Moving from independent school to Grammar school after GCSES

[Ontheredeye]

My DS is currently in year 11 at boarding school and we are considering moving him to a Grammar school next year. We are in Kent so have some good options, this depends on him getting a place of course.

The fees were always a stretch for us and if I'm honest I regret going down that road in the first place. Has anyone moved their DC to a state school after GCSES? .

I haven't mentioned it to DS yet and I'm also not sure how to bring it up with the school. We will need to give a terms notice at Easter. He would then have to sit his exams which would be very awkward for him. Otherwise it would mean paying almost £15,000 for a term after he leaves.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

I am expecting that @TizerorFizz. I don't want to name the school on a public thread but I know that it will be very difficult for my DS once we give notice. I would love advice from a parent who has done this at our school ( some boys have left this year in our house) but I don't have their contact details. They will not be helpful after he leaves that I know for sure.

I hope your DD had a good experience at her new school.

@Ontheredeye
It suited DD to move as it played to her strengths. Independent schools are strange institutions though. There are stratas within them. Not all pupils are considered the same or given the same opportunities. Not all parents are the same either, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. We felt very let down by the attitude regarding DD2. New head and new ways of treating people.

@TizerorFizz I have definitely noticed this, not all boys are considering the same or given the same opportunities..My DS has been given more than many but only because he is valuable to the school for something in particular, I have no idea why some parents stay. Possiblity for the big name on their DS's CV, although I don't think it counts for that much these days to be honest. Some boys and parents seem to have enormous influence and we have grown very tired of that. Many can be very unpleasant without any accountability, boys know the pecking order.

We thought that we were giving DS a great opportunity and the school is difficult to gain a place at (although how difficult is an aggregation imo). I admit we got caught up in the prestige of the school but are now more than happy to leave it behind.

Hopefully DS will hopefully get a place at Grammar school. He should be comfortable in that respect.
The next few terms will be difficult and as you said I don't expect them to be helpful after he leaves. If all goes well there won't have to be much contact. It was very poor form of your DD's school to behave in that way , I think ours would be similar.

exaggeration not
aggregation 😁

We had a major issue with a girl whose parents gave a massive gift to the school. She started falsely accusing DDs of all sorts of things. Got one excluded (not mine). It completely upset everyone in the house. The atmosphere was awful. HM and a few other members of staff knew what was going on but would not stand up to the head. We decided to leave and DD wanted a more arty school anyway. The troublemaker then ran away. They could not find her for a day and night! Police turned up. She was found with a boy and then excluded. You couldn’t make it up!!

DC in the house knew she was trouble. They should have been believed but this girl knew how to play the victim and had the money. It was widely known that she boasted of being excluded from 3 previous schools. HM knew this. Head didn’t believe it. Or probably they did, but took the money! First excluded girl was invited back. Obviously she didn’t come back.As I said, some places are just mind bogglingly biased.

I did the same (also in Kent) and found it fine. Obviously it was 20 years ago.

@TizerorFizz that must of been so stressful for you all ,especially your poor DD. I hope she enjoyed 6th form at the new school. I must have been very navie but I didn't expect large donations from current parents to be such a " thing", along with all the parents they fawn over to keep happy for social reasons ,it's very wearing.

We were at the school tonight for am event,it's almost laughable. Time to move on for us.

Thank you @Harridan1981 , I hope it works out as well for us.

Yes it is but it happens everywhere including where dd went! However I had a very tough exterior by then and expected very little other then courtesy. What we did get was great teaching and dd was happy. When dd left the first school other DDs did go to state grammars for 6th form. No issues from what I heard. I think if you are able to find a school to suit, DC will achieve well. Finding enough friends is key but lots of Dc are friendly so most DC settle in. Just make sure subjects are well taught.

I considered this - my daughter wanted to go to an all girls school from a mixed independent school. This required moving and we looked at a state school. Frankly the facilities were lacking - no common room or dedicated place for study for sixth form students. It had a very good reputation but in the end we opted for private again, but I think there are plenty who make the move from one to the other.

Thank you @TizerorFizz , you have been so helpful. I really appreciate all your advice.

You might well expect better facilities in private. It’s their usp surely??

My dd found that the facilities were (obviously) inferior at the grammar compared to the independent, but it doesn’t make much difference to their overall experience. The teaching was just as good.

Hi @Ontheredeye I think we may have a DS at the same school. We don't live in a Grammar school area but our 6th form college is pretty decent and DS is keen to go there next year.

I will sent you a PM if that's ok ?

Of course @Anywaybutthis .

Bear in mind that at sixth form some students don’t do as much school sport or go to clubs in the same way they might have before. It has been great for DD in lower sixth to run clubs for the lower school but now in upper sixth they’ve handed over the baton and they are not involved in most clubs due not just to studies but often having Saturday jobs, learning to drive etc.So at at a school where you are paying for facilities think if they may actually use them.

OP - I am also in Kent (TW area) and a number of DS1's friends have moved from private to grammar this year, for 6th form. All appear to have settled in well in their various schools and I haven't heard of any prejudices.

My two sons attended grammar school in West Kent and without actually naming the school they had a fantastic education and there were quite a few indies who joined sixth form and fitted in well .

Thank you @PettsWoodParadise I agree, we have come to realize that we are not getting anything extra for the fees and we are missing out on so much with DS.

@InOtherWords and @Seemsok hopefully our DS will have an equally positive experience.

I would just give notice and cite the cost of living as your reason. You might also say that IF things go better than anticipated financially your DS might still be able to stay on for 6th form - a sort of rolling notice (even if that's not at all your intention). That way you won't be liable for any fees after summer 2023 but if the school think there's a chance your DS might turn up again for 6th form they will want to keep him and you sweet!