school is very academic and she just seems to hate it there. I keep telling her it will take a while to get used to it but she seems to be more and more unhappy as the weeks go on and is now begging me to move her schools.

She is under the SEN department as she has a few additional learning needs.

I don't want to make a rash decision and move her to a possible worse situation.

Has anyone else moved their year 7 child early on in the year? How did it work for them? How did you know the time was right?

I'm sorry nobody has replied yet.

You say the school is academic and your DD has a few additional learning needs. Is she finding the work hard, such that she feels she will always struggle academically at this school, but believes she will not struggle at a different school?

Is it, perhaps, a lack of friends? My DD has just started at secondary, and made some friends initially, but friendships seem to be very fluid so she's feeling a bit lost at times. However, she knows this is a temporary situation - she will find her tribe.

Or perhaps your DD is simply struggling with the transition from primary to secondary? A friend's DD struggled throughout Y7 despite loving primary. It surprised everyone, most of all the DD. She is now settling a bit more in Y8 but she found the sheer size of the school, number of teachers, level of homework and fear of forgetting something quite overwhelming for a while.

If you can get to the bottom of your DD's issues with this particular school, it will help you to work out what to do next, which might be a chat with the form tutor / pastoral team, rather than a rather more drastic change of school. I hope your DD settles soon.

Thank you so much for your reply.

She does really struggle at school and the primary school were so supportive, she was almost in this little bubble there. She absolutely loved primary school, had loads of friends, I just didn't see the struggle with friendships coming.
I think you are right, she absolutely hasn't found her tribe. She has come home the last two days in tears, she is spending lunches completely alone, it is heart breaking.

I keep telling her moving schools isn't the magic answer, she could move and end up worse off. At least where she is, she has siblings and cousins to turn too in other year groups.

It is a very big school and very strict and although she hasn't been in trouble, other kids have been shouted at and she literally panics that she will get shouted at.
She is really struggling with the adjustment.

I just don't know how long we keep going really. I don't want her to go through the next 5 years desperately unhappy, I also do know in my heart of hearts, it probably will fall into place.

I am meeting with the Head of Year and Senco tomorrow so am going to point all of this out and see what plan they have in place for her.